Friday, October 23, 2009

Is Another Real Housewife Biting the Real Estate Dust?

All the children know that Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are unrepentant reality tee-vee junkies who will watch just about anything short of programs that feature former celebrities attempting to grab 10 more minutes of their former fame and glory or even worse, those who are despereate for a paycheck. Those programs, like I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, are simply too sad to watch. One of our most beloved guilty pleasures is The Real Housewives of... franchise on the Bravo channel. We just can't seem to get enough of all those nipped and tucked boojie behawtchas getting into the most ridiculous and petty grade school gurl cat fights. It's all kinds of ugly children, but it's good ugly. Like the Jerry Springer Show only with expensive clothes and jewelry.

The notch in Andy Cohen's reality tee-vee belt is The Real Housewives of New Jersey. While each of the five "housewives" in Jersey were jaw dropping and eye popping in their own way, it was fiery tempered table flipper Teresa Giudice who rocketed to pinnacle of reality tee-vee fame for coining the brilliant put down, "prostitution whore"–which Your Mama uses all the damn time–and for humping around town with a house cat sized wad of cash in her purse. Do y'all remember that episode where she swanned around some furniture warehouse on some turnpike bragging about how she always paid cash for everything while peeling off more than $120,360 to buy a lot of ugly furniture for her ugly new house?

As it turns out and despite that flagrant and vulgar display, Teresa and her huzband Giuseppe–a.k.a. Joe–did not pay cash for a piece of property they own in nearby Lincoln Park, NJ because according to recent reports, the self-proclaimed all cash couple failed to make the mortgage payments on the .47 acre piece of land. Missus Giudice–which Your Mama thinks is pronounced either joo-duh-say or gwee-dee-chee–owes $127,500 on the property and the peeps at the DLJ Mortgage Company want their money or they're going to move to foreclose on the property according to papers filed with the New Jersey Superior Court.

It appears the couple's newly built onyx and marble monstrosity on Indian Lane in Towaco, NJ–which, by the way, backs up to the very bizzy and very loud Interstate 287–is not about to be foreclosed as was reported far and wide earlier today. However, a peep and a poke around the public property records reveals that the couple also carry a hefty, $1,720,000 mortgage on their 10,000+ square foot manse which means they didn't pay cash for that property either which kinda makes Missus Giudice a big fat fibber.

No doubt there is more to this story than meets Your Mama's gin soaked eyes and we're sure Mister and Missus Giudice will soon issue a press release saying it was all a paperwork mix up or some such nonsense. In the meantime, Your Mama is crossing our fingers and toes that the Giudice's real estate dra-muh is captured for the next season of the New Jersey installment of Andy Cohen's reality tee-vee baby.

24 comments:

sawslow said...

I am not too sure about her paying cash for the furniture, I think she gave them $1,200.00 maybe as a down payment? I mean cash of over $120 grand she would have needed a bigger designer bag to carry it all.

I could so totally be wrong she is my fav and times are hard all over, its sad, especially when you talk the new house up so much on TV

Anonymous said...

It seems I read somewhere that hauling around the cash was an idea the Bravo producers had and she was basically instructed to do so. I'm with you, Mama-- Teresa is far and away my favorite real housewife from anywhere. She's awesome!

Anonymous said...

How about Lisa Wu last night: "Downsizing for us is downsizing to multi-million dollar homes."

Bitch, your house got seized from you by the bank!!! I hate her, and her nasty family too. Remember Marlo and her burgundy wig?

MarkyMark said...

"Like the Jerry Springer Show only with expensive clothes and jewelry."

So true, and sad to think that these women generally manage to make said clothes and jewelry look like they came from an apartment-complex rummage sale. God I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Joan Collins lays into these broads.

Penelope Bianchi said...

How about Santa Barbara? Ever go there?

Just wondering. Pretty interesting!
Penelope

Anonymous said...

Well, Mama, you're familiar with the old sayin "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

Just like Lauri Waring and George Peterson on the Orange County Housewives, Simon and Tamra Barney, Jeana Keough, Lynn Curtin, even Vicki Gunvalson, and Gawd only knows who else, these people are dust in the wind - and that only covers the OC group!

I see no real money with any of these sorry folks. Leased auto's, cash purchases, collection agency's, foreclosures, evictions and the like, now that's reality.

Anonymous said...

Bubbies!

denparser said...

sawslow. the money you've said was just so much big. that thing is expensive though.

Trey said...

Wow. When I looked up her house on google images my jaw literally dropped a little. It's quite possibly one of the gaudiest, tackiest, most architecturally offensive rectangles of stucco & cultured stone with a front facing garage i've ever laid eyes upon.

JLo said...

She always pronounces it joo-dice but she can and does speak Italian and pretty well, so she should know it's joo-deech-ay. I'm sure it's just another rich person deciding they shouldn't have to pay more than their property is worth anymore and basically trying to strong-arm the bank into giving them the break they won't give harder up folks. Happens every day these days.

Anonymous said...

there gonna have to change the name of the show to just "real wives" since they dont have houses anymore

Anonymous said...

they can't repossess her bubbies!

Anonymous said...

this is incorrect info and is not true. they were talking about another property that she owns in Lincoln Park, NJ. Her main home is in Towaco.

Anonymous said...

Uh, not to be a jerk, but did you even read the post...it actually says that first reports said their mansion was in trouble, and this article references later articles that say it was for a piece of property in Lincoln Park.

Anonymous said...

I watched the clip. Deary me. Anyone with a Joisey accent should be re-educated or shot. My ears still hurt.

TheFlyingDutchman said...

"which Your Mama thinks is pronounced either joo-duh-say or gwee-dee-chee"

High-larious! I love it.

Viva! said...

MarkyMark,

Joan Collins isn't actually laying into these broads, is she?! My heart be still, she'd wipe the floor with those bitches!

Doesn't surprise me if Teresa is in some sort of financial hot water. But she's resourceful, she and her husband will figure it out.

But those children of hers...good lord what little brats! THOSE are her real problem.

Anonymous said...

Bravo needs some new reality shows. "Flipping Out" was "Flopping Out" this season...watching Jeff and Ryan bicker was boring. The RH franchise was once great...it's devolved into a roller derby-female wrestling fiasco with ripped off wigs and flipped tables. It all seems staged. My opinion...RHOC jumped the shark when Tammy Knickerbocker left; the best episode was when the daughters went to the equestrian facility to interact with the rich girls they knew before the family money evaporated. It was one of the last "real" things I saw on this show. This season will likely bring the Coto Realtor continuing the relentless promotion of her unappealing offspring. I predict in five years all the "kids" will be working with Mom peddling real estate as "Team Keough".

Little Edie said...

Oh, Mama - I too have lost many hours to Bravo programming and like you, in addition to 'prostitution whore', find myself using the following on a daily basis:

'I am a top level executive'
'Who gonna check me boo?'

Anonymous said...

Mama, just out of curiosity, do you call him "Dr. Cooter" cause he's a Gynecologist? "Cooter" is the southern/urban word for an older vigina, respectfully. (:

Nathan said...

I think it's pronounced Gee-uh-dee-chee or Gee-ooh (like pooh)-dee-chee. I love this piece of news. I don't like her. I would love some bad news pertaining to Dina from RHoNJ.

Anonymous said...

I've heard her say it's pronounced "jew-diss"

PopIntern said...

It's Gee-uhh-diise (Like Gia ((the daughter)) dice ((the thing you roll in board games))). I love that family.

Anonymous said...

Mama, I just noticed I misspelled vagina like "vigina," please forgive me. I had no business asking about Dr. Cooter in the first place, and now I look like a damn fool... you did teach us pickney better than that! (: