Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Jason Statham Buys at the Beach

BUYER: Jason Statham
SELLER: Matt Palmieri
LOCATION: Malibu Colony, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $10,950,000
SIZE: 3,355 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms (as per listing)
DESCRIPTION: Tucked away behind Malibuy Colony's legendary guarded gates in this impeccably maintained wood & glass architectural. High ceilings, walls of glass & extensive use of beautiful old growth Douglas Fir throughout. Main house has 3 beds, 4 baths, living room w/ over sized fireplace, oceanfront sitting area, dining area, family room, gourmet kitchen, large family room opens to a courtyard w/ spa tub. Separate 2 bdrm gst apartment w/ bath, 2 car garage.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in late June of 2009 Your Mama discussed a 2 bedroom crash pad condo at the Broadway Hollywood building on N. Vine Street in Los Angeles owned by British born springboard diver turned Guy Ritchie's go-to ack-tor man Jason Statham (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, and Revolver) which was–and still is–listed for sale with an asking price of $1,395,000 which is nearly $150,000 less than he paid for the place in June of 2008. Remember that puppies? Well, as it turns out that condo catastrophe is not the only blip on the celebrity real estate radar Mister Statham has lately made, not by a long shot.

According to the IMDB, the manly, muscled and in-demand action film actor rather wisely understands he's unlikely to win an Oscar for making movies like Crank or The Bank Job. However, somehow Your Mama does not imagine that Mister Statham is feeling under appreciated by the film world given that he's still pulling in piles of paper so prodigious that it would make many Academy Award winning actors weep with envy. In fact, Mister Statham is making so much damn money that he recently forked over $10,950,000 for an ocean front house behind the guarded gates of the super-exclusive Malibu Colony where his new neighbors include people like Tom Hanks and wifey Rita Wilson, Jim Carey and his autism activist ladee-mate Jenny McCarthy, Sting and his Tantric sex partner Trudie Styler and balloon breasted Pammy Anderson who sometimes rents out her house out to rich and famous people like Billy Bob Thornton's ex-wife Pietra.

Property records reveal Mister Statham bought his new house from an Academy Award nominated documentary filmmaker named Matt Palmieri who happens to be one of soon to be dee-vorced Sean Penn's oldest friends and who also happens to be the son of a wildly successful big biznessman named Victor. We're not saying ol' Victor funded Mister Palmieri's 1998 purchase of the home, we're just saying it's nice to have a father who sweats hundred dollar bills, you know?

Anyhoo, listing information provided to Your Mama by Babbling Babette shows Mister Statham's new wood and glass contemporary crib includes 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms in the main house and another 2 bedrooms and 1 pooper in the guest house atop the 2-car garage.

The main house includes a living room with white walls, a gently sloping ceiling, a wall of floor to ceiling fenestration with old-growth Douglas Fir framing that draws the eyeballs out toward the glittering Pacific Ocean, wall to wall sand colored carpeting and an over-sized fireplace for taking the edge of the nippy nights and foggy Malee-boo mornings. A built in banquet provides another seating area off the living room and opens to the brick patio overlooking the sand. The dining area sits between the living room and kitchen which has flat fronted, honey colored cabinetry, glossy black granite counter tops and the full compliment of Viking brand, stainless steel appliances one expects in an eleven million dollar beach house.

The master bedroom in the main house stretches the full width of the house, has more wall to wall sand colored carpeting (yuck!) and opens to a slim terrace through a wall of windows with more, heavy old-growth Douglas Fir frames. More old-growth Douglas Fir was used to construct the built in cabinetry in the dee-voon dressing room and we'll assume even more old-growth Douglas Fir was used in the master bathroom as well as in every other room in the house.

The garage and guest house are separated from the main house by a quiet, out of the wind courtyard where Mister Statham can privately soak his weary, nekkid muscles in a spa tub with gurlfriend Alex Zosman or whatever other buxom ladee friend he might be entertaining these days.

In addition to the up for sale condo in Hollywood and the new beach house in The Bu, records show that Mister Statham also owns a 2,281 square foot crib with 3 bedrooms and 3 poopers on Rising Glen Road that he picked up in June of 2005 for $2,400,000.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

This place has been on the market forever! Wasn't it first listed up at $16M or thereabouts?

Had to laugh at the bottom pic of the beach ... When is the beach ever that wide at the Southside of the colony? There is barely any beach left, at high tide don't even except to be able to walk down the stairs to the beach!

Anonymous said...

This looks to be the ex-johnny Carson house.

See video at the 3 min 45 sec area.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0cDeQAoCDo

Anonymous said...

Absolutely needs a team of fabu gay decorators to make it up all hot and masculine sexy for Mr. Hotness Jason!

StPaulSnowman said...

Please......old growth fir is still a soft wood and nothing to brag about. Take away the quilt and there is very little color. Still, it is nice and tidy but for ten million dollars, Trudy should follow you around to brush the sand off your feet.
If you toned down the ubiquitous hard white, this would be a wonderful place to display a collection of small to midrange paintings. This is one of those places where Mama has told us it actually commanded a ten million dollar price. I really am amazed that such a modest sized house brought that much........even with the fancy neighbors and Malibu mystique......I.live and learn!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I don't get it, either... Underwhelming space, no good beach, and astronomical price.

Anonymous said...

9:31 - Looks like it isn't on the market anymore.

I like it. Change the carpet and put my own furniture in and I could be very happy there.

laura said...

more pics of this house here:
http://www.colonybeachhouse.com/gallery/gallery.php

and

http://www.colonybeachhouse.com/

Anonymous said...

Oh my stars! What a motley crew of neighbors! Great description, Mama - right on point!

Anonymous said...

I so enjoy the ladder-to-nowhere in the master.

And for God's sake, take a spin around the color wheel.

Denise said...

Is that the house Jeff Lewis of "Flipping Out" fame was looking to rent for the summer on the season finale?

Anonymous said...

$11m would buy quality and claasy diseased free Russian escorts - not that I can say the same for this pile.

angeleyes said...

I like this home. Not crazy about the heavy reliance upon stark white for most of the decor (ALL furniture, walls, & ceilings) but they were good choices for marketing a contemporary beach house in Malibu Colony. I looked at an arial photo of this home and it's packed in like a sardine amongst others. That would be a deal breaker for me, especially in the 8 figure price range, beach location or not. Thanks for hunting up those suppplemental links Laura!

Anonymous said...

All the houses in the Colony are packed in like sardines. That's just the way it is, sweetie.

Anonymous said...

That don't make it worth millions!

Anonymous said...

No, it DOESN'T, but the law of supply and demand does make it worth millions...at least in theory. But the children surely know that a property is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it! So we'll just have to wait and see... I just bet that there's a special someone out there who wants to be on the beach in Malibu Colony enough to pay a king's ransom for a place like this!

Anonymous said...

Statham is the man.

Sharon S said...

How do you guys come up with this stuff? I love it. Bring it on!

Anonymous said...

showed that house.. there were bee attacks.. and bee hives.. i hope that was taken care of.. whats better is that they sold it less than what we offered a year ago! suckers.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the staging for the photos has done it any favours. It looks very very cramped.

Anonymous said...

I wonder what the property tax bill for this house is. It's one thing to like a house, and quite another to like a house with a $75K annual tax bill.

Anonymous said...

3:55 - It isn't for sale. Mama's story is about the guy who bought it.

The children can argue whether this house is worth millions until Mama's gin bottle is empty.

The house is worth what someone is willing to pay.

In this instance, that is about 10 million dollars.

Anonymous said...

I walked that beach just a couple months ago, and without a doubt, there isn't a whole lot of beach left there but it is far worse the further you walk down. At least he didn't buy the house on the end. That is a target for birds of you know what I mean.

Hippie Canyon said...

A $75K tax bill? Where do you live? My fingers added it up at $136K for the property taxes. I could be wrong, I'm no accountant (as my new BF often tells me), but that's what I guesstimate. Of more concern... how does one possibly find insurance on a wood-shingled house in "severe high fire hazard zone" Malibu? Nonetheless, I like the vibe of this house (even though it is not really my style). With a smooth stucco exterior and a fab interior from the hands of a NGD, it would be a great beach pad. Its even possible that the courtyard space could help to make up for the sandy catwalk-cum-beachfront. I did say could, not would.

Anonymous said...

Does he lives alone there or does he move in with his girlfriend?
I like his new house. But his old house I also liked...I never thought that he moved out there, because in the Men's Health Living he said that he really likes the house.