Tuesday, June 23, 2009

UPDATE: Tom Cruise


If the children will put on their thinking caps and go back to May 28, 2009, they will recall that Your Mama passed on a bit of rumor and gossip that we received from Famous Freddie about Tinseltown-based actor Tom Cruise and his baby maker Katie Holmes buying a six story townhouse on West 12th Street in Manhattan's West Village neighborhood (pictured above).

Well puppies, it seems Your Mama opened a can of worms because now, three weeks later, the rumors are piling up like cars at the junkyard with new reports on Curbed, Gawker, and in the Village Voice who actually sent a reporter around to dish with a few of the all-knowing doormen on the bizzy but beautiful block.

Although two Cruise family mouthpieces adamantly deny there is any correctness to the canard, one chatty doorman on the block told the nosey peeps at the Village Voice that the new owner–whom he refused to name and whom records reveal paid $15,075,000 for the 8,113 square foot townhouse in April of 2009–will not be around much because he'll be filming in Los Angeles and that the new owner bought the house for his wifey who was recently in a Broadway show. Sure sounds like Shorty and Mousey Cruise to Your Mama* but until Famous Freddie rings Your Mama hollering about how he just spied the first family of Scientology sitting on the stoop sweating out a hot summer night like real New Yorkers then it's just real estate scuttlebutt.

Since Shorty Cruise's crib in the American Felt building on East 13th Street is barely big enough to fit his over-sized ego, it makes sense that he the The Mouse would want and need bigger digs to accommodate them, their trio of Scientolochildren and their retinue of minders, handlers, family members, body guards and ass kissers.

*New York Magazine fairly (and rather cleverly) sussed out that other buyers could include Julia Roberts and Danny Moder, not yet married Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy and Neil Patrick Haris and David Burtka who are reportedly getting ready for a gaybee.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

It looks beautiful!

Anonymous said...

i googled the block..it looks pretty.

i want to see the interior of the home.

Madam Pince said...

"The Mouse" is the best nickname I've ever heard for the always-depressed-looking Katie Holmes! Leave it to Mama to coin the perfect moniker!

angeleyes said...

If the doorman is privy to and related accurate facts, it could only be Cruise.

I love what I can see of this townhouse. I love his Beverly Hills home too.

I love the bit about his 'mouthpieces' even more, as if his big mouth needs the help, lol.

Mama, hope that can of worms dosen't bring a Scientologist calling. Lawd forbid.

Jimmy said...

Am I missing something?? Like a real kitchen. There is one in the staff bedroom (according to the drawing), but doesn't appear to be one anywhere else. Are they planning to grill all their food outside??

Anonymous said...

bizzy block , 4 or 5 doors west of the Janklow house Mama had on here a few weeks ago. But as someone pointed out, maybe to the Misses Cruise bizzy means security. Meryl decamped from #19 for Tribeca 2-3 years ago-- as for this house, well, it's a for-real brownstone--not a brick house called a brownstone, but a real brownstone. I wish he'd stay over on East 12th though. He and the Mouse depress me.

Anonymous said...

Jimmy-- they'll order out of course. This is NY.

angeleyes said...

Jimmy, I noticed that too, and there isn't a room designated for dining either. Hum..

:( broke joe sad joe said...

Only a matter of time until he puts it back on the market,

why ???????????

MADOFF

SUPER MADOFF

ha ha ha baaaaa baaaaa h aaaaa

Jimmy said...

Sorry Folks: I goofed. They have a kitchen: it's in the back extension on the "Garden Floor" and the dinning room is one floor up.

Lilithcat said...

Jimmy & Angeleyes:

The kitchen is on the garden floor, behind the informal living room, and the formal dining room is on the parlour floor, behind the (presumably formal) living room.

angeleyes said...

Oh wait.. scroll the floor plan up a bit. The kitchen is behind the Informal Living Room, and the Dining Room is behind the Living Room (formal).

angeleyes said...

Thanks Lilithcat.. been starting at this monitor too long today apparently :)

Anonymous said...

Enough already about the shiny toothed Scientologist and his beard......er mouse.

Anonymous said...

Kitchen on garden floor is the way these houses were originally built-- it probably doesn't matter in the Cruise case, since the slaves will be down there, but most remodels of Village houses move the kitchen up to the parlor floor-- to get the family closer to mommy in the kitchen, as she heats up the Citarella premade, I guess (not that she won't have help, except they are mainly to take care of the in-vitro twins--the Village is CRAMMED with double strollers these days--but I digress). People want kitchen and teevee room --or great room or whatever the term is these days--together. In fact a house at 10W10 was gut renovated, with the kit left at basement level--didn't sell even before the crash--now it is practically being gutted again, I'm told to move the kitchen up.

Anonymous said...

oh hell i don't care wherethe kitchen is

:{} avg joe said...

NICE TRY ANON

THAT WASNT ME

I DONT USE PUNCTUATION PROPER AWAYS WITH CAPS AND USE MORE ????? AND !!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree that the whole kitchen/family room combo is clearly most desirable in any home these days, and it seems this house has come close to that. The "informal living room" is connected to the kitchen on the garden level by what I'm sure is a bright open stair hall with doors opening to the garden. Close enough I think. Also, did anyone notice the miniscule closet kitchen in the staff room? Guess they wouldn't want the help eating out of their kitchen down the hall. Love the floorplan in general on this place - everything is where you would want it to be as far as public/private places and how they are accessed. There is a nice amount of outdoor space also... guess you should expect all this for $15m+.....

Anonymous said...

The kitchen wing Is an add on?

sad joe broke joe said...

Who ???????????

I am now broke and sad joe

Madoff took me down,

all the while I was on here jeering on about real estate I was trying to sell my properties and they are still sitting I cannot get anything close to what I paid for them in the 90's

and now the bigger guys are even saying real estate is going down another 50%

this sucks a big........

sad joe signing out

"(

Anonymous said...

tom has a tastey rod, oh those were the days

Rebecca said...

Minders, handlers, family members, body guards and ass kissers?

I only see enough bedrooms for Shorty, Mousy, the 3 kids and Nanny upstairs plus one staff room downstairs. In fact, if they have more than one Nanny - which seems possible with 3 kids, didn't Bruce & Demi have one for each of their 3 girls? - then the Nannies will have to share a room in this house.

Also, they are just going to go in and out that front door on the street? Won't they be attacked by the paps every time they do?

It sounds as tho your info's on the money but, if it really is the new Cruise home, I don't think it's the smartest move they could've made.

The Swagman said...

They wont be spending much time anywhere in the States for the next 3-4 months at least as they are about to land in Australia where "The Mouse" is filming her next movie. They will be staying in the Crown Casino penthouse owned by James Packer apparently!

Anonymous said...

FANTASTIC PROPERTY

MAYBE tom CRUISE IS TRYING TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM THE DANGEROUS

CULT OF $CIENTOLOGY

Anonymous said...

W12th isn't really all that nice. W10th is where you want to be, it's one of the prettiest blocks in the city.

Anonymous said...

205 is right-- as far as these streets between 5&^ go, W 11th is also nice. W 9th would be too but its way too busy, major crosstown traf, Path station, bus. Re the retinue-- maybe they will be living in the old Cruise apt over on E 13th, American Thread or Silk or Hemp Bldg, whatever its called.

NewYorkQueer said...

MMMmmmmm there is nothin and I mean nothin better than a hot cup of coffee, Your Mama and a little real estate floor plan PORN in the morning. Always liked short men best and always thought la Cruise would from a little pants down discipline every morning but I guess his "church" takes care of that. 205 is correct, west 10th is the pretty street downtown but I gotta say this is one nice layout.

Anonymous said...

Aw folks don't worry about nannies and cooks and room for the whole Cruise family. This brownstone is for the Mouse to live in alone with Suri when her five year contract as Tom's beard ends next spring. Her dad probably negotiated the sale now so it can be renovated and decorated and photographed for ElleDecor by the time the divorce is announced. Then the Mouse can start a new career by joining the cast of the Real Housewives of NYC.

bentley said...

A fairly perfect layout, I think.

Anonymous said...

actually makes sense-- so lil' Tom will stay on E 13th with his minders and/or fluffers, Katie in the new house. Miss Mizrahi will probably try to horn in on the paps action

Anonymous said...

I'm not so sure about the layout.

That two story addition in the back obviously adds a lot of space, but at what cost? You lose almost the whole garden, although you get it back somewhat with the big terrace - but that's off the MBR. It also looks to me that you've sacrificed some light and what would be a pretty garden view in the LR, which really just looks onto the second floor of the addition (where the DR is). The DR probably has good light and views as it likely looks out onto neighboring gardens.

There should be a dumbwaiter between the kitchen and DR level, and a serving pantry would be nice near the DR, but there's really no space for it. And I think I'd prefer to have the kitchen swap spaces with the "informal living room", even though you'd have to walk throught the kitchen to get to it.

Anonymous said...

as if they're going to be hanging out in the garden much--at least they wont be able to without all of 11th st gawking

Anonymous said...

8:14 here.

^True, 9:14. I hadn't really thought of this in terms of Tom and Katie's use, but then I don't really care about that.

Anonymous said...

odd stenciling on the top structure of this house, facing east: "No loitering" "No dumping" "No spitting"

Anonymous said...

Is there enough privacy for them?
Where will the guards sit? On the street....

Anonymous said...

Tom and Will will be on East 13th, the Mouse and baby Mouse on West 12th, Jada P-S in Hollywood with her gal-pals

Anonymous said...

all those stairs makes my gault hurt even more. j/k. the outside looks nice

Anonymous said...

Very nice...