Thursday, June 25, 2009

UPDATE: Shaquille O'Neal

Hold on to your britches children because according to (not the actor) Billy Baldwin, supah-tall basketball player Shaquille O'Neal's South Beach property saga is over. That's right, Mister Shaq has finally sold his house on Miami's pill-shaped and celebrity stuffed Star Island. For those 4 or 7 children who don't already know the story, see if y'all can follow along Mister Shaq's bumpy real estate road.

The professional dribbler purchased the 19,440 square foot water front beast in 2004 for $18,800,000 and less than one year later flipped it back on the market with an asking price of $32,000,000, a figure which eventually rose to a hair raising $35,000,000 and was later reduced back down to $32,000,000.

Sometime in late 2007, before baseballer Alex Rodriquez filed for dee-vorce and before he was catting around with the Kabbalah Kween Madonna and long before he starting getting bizzy with Hollywood hottie Kate Hudson, word slipped down the real estate gossip grapevine that Mister A-Rod was in contract to buy the lavish but decoratively banal 8 bedroom, 11 full and 3 half pooper pile for somewhere in the $25-27,000,000 range. But alas, like his marriage, Mister A-Rod's deal for the Shaq Shaq did not stick.

In late 2008 Mister and Missus Shaq dropped the asking price to $29,000,000 and after about three years on the market, the real estate weary O'Neals finally and reportedly accepted an offer of $19,000,000 from a wealthy bizness man we heard (but can not confirm) was property developer/Broadway producer Peter Fine. But again...alas...That deal was, too, a no go.

After that debacle, in January of 2009, Mister Shaq's monster manse returned to the market with an asking price of $25,000,000 which was chopped to $22,500,000 in March.

Today, drum roll please, word is getting around that Shaq has finally sold his Shack. In fact, the transaction has closed. Yes, closed. No word yet on who coughed up how much moolah, but the details will surely slip out like water down a slide soon enough. Given that the on again/off again/on again Mister and Missus Shaq (reportedly) accepted an offer of nineteen million in late 2008, Your Mama is hard pressed to believe anyone would pay a penny more than 18 for the place. But we shall see, we shall see.

The last we heard Mister and Missus Shaq were shacking up in a sprawling rented mansion in Paradise Valley, AZ but honestly chickens, we're not sure if they're still living there or if they've moved on to other more permanent digs. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

UPDATE (later same day): News is now leaking out that the Shaq's shaq sold for $16,000,000 which is not only nineteen million less than the thirty-five Mister and Missus Shaq once wanted, it's also according to our bejeweled abacus a bone crushing $2,800,000 less than they paid for the place back in 2004. Just because he's filthy rich, does not mean that don't sting more than just a little.

Who might the buyer be inquiring minds want to know? According to the South Beach Real Estate Blog the buyer is smooth and large chested Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, who happens to be the current man-friend of volatile supermodel and phone thrower Naomi Campbell. We hear the fetching–and reportedly married–property tycoon already owns a pied a terre at the swank Setai in South Beach but guess he figured it was time for something more substantial.

Also, Desert Donna heard our earlier cry and whispered in Your Mama's big ol' ear that Shaq and family have in fact vacated the Paradise Valley, AZ house they were leasing and which is back on the market (and being touted as a former residence of Mister Shaq) with an asking price of $3,600,000 after first being listed at $6,500,000. Looks like thinks are tough all over.

Mister Shaq was just this week traded to some team in Cleveland, OH where he will no doubt rake in a mountain of money so all you children living up around Cleveland way ought to be sure to snitch to Your Mama about where he ends up once he settles in.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like they might be moving to Cleveland soon.

Anonymous said...

Who cares??!!

angeleyes said...

7:54, or at least lining up a place to stay when he's there. How strange that even a man as famous as Shaq has to settle for learning that he's been traded via a stranger on Twitter. Or maybe it shows the extent to which sports figures are regarded as commodities rather than human beings with a life.

angeleyes said...

Oops, and thanks for the update Mama. In light of this home's long up and down real estate listing saga since Shaq purchased it, I'd be very interested in an update on it's final selling price if you're ever made aware of it.

Anonymous said...

I think she's a distinctly boring ack-tress, but I certainly hope Hudson made A-Rod take a few STD tests after his visits to Maadge's unholy vadge

angeleyes said...

Oops again Mama. The South Beach Blog link you provided now states that the final seling price for Shaq's Miami residence is $16MM, $19M less than original list price of $35M.

Anonymous said...

Shaq is heading to Cleveland, with a dumptruck load of CASH.....
Some lucky real estate agent is going to get rich......

Anonymous said...

He was renting Rodney Rogers (former NBA player recently paralyzed) home. If the price is cut, Rodney might need the money.

stixx456 said...

Shaq will probably end up closer to the Akron in the Bath/Montrose area rather than Cleveland. This would be close to Lebron's place.

Anonymous said...

539pm PDT I am officially sick of the Jackson coverage, esp here.

Anonymous said...

Does Denise Richards live in a hotel now?

Anonymous said...

If Denise Richards lives in a hotel, it's probably because her show is being filmed there. No neighborhood would allow the constant filming of a T.V. show at the same location. Also, for security reasons, she would not want it known where she was living, unless the neighborhood was gated.

Anonymous said...

What would be nice would be for Your Mama to make a list of some recent celebrity sales, with the purchase price and then the selling price (and dates), especially re places that have sold at a loss or for less than the owner paid. You know, for schadenfreud purposes.

Anonymous said...

I've long wanted Mama to give us periodic updates on the homes she discusses....

Anonymous said...

shaq just purchased two condos in downtown akron's northside lofts!!

Anonymous said...

Denise Richards does live in a gated community called Hidden Hills. The reason that circulated was the upscale neighbors were in a uproar she had all those camera trucks. But I cannot for the life of me understand her property was big and had alot of land. She still owns the home and is in the middle of some major renovations that she put pics up on twitter. you can see it is the same house some of the walls still have that continous wallpaper. We wish her luck.