Friday, April 3, 2009

If You Can't Sell It, Lease It

OWNER: David Spade
LOCATION: Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $65,000/month
SIZE: 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Amazing architectural beach house on sandy La Costa beach with a beautiful pool and private patios available for seasonal rental. Unmatched design and comfort at the beach!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Spring has sprung and all those people who still have money to burn on summer rentals have started to scour the streets and shores of Malee-boo and the Hamptons. Given the rather rough state of the economy, Your Mama imagines renters will be asking for some seriously steep discounts.

But that isn't stopping home owners from asking for big numbers. For example, itty bitty comedian David Spade (who reportedly gets all the ladees with his not so itty bitty spade) has put his ocean front crib on sandy La Costa beach up for a summer lease with an asking price of $65,000 per month.

It's perhaps not surprising given that Mister Spade wants to let out his daintily decorated beach house given that he had the place up for sale in the summer of 2007 with an exuberant asking price of $16,000,000.

Listing information reveals that in addition to 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, sixty-five grand a month in Malee-boo gets a rich renter garage parking for two cars, 4 fireplaces, a small swimming pool on the highway side of the house, a spa and a sauna for sweating out the booze toxins, a glassed in sun porch, an open plan living, dining and kitchen area with high ceilings, Shabby Chic day-core, wide-plank wood floors, a big daddy Viking range and French doors that open to a large deck facing the roiling Pacific Ocean.

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

A pool on the highway side?

Loser*

*(pronounced the way Mr. Spade would say it)

Anonymous said...

the interior seems sweet, all the "standard" beach house items. But My God, to be within earshot of the neighbors like that. Not a shred of privacy. And as the above commentor mentioned, the pool on the highway side is a drawback. But then again, that's pretty much all of Malibu, beachside. Your really put your stuff out on "Front Street" for the world (and the paps) to see.

stolidog said...

and all the crabs you could ask for...

Anonymous said...

Funnily enough, at first glance I thought this house was under construction and covered in scaffolding -something about the dark trim and the dark railings on the balconies!

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:25--it's SO funny you mentioned you thought the house was still under construction, as I thought the exact same thing when I looked at the picture. It's hideous!!! I do NOT understand the attraction of Malibu at all--granted the weather is nice, but the weather is nice in a lot of places that aren't so crowded.

Princess Shotsavodka said...

The beach is pretty. I should have gone to Promises instead of Betty Ford.....................

Anonymous said...

I also thought it was under construction. Those X's on the railing are hideous! He needs to get Jeff Lewis over there, stat.

lil' gay boy said...

One more for the "Thought it was under construction" party, please...

Baby Benz said...

yuk jeff lewis icky yucky poo poo

Starck Mad said...

Horrendous!

Viva! said...

I always think this dump is under construction...lovely area, right on the beach, but one ugly helluva house.

Anonymous said...

LOL, same here, thought it was scaffolding and under construction...felt stoopid till heard others thought the same thing!!

Mama's black sheep in WEHO,
playin' nice

Anonymous said...

I can't lie, when I looked at the picture I thought it was under construction also.

And also, Mama, get rid of the stupid word verification.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the roofs and windows got a total redo? Not the greatest looking house on the beach, but a larger lot than normal.

Seems everyone is leasing now. The few beach houses for sale in the area where also pulled off listings.

The only real bad thing about this location is Pacific Coast Highway is inches from your house/garage. If you check Google Street view, you can see he placed a very large angle mirror over his garage so he can back out without getting slammed by a speeding car. Very dangerous area with NO room for street parking. A lot of people actually park part of their cars hanging in the highway. This is one of the dangerous sections along PCH.

Looks like Joe Dirt got real greedy for what he paid for it and what he wanted to unload it for. Doubling down on that sale price. Guess he needs the money now for that Baby Momma and kid that surprised him.

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/21606-Pacific-Coast-Hwy-Malibu-CA-90265/20552090_zpid/

http://www.californiacoastline.org/cgi-bin/image.cgi?image=200601921&mode=big&lastmode=sequential&flags=0&year=2006

Anonymous said...

Thanks Anon 2:20 for those links.
Wow California is retarded.
Who would pay $7 million much less $16 million to live on a freaking highway.
I mean the house literally sits on a highway.
Where do people park when you have a party?
That is nuts.

Anonymous said...

do people ever get tired of making the same old fucking comments about malibu? the prices are too high. the houses are too close together. it's too close to the highway. just all you rich people wait until the big one hits and your homes are in the water.

we know. we know. WE KNOW! we've all heard that a million times and it's tired.

at the risk of getting lambasted by a bunch of people, why do i get the feeling that most of the malibu bashers live no where near an ocean and maybe have never even been to the ocean because if you go around the fucking world most (but of course not all) ocean front communities are tightly packed...have you ever been to the south of France? or how about the Jersey Shore? or how about the areas around Sydney? South Florida? Hong Kong? Capetown?

Living near the ocean comes with a high price and generally speaking, little land with neighbors much closer than if you lived in some surburban community if the midwest or even a few miles inland.

honestly people. some of you need to get out of your houses more and you might realize that not every beachfront community can be the hamptons or palm beach where the lots are larger (and the prices are SURPRISE! higher).

now go ahead and call me all sorts of names. because that's what children resort to.

Anonymous said...

7:47 - LOL! You said a mouthful. I don't know that I would have said it quite like you did but, yes. I agree. And it is why I comment less often. Too much screeching from people who've never been within 100 miles of the house they are picking apart.

About this house - I'd change the color of the railings to something lighter. As for the pool landside, it probably gets more use protected from wind than if it were on the ocean side.

Anonymous said...

Both of you are absolutely correct. When will all these civilians and red state retards realize that we rich and fabulous folks love to throw our money away and leave us alone! If they want a big broad private beach with I'm sure these trashy little dim wits can find one in North Carolina somewhere. Peons. Idiots! J'adore Malibu!

Anonymous said...

Well you rich and fabulous Californians (cough cough), I grew up on the beach right on the beach in the Caribbean for the first 15 years of my life. Our beaches are far superior to yours and my parents did not pay anyway near what you fools do to live in a house that looks like a shack that is inches from the highway. We had a nice big front yard and when we had guests and parties, they could actually park at out house in the driveway. No wonder they can get away with charging you fools a 10+% sales tax and 10+% state income tax along with the other taxes you pay and it definitely explains why they were able to convince people in that state to pay 4 times what a house was worth. And by the way living on the ocean is great except until it rusts the crap out of everything.
I bet it sounds great too when you are sitting on the back deck of your $16 million house listening to the roar of 5 lanes of traffic going right by your house. How peaceful.

Native Californian said...

Oh boy. The free floating anger that some people have for California is stunning, just stunning.

Why don't all you California haters identify where you live so all us fabulous Californians can talk shit about where you choose to live that is so much better.

But you won't. Because maybe, just maybe, you are geographic cowards living in states no one really cares about?

Anonymous said...

many of us HAVE lived in California. We have simply discovered that there is indeed life in other places. I personally love to read this blog because whenever I miss LA, and I often do, I get a little "sticker shock" and am reminded why I left. I think the discourse here gets nasty when either party is the least bit UNSURE of their geographic choice. No reason we can't be civil. There is celebrity real estate all over the WORLD that is interesting as well.

StPaulSnowman said...

Anon 11:03.........I wish I could live in North Carolina.........in a house called Biltmore. Every state has something to be proud of and beautiful houses to see. California has been identified as the glamour state in the music and film of our culture but many of us are happy just to visit relatives there. On some of my visits, however, it does seem like everyone lives there......I believe ten percent of the U.S. population actually does.

Anonymous said...

every day i see more and more California plates down here in Texas. It's just the economy. Sadly, some of us will have to defer or alter our dreams for the sake of reality. I had to. But Thank god for the interweb (as our beloved Mama calls it!), we can all share in the thrills and chills of celebrity real estate.

Anonymous said...

11:33 - Apparently they aren't "your" beaches since you were only 15 (so your parents were footing the bills) and they didn't even stay living there as you have stated. So unless you are 16 now (and your parents are still footing the bill), where do you live now that you (presumably) pay the mortgage?

Anonymous said...

12:25 - It is interesting that someone would leave *California* because of housing costs. Yes, it costs a lot of money to live in Malibu (or a number of other premium areas). Thst shouldn't cause "sticker shock" for someone who has actually lived here.

California is a very big state and much of it has housing costs in line with the rest of the country. Our coastline is 800 miles long. You can live on the beach for much less in more of a house with more land without leaving California. Mama just isn't going to write about those areas because quite frankly, celebrities don't live there.

And if you want to live in the middle of nowhere for next to no money, you can do that too in California. We have areas inland that are just as cheap as parts of the midwest.

It's nice living in a state that has a little bit of everything.

Anonymous said...

It was simply a large profit made at the right time that allowed me to purchase a home in another state for cash. All my other costs are lower here as well. Of course I never see reality show stars at the local carwash, so i'll bow to your royal californianess...........don't get so uptight, noobody is asking you to leave the golden state! are you so insecure about your love for your state that we red state retards file you up so much?

Anonymous said...

Mama used to live in New York. The whole fucking world does not reveolve around California. Mama will write about any state where celebrities live, am I wrong?

Anonymous said...

3:01 - No insecurities here about being a native. Seems the insecurity might be on your part feeling the need to make an argument that you had to leave California to buy a house for cash. You can buy a 3 bedroom 2 bath house less than 2 hours outside of Los Angeles for 50k so your "windfall" must not have been much.......

nc said...

At first sight, I thought this house was under construction. I hate all of the black/dark colour they've used for the awnings and railings.

Anonymous said...

Reality show stars at the local car wash?

Life in California isn't what you see on TMZ.

Anonymous said...

10:38 ca former meth lab in lancaster for that price? butthead

Anonymous said...

You can buy a 3 bedroom 2 bath house less than 2 hours outside of Los Angeles for 50k

where? a foreclosure in desert hot springs?

Anonymous said...

You can buy a 3 bedroom 2 bath house less than 2 hours outside of Los Angeles for 50k.


OK LET"S SEE THIS HOUSE

Anonymous said...

I guess the whole world is bamboozled by expensive places like CA, NY, parts of FL, the coast of NC...all those ocean side places where people flock EVERY FUCKING SUMMER for vacations.

why is that?

why aren't they going to iowa or alabama or michigan or whatever fucking state all you people complaining about how fucked up prices are in LA or Malibu or the Hamptons?

prices are higher BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT TO BE THERE. It's that simple. the coastline of Calif. and the coastlines of all of the US will always be more expensive because of that.

And...as all us coastal Californians know just how many morons in pee-cup trucks from the San Joaquin Valley and etc. RENT HOUSES ON THE COAST FOR THEIR VACATIONS. How many people in Laguna Beach or Carmel are renting vacation homes in Sacramento or Lancaster or Bakersfield or one of those other places where people love to whine about the cost of the coast but still come and spend their money here anyway.

it's pathetic. if you don't like the coast of CA, stay away from it just like I avoid anyplace east of the coastal mountain range and west of Pennsylvania.

Anonymous said...

8:39/8:41/9:42

Or should I say "Average Joe"

The comment at 3:01pm was that they had to leave California to be able to buy a house for cash.

If that poster wants to show what they bought for cash, I would be happy to find a comp for it for sale in California for the same price.

Of course if that was you posting as an anon at 3:01 to start shit, don't bother because we know you can't afford a cardboard box.

Anonymous said...

I'll be the 45th to say I thought it was under construction. What a fug mess.

Weirdly, that square glass room on the left is ringing a bell. I have the weird intuition that this room was where they filmed a segment of "Curb Your Enthusiasm", when Cheryl leaves Larry and rents a house on the beach. I remember noting the square boxiness of the glassed room they were sitting in, and Spade being a comedian as well, I wouldn't be surprised - they're probably friends. Just a hunch.

Anonymous said...

Riverside County, Antelope Valley, & Kern County all have properties for 50k. In Kern County, you only have to spend 30k for a 3b/2bth.

Anonymous said...

LMFAO

I love how you desperate (and probably hungry) realtors and faux rich option arm holding wannabes get all in a huff when people make fun of your precious little Malibu.

If you were really "all that"...you wouldn't give a flying fuck what others have to say and wouldn't even feel the need to defend.

Shows just how insecure the "rich and famous" really are.

Must be the new money thing.

Happy in Dubuque said...

There is a big difference between spending too much money to live by the beach for a week of vacation and buying there for too much money. Keep telling yourself we all want to be where you are and live where you live. East of the coastan mountain range and west of Pennsylvania........what elitist folly! Oh, and if you still want to marry your boyfriend, you can do it in Iowa but not in California.

Anonymous said...

this is all the pot calling the kettle black isn't it? someone from california defend against maligning statements (and maybe makes a few of his or her own) and then all those people making maligning statements about Calif. say asinine things like, "If you were really "all that"...you wouldn't give a flying fuck what others have to say and wouldn't even feel the need to defend."

Give me a break. How about what it says about the people who feel the need to malign California? Explain that.

P.S. seems to me all the more recent devastating natural disasters that have occurred recently are in the midwest and the gulf states...where all the people live who laugh when Malibu burns or say stupid things like, "Wait until the big one hits, you'll get what your deserve for living on an earthquake fault."

i choose an earthquake fault, you choose a flood plain or a hurricane magnet location.

P.S. dude in Dubuque...keep on coming and spending all your money here. we love it when people who like to complain about CA come and line our pockets with all their hard earned money.

Happy in Dubuque said...

You dolt.. I never said I had been to California. In fact I have never been there. You assumed based on typical California arrogance. You made my argument.

T.T. said...

And there we have a typical midwestern genreralizaton.

Anonymous said...

people some of us left CA in 2005 and 06 when we made a heap on our houses, paid cash elsewhere with the profits. But TODAY you can't do that. This argument is irrelevant in today's market. These 50K Cali houses did not even exist then. It's a new world. In case nobody noticed.

StPaulSnowman said...

"typical midwestern generalization".......now that is one I never heard before. why don't you have a piece of rhubarb pie and just generally relax.

Anonymous said...

8:07 - You CAN do that today. Well, maybe not YOU. But people CAN pay cash for houses AND stay in California.

Maybe those 50k houses were 100k at the top of the market. But guess what? Those 30k houses in Kern County were still only 50-75k.

The point is, one did not need to leave California to pay cash for a house. Maybe they would have to move away from Malibu or away from the Santa Monica mountain range to pay cash, but they didn't have to go all the way out of the state.

And I don't believe anyone actually did it. People leave a state (any state) for jobs, family...not just for housing. That's an Averaga Idiot idea.

Anonymous said...

so kern county is a reason to stay? what's there?

Anonymous said...

And I don't believe anyone actually did it. People leave a state (any state) for jobs, family...not just for housing. That's an Averaga Idiot idea.


go to realtor.com and compare prices. there's a whole world out here in the united states. some people actually leave california for the simple reason that get more house for the money. Plus there are better places to live in general. Right now you have a very very high jobless rate in Cali. Texas does not.

Anonymous said...

No In and Out burgers in Texas

thevinylvillage said...

I, too, thought this was covered in scaffolding. Entirely too much goo-gaw on the exterior.

Hello? said...

I think people leave CA for other states for all kinds of reasons including that they can get more for their dollar real estate wise. That would seem a perfectly legitimate reason to move. Because let's be honest, it's expensive to live along the coast in CA. Very expensive.

However, that doesn't make CA any less desirable a place to live. It just means that some people prefer not to or can not pay the high cost of real estate in coastal CA.

It's funny this debate over which state is better or what a joke CA is...because what difference does it make really? If you want to live in Ohio, live in Ohio. If you want to live in Alabama, live in Alabama. If you want to live in CA, live in CA.

And why would anyone care if I choose to live in CA? Just because you wouldn't do it due to high prices (or whatever reason) does not make you smarter than me or me a fool. In fact, it means nothing at all.

And for all you people who think CA is nothing but plastic tits and fake tans, I suggest you visit CA before running your mouths about that because CA is a big state with a wide diversity of people and to saddle an entire state with a stupid stereotype is childish and, frankly, ignorant.

That's like me saying that everyone in Mississippi is a bible beating racist that dropped out of school in the 8th grade. which is obviously not the truth.

So let's chill it on the whose state is better debate. Because no one can ever win a petty argument like that.

Maliboo Barbie said...

ugly house. ick.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Hello?
Well said. Mama has children all over this great nation. It would be nice if we could keep an open mind and not get so bitchy. There's a lot of people on here who try to have civil discourse, and then there are the perpetual bitches who jump angrily on every comment. Hey Bitches - Try a G&T and a big fat nerve pill before you write your comments next time. We might actually have a few laughs. Sometimes we get so damn serious.

sodamnserious said...

I agree with everyone and everything they said. Now where can I get a Chevrolet full of those nerve pills you all keep talking about?

Anonymous said...

Texas has Shrub and his drunk wife. Nuf' said.

Anonymous said...

i think OCTOMOM represents the California dream best.

Tom said...

How does Octomom represent the California dream best?

What is the California dream?

A house in La Habra, a litter of children and paparazzi parked on the front lawn? Is that really the California dream?

Anonymous said...

7:41

There is a whole world out there beyond the Unitied States. And you can get way more house for your money by moving to Nicaragua or Haiti than anywhere in the US.

The idea that someone decides where to live solely for home cost idiotic. Uprooting your family and making a career move to leave California (or any state) because you can get a bigger house in a different state is idiotic.

There is more to life than house prices.

Anonymous said...

You can say that again! There is the cost of decorating and landscaping.

Octo Mom said...

does anybody know where i can find a nice home with at least 8 TERLITS? Thanks!

Anonymous said...

You silly girl. You can flush more than one down a single terlit.

Anonymous said...

Octomom, here is the perfect home for your 14 children -

5770 S Eastern Ave
Commerce, CA 90040

Byggeservice said...

This is an ideal house for summer. Its totally amazing, thank you for sharing

Nickuuhg said...

Riverside County, Antelope Valley, & Kern County all have properties for 50k. In Kern County, you only have to spend 30k for a 3b/2bth.