Monday, March 9, 2009

Lease Jesse McCartney's Hollywood Hills House

OWNER: Jesse McCartney
LOCATION: La Granada Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $4,900 / month
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Open flr plan w/ lots of windows & French doors provide a natural bright environment. Maple hardwd flrs enrich this modern masterpiece. New baths. Each BR has own BA. Kitchen opens to living ara w/ premium ss appliances & a generous island for cooking & entertaining. SEXY backyrd w/ custom spa w/ waterfall & cyn views, fire pit & luxurious outdr lounge seating...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Former boy bander and soap opera actor Jesse McCartney has put his house in the Hollywood Hills up for lease with an asking price of $4,900 per month.

Your Mama would never have picked this property up if it weren't for Big Dave who pointed our beady little eyes in its direction. Since we knew next to nothing about this Jesse McCartney person, we took to the internets and learned his solo and third records went platinum, that he writes songs, has appeared in a fair number of films and television programs and has big dreams of being an actor, producer and director. All this from an ambitious and boyish looking 21 year old with a crooked smile, unnaturally white teeth and highlighted hair. Okay, it looks maybe like Mister McCartney has gotten rid of the Kenneth Brown style coiffure, but he was rocking that hair-don't for a looong time.

Although he was once linked to veneer-tastic entertainer Hilary Duff and then for a long time to some young blondie named Katie Cassidy, our quick cruise around the internets looking for 411 on young Mister McCartney also turned up a number of reports that he recently dated (or "dated") some bisexual singer named Aubrey O'Day who apparently prefers not to label herself a bisexual and who is apparently famous for being in some group Your Mama has never heard of called Danity Kane and, among other slightly more dignified endeavors, for baring her double-D chee-chees in Playboy. Mister McCartney now appears to be hooked up with young actress Hayden Panetierre and is even rumored to be responsible for her busting up with her previous, nearly old enough to be her daddy boyfriend, Milo Ventimiglia. Oh, what a tangled and tawdry web young Hollywood weaves...

Anyhoo, we digress. Property records indicate Mister McCartney picked up his Hollywood Hills hideout in May of 2007 for $1,076,000. Property records also reveal that Mister McCartney's crib measures 1,600 square feet, a size we find perfectly appropriate for a semi-successful young man barely old enough to imbibe booze legally.

As do many houses that line the narrow, twisting and sometimes dangerous to drive streets in the Hollywood Hills, Mister McCartney's house sits right up on the road, a situation that we're sure some of the children will find reprehensible and inexcusable while others with a penchant for living in the hills will understand is completely normal and nothing to sweat about. After all, it's not like there's ever bumper to bumper traffic on La Granada Drive.

Listen children, as blurry from booze as our vision may be, Your Mama has eyeballs just like every body else and we can well see that Mister McCartney's house lacks any real architectural interest or joie de vivre. But before y'all get your panties stuck up in your cracks about the rather insignificant facade, please try to keep in mind that not all "contemporary" houses can be Launters or Koenigs and not every homeowner has the inclination or financial wherewithal to turn an oyster into a pearl. Okay?

Therefore Your Mama actually appreciates that Mister McCartney and his his nice gay decorator painted the exterior a flat charcoal color which almost (but not completely) deadens the unnerving effect of the wonky window placement. We also acknowledge the decision to paint the stair treads red was a good one as it gives a needed jumpy pop of color and further helps to draw attention away from the window situation. However, as much as we like the charcoal paint and the red stairs, we absolutely loathe the tile work around the front door. There's a rule in fashion that applies to ladees who tend to over-jewel and over-accessorize: After getting dressed, look in the mirror and remove at least one item because too much decoration is simply too much decoration. We would have like to have seen the nice gay decorator apply the same rule and restraint with that front entrance.

Although the house appears to be a single story dwelling sitting atop a two car garage, it's actually a split level situation. The front entry is flanked by the home's two bedrooms each of which, according listing information, has it's own private pooper, a set up the Dr. Cooter (who is a bit pee shy) appreciates more than we could ever express.

Up about half a flight of stairs is the main living space comprised of a maple floored living, dining and kitchen area that opens to the back yard and has a row of clerestory windows to harness ambient light from the east facing front side of the house. The living room, painted a pretty but slightly too retro shade of blue for our personal taste, features a flat screen tee-vee mounted above the fireplace (natch) and a small but comfortable looking seating set up with a large linen covered, cozy looking sectional sofa and a pea green colored Eero Saarinen Womb Chair and Ottoman which are expensive, trés trendy with mid-century modern types, and quite comfortable.

In between the living room and the pint-sized but well equipped kitchen is a dining area with a round, marble topped Saarinen table surrounded by four wire Bertoia chairs with faboo orange cushions. (Your Mama loves almost anything orange). The kitchen has been fitted with white cabinetry, a back splash done in triangular tiles in various shades of avocado green, stainless steel appliances including double ovens (a real feat in a kitchen this small), and a large work island which is really what keeps this wee kitchen from being almost non-functional for more than brewing coffee or a fixing light snack.

The easy maintenance and drought tolerant backyard features gravel instead of grass (which we like), a built in fire pit (which we could care less about), an elevated spa (which the Dr. Cooter would love) and a couple of outdoor lounging beds which look very comfortable but are a little boo-teek hotel for our liking. We'd much rather one of the concrete pads on which the bed whoozy-goozies are sitting have a table and chairs for outdoor dining and the other two clean lined loungers like those that can be bought here with a small drink table and giant umbrella in between.

We can understand why Mister McCartney might not choose to sell his house in this turbulent real estate climate because, as nice as some of the renovations to this house may be, we sorta doubt he could get what he paid for the place. However, we're always surprised when a famous (or quasi famous) person like Mister McCartney chooses to lease his or her home. We can certainly understand wanting the income to off-set the mortgage, but one would think they'd prefer to keep their private quarters, well, private. Whatever the case, this house is up for short term grabs and we're sure it will make a comfortable Los Angeles landing pad from some young actor or actress in town to make a movie. Shoot, with a few tweaks here and there, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, who do not want or require a large home to be comfortable, could be happy as clams up in Mister McCartney's crib, despite the window issue on the front facade.

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised he owns this house. I know right where it is. While not a busy street, it gets a lot of foot traffic during bowl season.

Anonymous said...

And the beige hating children will appreciate knowing it was all manor of beige before Jesse's gay decorator got a hold of it.

Anonymous said...

too bad he didn't use that same red to flank the entry door - I think it would be better than the white tile and good feng shui as well.

What's up with that teeny tiny ceiling fan in the bedroom. It's so small I don't see the point.

Anonymous said...

These windows would be hideous no matter where you placed them. His decorator should have matching red fly-paper hanging on them.

angeleyes said...

Nice writeup Mama, and have to say I really like what Jesse, his decorator, or whomever did with this house. And to think when I was 21, I was renting a room in the college town where I went to school. Well, at least I had progressed beyond sharing a dorm room by then, lol. You have to respect someone as relatively youthful as Jesse demonstrating such grown up good taste.

Anonymous said...

10:12 - I appreciate that his gay decorator didn't cover the tile (it might actually be stone) on either side of the entry. It is original to the house.

Anonymous said...

That Jesse is a fine piece of ass!

Anonymous said...

Shame about the face, though.

Anonymous said...

Shame about the face, though.

:{} avg joe said...

mama can you do an blog on the safe house ? it is a combined 19,000 sqft with views to die for, I was up there a few times for cocktail hour,

address is 8570 cole crest drive

I heard from the neighbors it was built illegally on cole crest drive but it was still built, the owner, a lady, owns the hallmark channel

it has been up for sale off and on since 2001 no takers yet as far as I know, could be from the pending lawsuits from the neighbors ? although I heard most of them were dropped, when I was living up there the construction was an eye sore and very noisy, lucky for me I was in and out of town a lot do it did not bother me as much as the neighbors, many of whom are big shots in the tv and movie business, I never asked the owner the true story as that would have been in bad taste, esp since I lived a block from the place,

thanks

Anonymous said...

"would have been in bad taste"

oh, you understand that concept?

:{} avg joe said...

like I said before if you met me in person I am the complete opposite of what I am on here

for one I hardly speak in person, which is most likely why I am rich

Anonymous said...

Mama isn't going to write about the safe house. It's a disgusting pile of crap. Get over it avg joe and jump off a cliff.

Anonymous said...

I agree with an earlier respondent, a red front door would look incredible...And just for the sake of the listing, for added effect, perhaps a picture with the Garage door raised to reveal a spotless garage housing Mr. McCartney's red Porsche 911 Turbo Cabrio....

p.s. not into the outdoor lounging beds -no one maintains them property...a few seasons outside coupled with a few too many dripping wet house guests and they don't look or smell so cool anymore.

Anonymous said...

you would need a panic room when the god damn mortgage is due!

GoldieDigga said...

avg joe, are you single?

:{} avg joe said...

it is not a disgusting pile of crap

why would you say that ?

try and drive by there and tell me that

better yet ask for a tour of the place

I heard, again from the neighbors, it was built for 10MM, the whole compound, so they are trying to break even I guess with this new listing

how can 19000 sqft of living space be a pile of crap ????

you need your head examined

moron

NuclearWintor said...

Dear Mama,
Aren't there any celebrity homes in New York that you can write about? LA is getting so tiresome.

Anonymous said...

Just reconfiming what a dip shit you are avg joe.

First off, how big or small a house is doesn't make it nice you stupid fuck. Second of all, if you could read... your hideous "Safe Estate" is 7,744 sq ft accorind to the listing... not 19,000. You a fucking moron

The whole house is full of 1980's hideousness. The huge recessed lights with reflective inserts, the ugly furnishings, flooring, cabinetry, etc. The entire house is a tear down.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I particularly like the hideous freestanding hot tub on the roof of the Safe Estate.... tre classey

:{} said...

the whole compound combined is 19k look it up, there are 2 mansions on the property not one

:)

Anonymous said...

Well, only one is for sale and having 2 on the same hilltop eliminates the whole purpose of the "Safe Estate" and all privacy. Looks like the owner/builder is as fuckin stupid as you are.

And the wall hung air conditioners throughout the pile are a nice touch too.

Anonymous said...

here is a good look 18 million

http://www.aboardtheworld.com/ownership/residences-for-sale/available/residence-47

Anonymous said...

I don't know why anyone is talking about that safe house here...it's sorta disrespectful to Your Mama to come here with your own agenda, but whatever, manners are clearly not a strong suit of some of the children.

As far at THIS house is concerned, I like it. $4900 seems a bit steep but who needs more house than this if you're not a family?

Anonymous said...

anon 4:00 God Bless you. i could not have said it better. By not commenting on Mama's subjects at hand we are really dissing her hard work. If these people are so fascinated by the safe house or detroit or anything that has nothing do with what Mama is talking about, they can start their own damn blogs. Sorry, darn blog. You are correct about the lack of manners.

Anonymous said...

I saw this house a few weeks back, thought it was kinda cute for the price.

Like Mama, all n all, I like this house. It's nothing spectacular just a nice interesting house. I am sure the neighbors are waiting for him to get out cuz I remember hearing about the po-po being called to this residence several times for young Jesse's loud and out of control parties... and his attitude toward to neighbors complaints was usually to F' Off.

Viva! said...

I like the bathroom and that's as far as I can go with this one...it's just really 'blah' to me, I'm not a contemporary fan...so it isn't that the house is bad, it's just that it's not my kind of place.

Anonymous said...

if a lease or rent is not 25-50% of the monthly payment then is it out of market

I suspect this one will sit for a while unless he brings it down to 2000 a month

Anonymous said...

4:40 - Maybe where you live but not in LA, particularly in the hills.

As a long term rental, the price would be a little high - 3500k would be more like it. But as a short term rental (as Mama posted), which are generally also furnished, it will rent for somewhere between asking and 4000k.

2000k might get you a 2 bedroom apartment at the old rundown vaguely Japanese inspired building a few blocks away on the south west corner of Cahuenga & Odin under the edge of the 101 freeway.

Anonymous said...

RE: The sh*t house or whatever that pile is that we're going to have to hear the troll drone on about for the next 3 years until it sells for 1.5m -

According to the BROKER'S site, the entire property (BOTH buildings) is just under 8000s.f.

So YET AGAIN our resident troll has proven to be CLUELESS.

Anonymous said...

3:01 - The worst part of the sh*t house being full of 80s hideousness is that they didn't even build it in the 80s. It was outdated crap by a decade when it was built.

Anonymous said...

What an absolutely awful house.

Anonymous said...

with Jesse's rep with the ladies, that hot tub would have to be encased in cement.

Anonymous said...

with Jesse's rep with the ladies, that hot tub would have to be encased in cement.

Prince Johan Franco Von Schueltz said...

I had an accepted offer of 2 million for 8570/90 Cole Crest Drive. I want to tear it down and put in a dog run.

But the only way to get the offer to close would be cash and I don't want to put that much into the US right now.

I wanted a bank to carry a mortgage on it and they say land value only at 350k per lot.

So the eyesore remains for now.

:{} avg joe said...

it cracks me up that you

A. could not even afford the monthly payment

so you decide "it is a piece of crap"

btw I have been there, the two mansions on the property combined are 19k sqft I was under the impression that they are selling them both as one, if not then 10MM is wayyyyy to high

I've decided

Anonymous said...

I think I'll take the word of the people SELLING IT to know the square footage over the word of someone who simply claims to have been to a party at the house.

Florida Johnson, M.S.W. said...

Ya'll need to stop picking on Joe. Didn't you see where the prince said he is touched in the head? Jus let Mama put on his helmet and put him on the short bus.

Sandpiper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandpiper said...

Mama, I'm with you on form following function. The place makes sense for this little pup.

What I really picked up on are the ceiling mounted window treatments in the master. It's such a clean tailored look. Digging his choice of the heavy matt drapery, too. Works in that space. Don't see too much of this hardware approach stateside. It was a nice surprise, along with the mid-century touches throughout.

If I were to lock in on the facade, I'd replace the garage door. Looks like it's been used for batting practice.

WednesdayAdams said...

praise jesus! we finally got what realestalker has been desperately needing - an in house MSW! I thought I was going to have help all these special children of Mama's all by lonesome. Good thing you showed up, Ms. Johnson. Glory!

pch said...

Not feeling the Jacuzzi that looks like a stone-clad Transformer, but I think the designers did an otherwise nice job of sprucing up their so-so source material.

Anonymous said...

From curbed NY

prices are starting to come down

"Friend of mine went out to the Hamptons 2 weekends ago and looked at 14 properties for sale between $2.75-3.5m. He put in bids on 8 of the properties at 50% of the asking price and got accepted on 2 of them. Unless you are getting a 50% discount from the broker offer you are paying too much." [Hamptons in Crisis]

Anonymous said...

Here is a freebee mama

now please do some research on the safe house, now I am curious about it


thank you

Could Madonna finally be moving out of her Central Park West compound? Though Her Madgesty purchased a third apartment in Harperley Hall last spring, we hear shes close to buying a $38 million townhouse on the upper East Side. Yes, shes looked at lots of townhouses, but word is, shes said shes ready to sign on this one. "Her current building is, frankly, beneath her," says a source. "But she cant get past the co-op boards of better buildings." Bonus on this townhouse: a private garage, which would cut down on paparazzi interaction. Interestingly, shed be moving just after Yankee Alex Rodriguez, with whom she was once so close, rented a $30,000-a-month pad two blocks away from her on CPW.

Anonymous said...

Shut up already Joe. No one wants to talk about that pile of crap.

Anonymous said...

I thought chee-chees were out back, not up front. Very confused, dear Mama.

:{} avg joe said...

yeah well she did put up the madonna and that tibit came from me, I hit anon by mistake,

look I did not want it to get this bad

the stock market is rallying today

real estate may be bottoming out ?

who knows right ?

Anonymous said...

7:26 - chee-chees as God intended them are out front and may hit the knees later in life. In California, doctors install new and improved chee-chees that defy gravity but are sometimes lopsided and move to the sides.

Anonymous said...

:{} avg joe said...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Anonymous said...

i don't see any pictures of the interiors of the homes anywhere on your blog page right now....
and the on and on and on writing on and on is effing boring...

Anonymous said...

6:02 - Scroll up to the top of Mama's blog, click on the link that says "Create Blog", and start your own. Then you can tell your friend (if you have one) how much they can write. Ok?

Oh.. Hang on a second .... Here ... Take Average Joe with you. Now you have a friend.

Web Development Company said...

I love the house though. It's fantastic.

Anonymous said...

So what's jesse's new home now that he's leasing this one??

Anonymous said...

OMG this house looks cool :D. i wanna live there cuz jesse was there :P lolss omgg ><

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Anonymous said...

is this house is for lease then where does Jesse McCartney live now? i thought he still lives there?