Thursday, November 6, 2008

Lance Bass Tries Again In Beverly Hills

SELLER: Lance Bass
LOCATION: Mulholland Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $3,925,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Private Celebrity Compound up long drive sitting on its own promontory high above Beverly Hills on 1+ acre. Elegant 2-story main house with pool and large deck, open floorplan, chef's kitchen, 3 fireplaces, sexy master suite. Guest House with fireplace, kitchen, bed/bath and 2nd pool, huge sep gym facility with spa-like bathroom, panoramic views on both sides of hill, extra large motor court. Incredible value even in current market. Fabulous entertaining property.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Although it's a little upsetting to the equilibrium to do so, let's begin the day by discussing Hollywood homosexual Lance Bass and the Bev Hills Post Office property he recently (re)listed for sale with an asking price of $3,925,000.

The former N' Sync singer who bravely, but not very surprisingly, busted out of the proverbial closet in July of 2006, went on to become a fixture at Hollywood hotspots like Villa and Roosevelts and can currently be seen spinning, dipping and shimmying across the stage on that dee-pressing but terribly popular Dancing With the Stars program where he is making a valiant attempt to revive his lagging career.

Some of Your Mama's older children will recall we discussed and skewered his Mulholland Drive estate way back in August of 2007 when we'd heard whispered through the real estate gossip grapevine that Miss Bass was looking to lease out his hilltop house while he was back in New York City appearing as Corny Collins in Broadway's blockbuster musical Hairspray.

At that time, thanks to our wickedly well informed tipster Lucy Spillerguts, we also came across an old and expired listings which indicated the former boy bander had actually listed his 3 bedroom and 5 bathroom estate for sale in both in 2005 (for $4,900,000) and 2006 when he hoisted it onto the market with an asking price of $5,250,000.

Property records show that Miss Bass bought his big house in October of 2003 for $3,880,000. It does not require Your Mama flicking the well worn beads of our bejeweled abacus to understand that ol' bug eyed Bass is going to lose his Jimmy Choos on this real estate transaction. Not only will the hefty real estate fees leave him short, he's also going to be out for any improvements, repairs and renovations he made his 1+ acre property that includes a medium sized main house, a good sized guest house, two (two!) swimming pools and extensive gardens that require constant and expensive maintenance.

Records show the main house measures in at 3,811 square feet, but we'd swear it was bigger than that. But then again, as we said in our previous discussion, so many mens things look larger in pictures, okaaay. Anyhoo, listing information indicates the main house includes 3 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, three fireplaces and an desperately uninspired day-core that perfectly suits one of those too large suburban tract houses that litter the land. Since Your Mama worked ourselves into a lather and wore ourselves out picking apart this house last year, we won't bother to do it again other to say that we are soo-prised that Miss Bass did not get a nice gay decorator up in his house to work out some of the more disturbing decorative kinks before re-listing his mansion. A reduced price, albeit a huge reduction, simply does not justify that dreadful coffee table in the living room or the dining room set that looks like something someone would win in the Showcase Showdown on that Price Is Right program.

Listing information also indicates the guest house, which has it's own private swimming pool, includes a living room with fireplace, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Somewhere on the property, according to listing information, is a gigantic gym facility with its own spa-like bathroom where Lance can get a sweat on and then take a steam with his well-built trainer. We think this work out room may be attached to the detached garage, but don't know for sure.

A long winding driveway terminates in a motor court large enough to park the fancy vehicles of every member of Hollywood's alleged pink mafia. A large deck at the rear of the house provides panoramic views over the San Fernando Valley while the front of the property offers a long view over Franklin Canyon and towards the glittering lights of Beverly Hills.

Your Mama sincerely hopes that when he sells this compound like estate, Miss Bass will wise up and buy a more modest crib that will not require he sell his soul to the show bizness devil to maintain. And, as we very sincerely offered in our previous discussion, we encourage Miss Bass to let us know when he moves house so we can provide him with a long list of decorators (nice, gay and otherwise) that can help him create a much more dignified interior day-core than he currently has. Because let's be honest children, no gay dude with this much money should be living up in a house like this. Are we right?

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's disgustingly ugly.

joe in T.O. blog said...

Oh well, so much for the popular culture cliche that all gay men are genetically predisposed towards having great taste and therefore are naturally fabulous decorators. Goodness knows lack of funds isn't an excuse for the ... ahem ... convoluted interior design of this home.

Anonymous said...

wow so if he's lucky to sell at asking he may break even or take a loss?

bentley said...

Ghastly!

Anonymous said...

UGLY

Anonymous said...

So, does he run a 24-Hour Fitness annex out of his workout room to pay the bills? That is the biggest home gym I've ever seen!

The kitchen is ugly. But as for the rest of the house, it might be okay stripped of its ugly decor. Hard to tell because the eye can't focus on bones of the interior with all that crap everywhere. It is like a girl who does the bleach blonde, faux tan, straightened hair, boob job thing to distract from how ordinary she really is.

Alessandra said...

At first glance, I thought the kitchen was a library. As much as I covet a nice, wood-paneled library, that wasn't really a compliment.

It's too bad if he sells at a loss. But "ghastly" is a fairly generous take on the overall property.

I do love Lance and Lacey on DwtS. Go team Lancey!

Anonymous said...

The house is much nicer looking this time around, he toned down the master suite from the scary mess it was last time, I urge you to check out the previous post of mama's on that as well as....

current virtual tour

www.12101mulholland.com

previous virtual tour

http://www.destatesmedia.accountsupport.com/12101MulhollandDrive.htm

I was at a party of Lance's awhile back, and have to say he's much better looking in person than I ever thought, although I didn't really talk to him and was only their briefly I got the overall layout of the property.

The gym occupies part of the garage structure to the east of the house. The guest house and second pool are right down by the gate. The house was originally a one story rambling ranch of the 3,811 sq ft the the assessor's office still reflects. Prior to Lance, the previous owner did the renovation to the house including the second floor master suite and guest bedroom upstairs (2 beds & 2 baths is all that's upstairs). If you look at the virtual tour, you can see in the virtual tour that the bedroom that is on the main floor located on the northwestern corner of the home at one time was the master bedroom. It's the room that now has that four posted bed and that hideous bath with maple cabinetry dual sink, shower & whirlpool. The house now actually is more like 5,000 sq ft.

He's up-grading to a larger home, willing to take the loss knowing he'll get a much better deal on whatever he picks up. He's pretty serious about selling the house and at this price, it will sell. The house itself isn't that bad, and has a phenominal lot with gorgeous 360 degree views, not to mention unbelievable privacy located atop the ridgeline above everything around it... very hard to find in Beverly Hills especially at this price point.

Anonymous said...

that looks like ass. maybe that's why he likes it.

Anonymous said...

Never was particularly a fan of Mr. Bass, although after watching DWTS I have to say he has a pretty yummy body.

This place is horribly decoarted. It's like straight women suburban mom puke everywhere. Sick. Hopefully NONE of the furnishing make it to the next home and he hires a gay decorator, I would even discount my services Lance, gimme a call.

Anonymous said...

Chandelier in the bedroom is the fruitiest thing I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

speechless. no words.

Babe Parish said...

two pools? that is just silly. to me, the haphazard design and overboard amenities are directly proportional to the frustration of the closeted bass of 2003. now he's out and free to boogie! i bet he goes for somethin clean and lean! he's a doll.

Troy N. said...

hideous

Anonymous said...

You guys are nuts if you keep going on about this house being hideous. It's not gorgeous by all means, but there have been lots of more ugly houses. I do agree that house usta be horrendeous but seems to be okay after some of the decor up-grades since last listed. It's just boring uninspired decor.

Anonymous said...

lance can take his pants right off

lil' gay boy said...

Oh My Sweet Jesus, Mary, & Good Saint Joseph!

If California wasn't still reeling from the backlash of Prop 8, I would seriously consider asking Lady Lancelot, in the interest of maintaining a peaceable kingdom, to please turn in her gay card.

Lord, Missy, what were you thinking? This is without a doubt the fugliest manse I've had the displeasure of having scratched across my corneas in a long time.

But he is truly "light in the loafers" on DwtS, and quite the foil on Miss Kathy's Life On The D List. I only hope he's trading up because it's simply too ugly to torch safely when the Santa Anas are blowing…

Anonymous said...

Why is it considered "Brave" that Bass came out of the closet. Hes a singer in a fuck'n boy band.

I think America already understands that someone is "out of the closet" when they join a boy bad.

"Brave"... Come on.

Anonymous said...

You are so ignorant and stupdi anon 4:58

stpaulsnowman said...

They should get rid of the cheap looking pavers and put in a third pool. LGB.........."scratched across my corneas".........priceless.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

What's up with this place? LEVEL IT! Gross dump!

SitDownKaren said...

I don't know him personally but, it doesn't seem to fit him.

Anonymous said...

He's a Southerner, and a hott one at that, so the exterior of the house fits him very well. I think the grounds are beautiful and the hilltop setting up a long drive is very dramatic and a rare thing in LA.

While nothing about the house blows me away, I fail to see the hideousness you all are claiming exists here. It's a nice house, ugly decor, which I'll write off to Joey Fatone's wife decoarting the house back before he was "gay."

The gym is a young, fit guys dream. While looks like he didn't use one much prior to buying the house, he has toned up very nicely the past few years.

Anonymous said...

4:58 - It being in a boy band means one is gay, then send Justin Timberlake and Nick Lachey my way.

Anonymous said...

The pool area is beautiful, but the inside looks so suburbia.

pj said...

His property backs up to The Summit where Britney lives...for now.

CaliforniaGirl said...

I don't believe this house is ugly. I think it's quite nice, especially having TWO pools! Wow! Lots of land/space as well. I would probably rent out the guest house with the second pool and never worry about seeing the tenant but once a month. LOL!

I seriously doubt any of the haters could afford ANY home worth over a million. They probably live in a rented apartment living paycheck-to-paycheck. Haters need to shut up or show us their homes! Let's see what kind of home a hater lives in! Yeah.... I didn't think so, either. ;)

Anonymous said...

I can only imagine the dirty sex parties to have taken place here.

Anonymous said...

Miss Bass is visiting philanthropist Craig Baskin in Palm Springs this weekend. Perhaps the dancing diva is considering a residence in the desert playground. More later darlings.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know who Lance was (no, I'm not mentally retarded - I just don't live in Amnerica). Anyway, I've just googled him and can confirm he is cross-eyed.

Anonymous said...

he is not cross-eyed.

Billy said...

I think I would of rather had the ranch that it started out as. But the location and view is fantastic.

David said...

That sounds pretty cheap for that ZIP CODE!

Anonymous said...

The house doesn't measure up to the lot and location

Anonymous said...

Listen to yourselves....and you wonder why Prop 8 turned out the way it did. It is OK to support another gay even if he is successful...we no longer need to rip each other apart. How very sad that some of these comments reflect the self loathing of the writers.

lil' gay boy said...

Oh honey, please; come down off the cross (the church needs the wood).

If we can't laugh at ourselves, we've got no right to cry "foul" when others do…

Anonymous said...

And, please, get over the tired Priscilla quotes.

It was a cunty article. Own it.

Anonymous said...

My dislike for this house has nothing to do with jealousy for Lance, be it be he gay or straight.

THe house is ugly, whether a str8 man or gay man lived in and decorated it its gross.

Lance is hott and stylish. He should know better regaurdless of his sexuality.

Anonymous said...

Who is Craig Baskin anyway? Is he HOT?

Anonymous said...

wtf does craig baskin have to do with anyhting/

Anonymous said...

Horrible, horrible place for such a youngish man.

Anonymous said...

Real Estate www.posrednicy.pl

Anonymous said...

I agree with David. It seems like a pretty good value.

Jason
Beverly Hills Apartments

Anonymous said...

he's moving to NYC

Anonymous said...

Re: Who is Craig Baskin comment. This is a planted post to generate publicity for a new career as an "international philanthropist"

Real Estate NYC said...

Great Article