Monday, September 29, 2008

Your Mama Hears...

...that bling queen Kimora Lee Simmons has bought herself new house in Beverly Hills.

The children will recall it was only in August of 2007 that Miz Simmons unloaded her N. Doheny Drive manse and scooped up a new nest on guard gated Lime Orchard Road in the Beverly Hills Post Office that happens to sit right up next door to wannabe country crooner Jessica Simpson's California crib.

The children will also recall that nine months later, in early June of 2008, Miz Ants in Her Property Pants flipped the Lime Orchard Road residence back on to the market with an asking price of $7,750,000, a rather gutsy $1,850,000 price increase over the $5,900,000 she paid for the 5 bedroom and 8 bathroom house less than a year before.

Now we hear from a well connected tipster we'll call Danny Dishesdirt that the peripatetic Miz Simmons went out and dumped 8 figures on a 9,405 square foot house on a swanky Shadow Hill Way in the Bev Hills. The property was not listed on the open market.

According to Danny Dishesdirt, the bold, brassy and filthy rich dee-vorcée forked over $11,500,000 for what Mister Dishesdirt called a "tired 90s Medit. villa with a n/s tennis court."

Information Your Mama located on the property reveals that the model turned fashion dee-ziner's new walled, gated and humongously hedged house includes 7 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms, 4 fireplaces, a two story entrance hall, a mahogany paneled library, a ginormous screening room, a state of the art home gym, a wine cellar and an existing guest house. (Mister Dishesdirt also whispered in Your Mama's big ear that there are plans for a new guest house.) Your Mama is a little flummoxed that there does not appear to be a swimming pool on the property. Eleven million plus clams and no swimming pool? No thank you.

Your Mama, as well as several of the children, has already noted that the house on Lime Orchard Road has been removed from the Multiple Listing Service. Of course we don't have any idea why, but perhaps she's planning on staying put on Lime Orchard Road while the new house on Shadow Hill Way is gilded, glamorized, updated and upgraded to her her lavish standards? Could be.

As far as we know, Miz Simmons also still co-owns that outlandish monster mansion in Saddle River, NJ that she shared with her music mogul ex-huzband Russell Simmons which was last listed for sale with a wonky looking asking price of $19,888,000. The (approx.) 35,000 square foot mega-manse no longer seems to be listed.

23 comments:

Emma Ridge said...

What does n/s mean? (as regsrds the tennis courts?) Where I live it means "non-scene" - you know where the lezzbisshiuss types prefer to keep themselves to themselves - so an alternative meaning would be most welcome. Thanks guys.

Anonymous said...

North South.

StPaulSnowman said...

It's really hard to serve into the sun!

Anonymous said...

I'm sold on pickle ball

Anonymous said...

Looks like two homes with tennis courts only on Shadow Hill, one of which is at N. Beverly..... a very busy street. She needs to shop in Beverly Park and get it over with.

Anonymous said...

She spent $11.5 million, you can barely get a lot in Beverly Park for that.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather have a tennis court than a swimming pool. Just saw Miz Thang on t.v. this morning. She made me laugh! The world has turned upside down. I guess no one wants to buy that horrid Jersey place, and I still don't know how Simmons and his ex-wife have all that money.

Anonymous said...

These are all ugly-ass houses. Girl needs a good architect and nice gay decorator.

Anonymous said...

I found myself (via mutual friends) in the same limo as her en route to the USC vs Utah game at the coliseum. Very nice lady! Shoot... If I would have known this two weeks ago I could have asked her for the details!!!

Anonymous said...

This house looks amazing on google street view.
I cant believe it dosent have a pool for 11mill.
I would rather have a pool over a tennis court! its not like she playes.

Anonymous said...

Based on Mama's numbers, it sounds like 1055..which is not on the corner of Beverly & Shadow Hill. It is the second house in but when you consider the size of the lots, she wouldn't even know Beverly was there.

Anonymous said...

Some of the children should learn to count better. There are 6 homes with Tennis Courts on Shadow Hill. But only one without a pool, 2nd one in from Beverly.

Anonymous said...

kimora is an awful, disgusting human being.

LA Ad Guy said...

isn't that the Hearst mansion right behind...kinda in the H-shape with the FAB pool and yard? I forget who owns it now, but I think it's for sale too for major $$$. Mama?

lil' gay boy said...

Could this be said ass-uglee tired Mediterranean?

Oh dear.

LA Ad Guy said...

hey LGB...yep, that's the general consensus...the only one without pool and looks grandy-grand enough for Ms. K. Also Mama mentioned a guest house redesign and that shack in the backyard looks ready for a make-over. Decent neighborhood though...along with the Hearst place next door, the Sam Goldwyn estate is on the other side of the Hearst place and just went on the market, per Mama a few weeks ago...

emma ridge said...

Thanks anon 12.39 pm. "North/South" and not "non-Scene". Why my krazy brain was linking lezbishuss spinsters and tennis I will never know.....

LA Ad Guy said...

what the hell is that last post with all the links? Is Mama gettin spammed by a gamer...oy vey!

Anonymous said...

I am a real estate 'ho in Jersey and I will try to find out the dirt on the manse in Saddle River. Tax records indicate that it is still owned by Simmons but the house is not currently listed. The last listing expired with no takers.

JDV said...

If I'm not mistaken, the home in question was on the "Smells Like Fabulosity" epsidode of Kimora: Life in the Fast Lane. On the show, the front facade and driveway were used to shoot a scene for a fragrance campaign.

Anonymous said...

no JDV this home is not the one they used in the commercial on life in the fab lane.

but i do think she did the commentary parts of season two in this house because if u look in the back round when shes talking its not any of her other homes.

Anonymous said...

This house was part of the old Hearst compound that Leonard Ross now (still) owns.

Anonymous said...

Could it be the one on the end of shadow hill? Or was that one never on the market??