Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thursday Afternoon Mish Mash

Not only is Your Mama is down for the count today with some strange symptoms of sick like sore eyeballs, sensitive skin, tingly innards and a mushy brain, one of our neighbors has been running a LOUD and obnoxious machine all damn morning that has us ready to slit our own (rather sore) throat. So bear with us children as we try to bring y'all a little Thursday afternoon mish mash.

1.
On Tuesday, Your Mama discussed a perfectly loverly London townhouse that our jet-setting tipster with the distinguished Greek surname swore up and down is owned by a U.S. born former model turned boobalicious bizness woman named Caprice Bourret. At the time, Your Mama was unable to confirm with 100% certainty that the contemporary casa is in fact owned (and being sold) by the surgically enhanced Miss Boo-ray.

Thanks to clarifying communiques received from several children, we've learned that Miss Boo-ray actually invited the MTV Cribs cameras into her house which clearly shows that the house we discussed does indeed belong to Caprice Bourret.

2.
Yesterday Your Mama discussed the hew-mongous Hamptons habitat listed for sale by former Lehman Brothers COO and president Joseph Gregory with a stunning $32,500,000 asking price. When Your Mama sat down to pen our little post we were ignorant as to the amount of money Mister and Missus Gregory paid for their Surfside Drive mansion which sits on 2.5 acres of prime ocean front property in super swanky Bridgehampton, NY. Now, thanks to a gabby gal we'll call Bridgehampton Betty, we do.

Property records provided to us by Bridgehampton Betty clearly reveal that Mister and Missus Gregory forked over $19,000,000 for the 8 bedroom and 8.5 bathroom ocean front mansion in January of 2007. Yes children, nineteen million clams.

A few flicks of the beads on our bejeweled abacus reveals that the Gregorys and their pee-pole honestly think their house has increased in value by a whopping $13,500,000 in less than two years. Pleeze.

Your Mama does not begrudge anyone a profit on their real estate investments, but this, children, is reedonkulous. Perhaps we can't blame the unemployed Mister Gregory for trying to turn a 10+ million dollar profit flipping this posh property, but seriously folks, what mo-ron would pay $32,500,000 for a house that 18 months ago sold for $19,000,000? In this market? Your Mama hates to sound like a Chicken Little, but we sorta think the salad days of short term monster-sized real estate gains are over, even in the rarefied market of the hoity toity Hamptons.

3.
Your Mama hears from a well connected source in Beverly Hills that recently released from the clink soft porn producer Joe Francis is sniffing around the better zip codes of Los Angeles for a new house and that he's got his eye on a twenty million dollar place called La Villa Serena.

We're not sure why the filthy rich Girls Gone Wild guy would want or need a new house in LaLa Land given that he already owns a massive manse on Bel Air Place right next door to legendary Hollywood hottie Zsa Zsa Gabor. Maybe he needs a nearby place to put up a bunch of barely legal boobie baring sorority gurls gone wild?

4.
Earlier this week we all spent considerable time poring over the fabulous floor plan for Bill and Tina Flaherty's drool worthy doo-plex penthouse at Manhattan's Rosario Candela designed 1040 Fifth Avenue that recently landed on the market with an asking price of $43,000,000.

A helpful young man we'll call Tricky Dick thought the children might enjoy a look-see at the original floor plan for the penthouse (below) that was published in Andrew Alpern's book The New York Apartment Houses of Rosario Candela and James Carpenter.

The children will note that the original floor plan included three bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms plus a full complement of staff rooms surrounding the kitchen and pantry.

5.
Although she's yet to find anyone willing to actually buy the place, Your Mama hears from more than one well connected real estate source that our favorite Oscar nominated nut job Sharon Stone leased out the real estate white elephant on N. Beverly Drive that she bought, never moved into and has been trying to sell for nearly two damn years even though the asking price has been reduced from $12,500,000 to $10,000,000. We understand that Miz Stone is getting about thirty-five grand a month for the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom compound, an amount which probably just about covers the bills for her, uhm, dermatologist.

6.
Another helpful and generous reader took the time to scan and email Your Mama the original floor plan for the Samuel Goldwyn Jr. mansion (below) that recently hit the market with an asking price of $24,000,000. The floor plan was included in a book called Residential Architecture in Southern California.

Until one of Your Mama's little spies gets into the house, we won't know if the floor plan remains the same as was originally built, but the children will note that when the house was completed in 1934 the master suite encompassed and entire wing of the second floor and included a sitting room, a large dressing room, two bathrooms, city view terraces and a large sleeping porch, a dee-lishusly practical feature for dealing with the scorching heat of Southern California back in the days before air conditioning.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Friday afternoon mish mash ?

Move to a better place. I here right now the waves crushing with classical music in the background and a nice white wine in Europe.

Anonymous said...

must be hear

TheVinylVillager said...

The Goldwyn floor plan seems to be lacking very little that todays buyer would expect...

and Mr. COO is nuts. I can hardly believe that house would fetch 19 million...the front approach looks like someone took any national builder tract McMansion and slapped some cedar shingles on it.

bentley said...

Back to bed, honey, it's Thursday!

Thanks for feeding us when you're all sick-like, Mama. You're a keeper.

Anonymous said...

What's up with the NOD on the former Harry Warner mansion in Hancock Park?

Anonymous said...

Get well soon Mama! Gramma always said a little hot toddy was just the trick for what ails you - a little bourbon, splash of water, and a good bit of fresh sqouzed lemon.

Anonymous said...

I do not think that Joe Francis owns the Pacific Palisades home anymore at 1639 San Onofre (http://www.movielanddirectory.com/star.cfm?star=211920). He sold it to NBA coach Rudy Tomjanovic in early 2007, and then he turned around and sold it to someone named Steven Bardack later in the year of 2007. Unless Bardack is a rep of Joe Francis and he bought the house back from Rudy, Francis no longer owns in Pacific Palisades peoperty. According to MovielandDirectory.com, he had the home built in 2003, but never lived there because he moved into the monster on Bel Air Place.

Your Mama said...

oh shit child, you are correct. we were looking at a records database that was a little out of date.

we've fixed the error. thanks.

Anonymous said...

You floor plan junkies MUST get that Alpern book. (It's Alpern, Mama, not Halperin:))

And I swear, I'm not him...I've mentioned his books before, but for anyone who's into floor plans like these, his books are great, especially the one Mama referenced.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Joe Francis wants to forget about that nasty bit of home invasion business that happened in his Bel Air home a couple of years back.

Anonymous said...

i agree. the videos the perps took of him in compromising positions are outrageous.

Bigdaddyj said...

If Scumbag Francis' current residence is that enourmous, rounded/partially circular place at the end of Bel Air place just above the Gabor/Prinze Von A-hole place, then I would think that the "La Villa Serena" purchase would definitely indicate downsizing on Mr. Francis' part, both in sheer home size and (IMO) neighborhood...hmm, perhaps all those lawsuits and unpaid markers at the Wynn in Las Vegas are finally catching up with the sleazeball pornographer after all?

lil' gay boy said...

But Maaa-maaa! You can't get sick! Who's gonna feed us lil' chilruns our daily real estate porn? Get into bed now with a hot water bottle and a brandy or two and let the ol' Coot, um, I mean Daddy Dearest 'whip' you back into shape……("But you ARE, Blanche, you ARE!")

1) From Mama's mouth to God's ears; she was right again…

2) He's a pig; did we not see his Lloyd Harbor manse(s)?

3) He's a pig too, although a horse of a different color (mixed barnyard metaphor). And that so-called "villa"; to quote Audrey fforbes Hamilton from To The Manor Born, "How very vulgar."

4) Each servant's room had its own basin; how very white shoe as opposed to "blue blood"; I wonder where the backstairs led to?

5) Don't you mean gynecologist?

6) Seems like a very International Style floorplan concealed in a formal envelope. And worth a hell of a lot more than Gregory's-by-the-Sea, albeit with a somewhat impoverished view when compared to 200' of beachfront; but oh, the provenance…

brooklawn drive said...

Hi!! I don't know if you read the comments section, but it would be nice to have an ocassional update post from you on previous properties you've show cased. Like the Saperstien pile....did it sell?, any nibbles??

But I absolutely adore your site.

E.J. said...

Bel Air Place has some interesting residents. Quincy Jones owns two lots (1100 & 1101) and just below Francis (1111) is Elon Musk (1105), a really interesting entrepreneur who founded Paypal and is the investor behind (allegedly destroying) a $150,000 sports car called the Tesla. He bought the house from another big entrepreneur, Scott Painter.

Anonymous said...

i believe joe's is 1101.

Anonymous said...

who owns this??

E.J. said...

According to property records Joe's in 1111 and Quincy Jones owns 1100 and 1101... ?

StPaulSnowman said...

Audrey Forbes Hamilton is the thinking man's Madonna. How great to see her referenced in this setting. Bravinger has the dream job!

Anonymous said...

I am floor plan junkie, and your web site is like heaven to me. Thank you thank you thank you!

Anonymous said...

I've actually been in La Villa Serena and it truly is amazing. Once you get past the long windy narrow road to get there the feel of the house is actually very warm for a home with such high ceilings. Views are to die for. Perfect for a Joe Francis type to hide his vulgar parties from the rest of the world.. Pretty secluded.