Saturday, August 9, 2008

Money Bags Mariah Does It Again in the Hamptons

RENTER: Mariah Carey
LOCATION: Cedar Street, East Hampton, NY
PRICE: $125,000 (per week)
SIZE: (approx.) 18,000 square feet, 10 bedrooms, 12.5 bathrooms

(Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter made the in hindsight unwise decision to push on past Chicago and have found ourselves in some forsaken highway town in Illinois where our only choices for sustenance are Mack-Donalds, some place called Quiznos, the food section of Wal-Mart or the 24-hour no-name strip joint next door to our tawdry (but surprisingly clean) hooker hotel. People with two long bodied bitches named Linda and Beverly and a hoss-tile pussycat named Sugar can't be beggars when it comes to road side lodging, can they? We just feel lucky to have access to the interweb. Anyhoo...)

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In case anyone has forgotten, renting a huge house in the Hamptons is expensive. Crazy expensive. Just ask money bags Mariah Carey who–according to celebrity real estate columnist Braden Keil at the NY Post–forked out a bank account busting $125,000 to lease Stone Meadow Farm in hoity toity East Hampton. That's $125,000 for just one week, children.

According to listing information provided to Your Mama by Chatty Charlie, Miss Muh-rye-uh's temporary digs spread across 8 acres and includes an (approx.) 18,000 square foot house with 10 bedrooms and 12.5 bathrooms, enough terlits that Miss Mariah will never have to use the same one twice if she don't feel like it.

In addition to the finished lower level that includes a spa and media room, the property includes a gym, swimming pool, tennis court, a stable for up to 5 horses, rolling lawns, fenced riding fields and two separate guest houses where Miss Mariah can house her body shaper, hair dresser, spray on tan technician, nail gurl and clothing coordinator.

The children will recall that last summer She of the Streetwalker Wardrobe spent a reported $350,000 to lease Tommy Hilfiger's ocean front flip property on swanky Further Lane in East Hampton for a month (it has since been sold).

As far as Your Mama knows, Miss Mariah's only real estate holdings include a triplex condo in TriBeca and a newly purchased hideaway in the Bahamas. However, should the Grammy Goddess choose to add to her property portfolio and put down some roots at Stone Meadow Farm (which Your Mama highly doubts she will), the never lived in estate is also available for purchase with an asking price of $19,995,000. If Your Mama's gin soaked and road trip ravaged mind serves correct–and it may not so don't any of you pee-pole quote us–the Cedar Street estate has been for sale for a looong time.

This is not real estate related, but sometimes Your Mama can't help but to offer some unsolicited and bitchy advice: Listen Madam Butterfly, whomever you are paying the big bucks to hem your minis into micro-minis and tell you that you look fabulous is only doing it for the paycheck. Hunny pleeze, That two-bit whore look is done played out and you are too rich, too talented and too damn old to be dressing like this. Think about it.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking time to post an article Mama. Mariah would have invented the word 'swank' if it didn't already exist, I swear.

Try the Quiznos subs. They are better than your average sub, assuming the small town you're in makes them as well as the city I'm in. My personal fav is the prime rib one, yum.

Be safe and drive carefully :)

Anonymous said...

According to my not-so-bejeweled HP-17BII, she could buy the place and only be out $6,730.40 per week year-round.

theflyingdutchman said...

That's one lovely house. Of course the inside needs personalization but that's because it's a rental. The gym is great... for posers since it looks quite underequipped.

Have fun with your road trip Mama. Not staying in Chicago is definitely the right choice. When on a road trip you are supposed to do unplanned things and get into weird and ridiculous situations. Go and get yourself some Quiznos (although I'm quite sure there are a bunch of them in Manhattan) and enjoy the journey.

Anonymous said...

That place needs some sisals. Enjoy the local color Mama. I'm sure your menangerie has more teeth than the town you're in.

StPaulSnowman said...

OK.......what do we know so far? It sounds like the whole fam damnily is on the road from east to west. We do not know whether this is a move or a late summer vacation. Little has been said about the destination dwelling. I am betting that if this were a permanent move, Mama would have been really jazzed at the prospect of real estate shopping and would have waxed rhapsodic about a new house. But we also know that M&Dr.C often fly to California so this is probably not a jet fuel surcharge related mode of travel. I am betting on this being a short term move so that Mama can film some sort of entertainment program and she is under contractual agreement not to tell even her children. I guess we will all have to wait in tortured quandry........I can't even enjoy the Olympics with all this distraction. I wonder if LGB is in the trunk?

Anonymous said...

LOVE Mariah. Let her be as tacky as she wants, she is beautiful, talented, and has earned it.

so_chic_darling said...

Mariah is all flash and trash and she would probably have the whole place painted bright pink just for the week. I have to say that I love her for making all that money and spending it on whatever nonsense she wants, after all is that not the American dream? Anyway without her sort of taste it might be harder to define good taste as one always needs a barometer doesn't one?

Anonymous said...

I know the house and the builder - the house is nice, property beautiful but the area that it is in is not a swanky part of EH by any means. It's not a 19mil neighborhood (*cough*)not by 17-18mil, it's not So. of the Hwy and it's right by the high school bus depot.

And it's a back road - so there's a lot of traffic but the house is well set back on the property.

Flora said...

Back up a bit. Is that a Wrought Iron BEDSTEAD I see peeking through the double sliding doors at the end of the KITCHEN??? What kind of a crazy layout does this house have?

luke220 said...

No chandelier in the dining room? I hope she brings a lot of candles.

Sandpiper said...

Mama, as a girl, according to my anatomy calculations, that hemline is within a 1/16th inch of serious embarrassment. That's just plain tacky.

Anonymous said...

any shorter and she would have to hold it in place with bobby pins!

Sandpiper said...

Hi 6:45...that's gotta be one of the funniest comebacks ever to grace Mama's comments. Took a second to get it. Then I laughed to the point of tears.

Chris said...

$125,000 a week is 6.5 million a year in rent. That for a house worth, at best, 20 million? Of course the rental is seasonal, but still....
There are lots of great restaurants in Chicago, but do go at least once to the dining room of the Drake: truly old fashioned class there.

Anonymous said...

Mama does "sass" not "class"

Anonymous said...

Her apartment is pretty tasteful, for her. Very understated.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this diva. She dresses pretty bad, but still has #1 albums. She's doing something right. She's the only singer from 20 years ago still relevant today. NO ONE else is. She must be doing something right. I like how all the people who judge her don't have $400M in the bank as well.

Anonymous said...

The outside looks like crap, but the interiors are wonderful.

Georgette said...

The La Quinta chain usually accepts dogs and such and isn't a hooker hotel, to my knowledge. When we moved two years ago, we stayed at a LQ in Grants Pass, OR, and our dog and cat slept with us in the room.

I'd steer clear of some of the Quiznos offerings - I tried a beef sandwich that was a "hot" sandwich, and the meet tasted "old".

fairfield girl said...

It's about time! Some Hamptons goodnes.

fairfield girl said...

er rather goodness.

aunt mary said...

Mama, where the hell are you? And where are you going? It sounds like the Ingels family on the wagon trail on Little House on the Prairie. Honey, just a tip. The midwest doesn't do "fancy" but they do "clean", so you'll be ok. I read there was a big oil boom in a little town in North Dakota. Everybody is making millions. Are you and the good doctor going there to set up shop? You could put up a shingle "Psychiatry and Decorating Advice. No Appointment Necessary". In my little town we have a pair of brothers who are neurosurgeons. They drive pickups. On the side of the truck is the sign, "Brain Surgery and Light Hauling".

michael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michael said...

Glad Mama had the time of her roadtrip to post this.

Re: the house being on a "back road," the road it's on is not exactly a back road, its one of the best ways to get into town. Busy for the hamptons is not busy for the rest of us, the most cars I see pass when I drive down is maybe 3 or 4. And that includes holiday weekends, compared to Main St. or Newtown Ln.

I agree the house is overpriced, it will sell for 17.5-18 max.

michael said...

Oh and Flora, dont worry, the picture of the kitchen that Mama put up is one of the two guest houses. The main kitchen has a large island with Carrara marble counters, a 6 burner Wolf range, and glass faced Sub Zero fridge.

Flora said...

Thank you Michael, now I can sleep in peace knowing all is well.

E.J. said...

I'm probably just jealous of her and her money but I am seriously sex of self-absorbed people like her. She is the Queen of Her Own Importance and I find her classless and just plain boring. Just my opinion so don't get your panties in a bunch defending her. She has contributed nothing to the world except some forgettable music. Hell, even Oprah built a school in Africa - though I'm still not sure why $40MM didn't buy more in the desert, but anyway - though she forgot that whole "be careful who you hire" thing that's kind of front and center for business and schools here. But I digress. The fact that Caray would even consider paying $125K a week for a house with no view - except for the school bus depot - reminds me of something my Uncle David used to say; "I can't fix stupid."

E.J. said...

"Seriously sex?" Freudian I suppose. Meant "seriously sick." I have issues.

Anonymous said...

The interiors of this place are nice. I bet she only rents/leases these summer places because she likes the variety. Who knows. I hope she's giving some money to some good social justice programs/projects. Who am I kidding?

lil' gay boy said...

*hmmmph*……*hmmmph*……*hmmmph*

*……can't……breathe……*

lil' gay boy said...

Seriously, though, I am not in the trunk (or the closet, for that matter…)

>8-}

Mama's last missive indicated a definite change of abode, albeit indeterminate as to whether or not it is permanent.

House is lovely but I doubt its never been lived in; this aerial photo seems to indicate that there was an existing house that is in mid-construction, being more than doubled in size (don't know the date this was taken).

But isn't it odd that Miss Thang always vaca's by the sea where the mammals that can hear her best, namely dolphins, are always close by?

StPaulSnowman said...

LGB.........Ya know I was just a'joshin about the trunk, don't ya? From your comments, I suspect your "tap root" is deep into New York soil.

Fabulously Lizy said...

Love Mariah. Can't stand the way she dresses, don't think she has much fashion sense. But she is a diva in every sense of the word. And I love how she sings...

That said, love the house =)

www.fabulouslylizy.com

Anonymous said...

she maintains camp mariah in fishkill, NY for inner NYC kids.

that girl said...

I know I'm a little late on this comment (been working far too much lately) but can I just say, Aunt Mary, you are a delight! If you're a published writer - and I suspect you might be - please do share w/ the rest of the children.
Meanwhile, best of luck w/ your roadtrip, Mama. Sorry to hear you bypassed Chicago. Try to avoid the junk food - it really does go right to the thighs. I'd recommend the weak coffee instead.

Anonymous said...

No! Serge goes right to your thighs

WinstonC said...

Thought Mariah had a place on Capri?

Anonymous said...

Floor Plans here:
http://www.myhamptonhomes.com/media/stonemeadowfarm-floorplans.pdf

Anonymous said...

Pretty property. Can't say the same about the overrated renter, though. lol.

Feather said...

haha 'she of the streetwalker wardrobe'
F&Z re-dressed MC here, because she needed it:
http://featherandzephyr.blogspot.com/2008/08/celeb-id-like-to-dressmariah-carey-vs.html
Thanks - love seeing her houses.
xxF

Anonymous said...

RC helicopters might be amongst the most fascinating radio controlled models, however, one undeniable fact still stands against it; they make more noise and create more pollution than a breaking down truck. This makes flying around the neighborhood almost impossible. According to Streamlight Chief Operating Officer Ray Sharrah, the new and improved lights offer both longevity and power. led flashlights are becoming increasingly popular with industrial professionals because of their long life span, extreme durability and their usefulness for close up work, such as reading a serial number or repairing equipment under low light conditions, said Sharrah. For professionals who favor incandescent flashlights, the 2AA ProPolymer which features a super-bright Xenon bi-pin bulb has been improved with convenient, single-handed operation, he added.
Our experiences are tied to real products being used by real people, cheap video gamesaid Alex Cavalla, IC2's deputy director. We have seen the power of using the right kind of tools -- in this case, games -- in the right types of situations, to create real change.