Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Ellen Does it Three Times On Cabrillo Drive

While visiting the left coast last week, a good lookin' and well built acquaintance of Your Mama's whispered in our big ol' ear that he heard through the gurl gossip grapevine that talk show titan Ellen Degeneres and gal pal Portia Di Rossi had scooped up a third property on Cabrillo Drive (shown above).

And you know what children? Our little talkative tipster was correct. A peek into the property records reveals that the lesbian lovebirds–who are bizzy as beavers planning their upcoming big gay wedding–did indeed recently close on the last piece of the Cabrillo Drive real estate puzzle that will allow the Sapphic sisters to request permission from the city of Bev Hills to gate the entire damn street and provide them with the perfectly private lesbian lair they've long craved.

Let's recap: First the couple forked over a mind numbing and jaw dropping 29 and some million clams in a private deal for Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick's recently built house that measures 8,500+ square feet and includes a detached guest house and staff quarters located under the infinity edge swimming pool. Yes children, under. Miz Moneybags quickly whirled around and spent another $8,500,000 to buy the 4,580 square foot house across the tiny street that was owned by celebrity real estate agent Jade Mills which Miz D and Missus dR tore down tout de suite.

Miz Degeneres then set her real estate sights on the third and final house on Cabrillo Drive and because money talks she was able to convince the long time owners to sell. Records to not indicate what Miz Degeneres paid for the third property that sits below the two other properties on a hair pin turn, but what is clear is that she has spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $40,000,000 for her Bev Hills compound, a massive and perhaps even masochistic amount of money for these three properties.

Your Mama can't help but wonder if the gurls plan on using the 2,785 square foot house with 1 bedroom and 3 bathrooms as another guest house, staff accommodations, converting it into a security center/gate house or if they'll tear the bitch down and cantilever a tennis court out over the canyon. With this peripatetic pair, one never knows what pricey and privacy making plans they have up their real estate sleeves.

Whatever the case Your Mama asks, pleads and begs that none of you moe-rons get the not very wise idea to motor your automobiles up Cabrillo Drive. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Not only would that be stoopid, but you're likely to get a wicked and well deserved ass pounding by one of Miz D and Missus dR's beefy security goons.

34 comments:

lil' gay boy said...

More power to her; money talks, bullshit walks.

I'm sure she did right by the owners to get what she wanted, without resorting to guerrilla tactics to get them to fold. Can you say neighbors from hell?

How nice to have money and make it work for you to create a private compound.

StPaulSnowman said...

With all this land, she will have plenty of room to start a puppy mill and really piss off the pet adoption harpies. Let's hope she and the "little lady" are as happy as clams in their pricey,private, real estate womb.....ironic that it is financed by the fans who would love to be closer to the Ellen.

Anonymous said...

Ain't nobody gettin' an "Ass Pounding".

theflyingdutchman said...

My favorite real estate lezzie. Can't wait to see what this crazy woman is up to.

Alessandra said...

I want to be Ellen and Portia's Realtor. Good for them.

Anonymous said...

I just read this morning that they are planning a big wedding to be held at the Riviera in Palm Springs.

bentley said...

Man, I love Ellen.

I also think her house is one of the best I've seen, Mama. Love it.

Rich is great. Famous seems scary, invasive and unsettling. I'd do the exact same thing.

Her fans are close to her where they should be: in the studio. They should be nowhere near her home.

Mar said...

For me she's become a little sanctimonious (I guess all successful talk show hosts are prone to that, unfortunately), but her heart is in the right place. That's for sure.

sandpiper said...

Carpe diem. There was truely no low road to Ms. D's success. I don't know their lifestyle and it doesn't matter. Who gives a s*it. Rock on. I think it's great.

Viva! said...

Like lil' gay boy said:

Money Talks and Bullshit Walks!

Good for Ellen! Cabrillo Drive just got a lot more exclusive!

Anonymous said...

I don't think they can close the road. They would have to buy the house at the bottom corner of Cabrillo, since the garage and driveway dump on Cabrillo Dr.

Check the "street view" out in Google Earth or maps to verify.

Any bets that they buy that one next?

Ruby Jackson said...

Meow! Good pussy!

Anonymous said...

Don't drive on a public street for fear of a well deserved ass pounding? Huh? Apparently, the Bush doctrine aimed at denying the constitutionality of the Constitution is taking hold. Scary stuff there Mama.

lil' gay boy too said...

hmmm ... where do i sign up for the ass pounding?

can Bentley be involved?

average joe said...

I bet with a few improvements the compound will be back on the market next year......

the asking price ???????

200 MM

Polly said...

Somebody tell Casey Serin to go away.

Anonymous said...

"hmmm ... where do i sign up for the ass pounding?"

Oh man, That's killer!

With all the popularity of Ellen on here, would anyone be interested in buying an Autographed copy of her book? My Mom's husband won a chance to meet her and died about 2 months before it happened. It was a sad event, and she sent an autographed book to the family for condolences. My mom gave it to me, and there isn't much I am going to do with it. The book is in mint condition. The autograph isn't personalized to the family. It is just a good clean signing on the inside front cover.

E.J. said...

Mama my friend, you know I say this with the utmost respect for your work and our friendship, but why do you insist on telling morons not to drive by the houses. That's the point of the interest in real estate. To see it. And to see Ellen lounging by the pool in the... no, maybe not that.

I find the whole Garbo "I want to be alone" thing really tiring. "Don't take my picture," covering their faces, etc., WHILE THEY WALK INTO IBY OR NOBU? Please. Although I'd like to thank the skanky Olson twins (went to school with my neice and nephew at Campbell Hall) for covering up their faces. I REALLY don't want to see them. Ever.

I've been researching Hollywood addresses, locations, etc., for 25 years and have a database of about 65,000 listings. It's history, Mama. What I write about. And it's interesting to a lot of people. That why people like you and I have blogs. Of course, only 10 people visit mine.

My friend Scott Michaels told me once there's a great way for these people to stay out of the public eye and out of their interest; "DON'T GET FAMOUS." Right, wrong or otherwise, it's interesting to see where "they" live, play, etc.

I'm certainly not espousing knocking on the doors but I tell anyone, "Go ahead. Drive by. See what it looks like. So what if you can only see a gate." If people want seclusion, move to Wyoming.

So go ahead, cruise Cabrillo Drive. No gates, no problem.

Bring the goons some donuts.

TBD said...

Infinity pool? I thought there was a wall around it. Am I missing something?

luke220 said...

EJ,

How do we find your blog? It sounds fascinating.

And what can you tell us about the new owners of Dorothy Chandler's house in Hancock Park? They may not be celebrities, but it is a celebrity house.

E.J. said...

Luke,

The website is at www.movielanddirectory.com. Mama put a link early on; it's up there somewhere. It's an address/location site with about about 30,000 addresses; my brother (who does all things web-related) will be doing a massive upload of the updated list (65,000 right now) after summer trips back to Boston later in August probably. There's also a blog link at TMD but I'm not as good as I should at adding.

The only Buffy Chandler house I have is on Lorraine. If that's the one I don't know much about it other than that Louis Stone lived there in the 1940s. But in a weird coincidence I met her son, who's a very nice surgeon who let a group of us tour his house on Club View Drive that Jean Harlow owned in the 1930's.

Thanks.

lil' gay boy said...

E.J.,

I've always loved your site.

luke220 said...

Thank you, E.J.!

E.J. said...

Thanks everyone for the kudos for the TMD site. It will be wild with the whole 65,000. August. Any questions about houses or such before then feel free to email me at flemingiv@aol.com. Thanks again.

E.J.

Anonymous said...

e.j., great site. How do you search for people with just a single name, like Cher? Just for grins I used her name to test your site's search feature, and got 0 results.

average joe said...

It is not the goons you have to worry about

It is the police....

I usually call them when someone I do not know or like rings my gate.

They could be someone I screwed over a long time ago coming back with a gun to get me, they could be a fan, an ex employee

and......

I am not going to get caught up in a lawsuit just because my security guys smacked someone around a little who did not know any better.

When the police show up, if the person is still there they usually get arrested and have to post bail.

Did you really think the police would show up for free ???

My advice on knocking on those doors and gates of the estates, homes and compounds of the rich and famous when you are not supposed to ???

DON'T !!!!!!

That is unless you have 1500 to post for bail and another 3000 for a lawyer.

Repeat offenders usually receive jail time with the urchins of the greater LA.

Anonymous said...

I love ringing the doors bells and just make an excuse " I am the call girl you rang for. Do I have the wrong address?? Sorry!"

Anonymous said...

9:41pm, This is the house opposite where Ellen's garage and gate dump onto Cabrillo. Cabrillo used to go up the east side of her house to a rear motor court, passing by the 2nd house that has already been torn down.

I still am not convinced Ellen would be able to close the entire street as technically Cabrillo is the "back alley" running along the rear property line of 4 houses that front Coldwater Canyon. If I were one of those homeowners, I would at least insist on an easement so that if I wanted gardeners to access my back yard from Cabrillo, I would still be able. Plus it appears there is at least one lot on the northwest side of Cabrillo.

Not saying it is impossible, but seems to me Ellen isn't finished with that checkbook if she wants to make it happen.

Anonymous said...

RE: the Bush doctrine aimed at denying the constitutionality of the Constitution is taking hold. Scary stuff there Mama.

LOL Do you really think Bush would help the Hollywood elite do what they want while they bash him? Seems a bit odd case of Bush Derangement Syndrome you have.

Anonymous said...

8:04, Bush and yourself and his few other (rapidly dwindling) supporters have the derangement syndrome apparently. It was a play on a theme, not to be taken literally. Of course Bush isn't helping the Hollywood elite. He only has eyes for his wealthy corporatist friends who formed his policies to continually enrich themselves at the rest of the country's expense.

Anonymous said...

Word has it that the wedding will take place at Cabrillo. Taking bets that the big E will blow up Lago Vista for entertainment before kissing the bride. The joke is that the whole compound is only worth about $20 million. And she'll be toast anyway in other year. Her nice guy routine is running really thin.

Chris said...

What a NAUSEATING instance of selfish excess when millions are starving around the world. The spectacle of these ditzy nothing-specials splurging on real estate like Arab potentates (also amoral and disgusting) boggles the mind and the spirit. It is obscene that our society and economy allow so much to go to such trivial, undeserving zeros. We need radical change in the US and we need it NOW. Vote Obama for a start.

caveman said...

well you convinced me, obama is black gold, texas tea, as soon as he's elected, i'm moving to beverly, hills that is, swimming pools, movie stars...
can't wait to spend me some ellen g money, hot dang!

Anonymous said...

"Her nice guy routine is running really thin."

YEAH! She's only been successful at it for....15+ YEARS. It has to be an act! She couldn't actually be a NICE person!

Seriously, I don’t get the animosity on this board. What has Ellen ever done to any of you? Or is it just that you are jealous of the lady (yes, I have met her and she is a true *lady* which is more than I can say about many of you bitches)? She buys nice real estate. She donates to charities. She has a beautiful partner. She has a cool mom. I guess she does give you a lot to be jealous of.

GEEZ.