Thursday, July 17, 2008

Kelsey Grammer Flips Out in the Holmby Hills

SELLER: Kelsey and Camille Grammer
LOCATION: Baroda Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $19,900,000
SIZE: 7 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Stunning Country English estate located in the heart of Holmby Hills. Situated on almost one flat acre this newly remodeled home features 7 beds and 9 baths. Features a dramatic living room, media room, dining room, a gourmet kitchen that opens to the family room, a gym and much more. Outdoors you find a sparkling pool, large motor court, and a sprawling grassy yard with secluded walls. This is a spacious family home that is ultimately the picture of perfection and sheer elegance.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Like Your Mama has said 40,000 times or more...one of the many ways the rich get even richer is by flipping dee-luxe domiciles at outrageous and unimaginable profits and that's what Emmy winning boob-toob veteran Kelsey Grammer (Cheers, Frazier) and his slim hipped and big boobed wifey Camille are doing with a freshly rehabbed house they recently flipped back onto the market with an asking price of $19,900,000.

It was only in September of 2007, after renovating and selling a big house on Bel Air Road to Salma Hayek and that filthy rich French guy she's having babies with, that prop records and reports reveal that Kelse and Cammy spent $13,700,000 to buy this 10,567 square foot house on Baroda Drive that sits on nearly an acre of desirable dirt in the hotsy-totsy Holmby Hills from baking soda heir Michael Hammer.

A few clicks and clacks on our trusty but well worn bejeweled abacus and we see that Kelse and Cammy are preparing to pocket a whopping $6,200,000 on their high-priced flip after owning the place less than one year. Yes children, Your Mama is quite certain the ex-convict and the ex-nood model forked over plenty of pretty pennies to do up the day-core with all manner of wacky wallpaper, expensive tile treatments and champagne colored everything, but six million and some smackers? In less than a year? Pleeze.

Listen hunnies, don't misunderstand Your Mama here because even though we are bothered, betwixt and outraged by the audacity of the mammoth mark-up, we'd still bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that some dumb ass dude with buckets of money and a plastic enhanced wife who yearns to procreate with her dumb ass rich dude will come along in a giant Mercedes and think nothing of filling Kelse and Cammy's pockets with wads of cash and screams of real estate delight and satisfaction. Such is the state of the stratospheric end of the property market because, apparently, if you can spend in excess of fifteen million dollars on a new and improved nest you simply don't care that the sellers are making millions flipping the property over in less than one year.

Anyhoo, listing information indicates that in addition to the seven bedrooms and nine terlit rooms, the sprawling "English Country" style residence includes an impressive 7 fireplaces, one of which is in the carpeted gym. Now children, Your Mama likes to warm our tootsies by a blazing fire as much as the next person, but does anyone really need or want to set a romantic mood while sweating to the oldies with Richard Simmons in their home gym? Not anyone Your Mama knows.

Other features in Kelse and Cammy's dee-luxe flip include intricate parquet floors, heavy beamed ceilings, more Palladian style French doors than Your Mama cares to count, gigantic dual bathrooms and dressing rooms in the master, a gor-may kitchen that looks hideously expensive but strangely unfinished (shouldn't there be something on either side of the range hood?), and a media room with a built-in bookshelves and a built in bar which will surely please all the wealthy booze hounds who come over for movie night. Behind the high hedges and the two imposing drive gates (in and out, natch), the grounds include a tight circular drive, a large motor court with covered parking for at least 4 cars, a vine wrapped covered terrace overlooking the serene swimming pool and a large lawn area where the pooches can do their dirty bizness without mucking up the stone patios.

It makes Your Mama's head spin like that poor devil possessed gurl in The Exorcist just to think of organizing a definitive catalog of all the high priced properties Mister Grammer has bought and sold over the years, so we'll just tell you what we recall off the top of our gin soaked head:

1. As far as we know, the Grammer clan's West Coast home base is in Malee-boo where they own a 6,645 square foot house on a 4.77 acre spread in the Serra Retreat which records show he purchased in 1998 for $4,500,000

2. In June of 2007, Kelse and Cammy flipped a big and beautiful house on Bel Air Road to Salma Hayek and that French guy.

3. In 2004, Mister and Missus Grammer spent $17,500,000 to buy a Beverly Park behemoth that he sold in early 2006 for $22,000,000, a substantial profit considering the house was newly built when they bought it.

4. The property rich pair have been trying to off load their house in hoity toity Bridgehampton, NY for quite some time. The Morgan Hill Way manse was listed at $16,100,000, but as far as we know it has yet to find a buyer.

5. The couple has long owned property in Hawaii and although we've read that Mister Grammer recently re-cooperated from a mild heart attack at their Hawaiian hideaway, we're not really sure where it is...and frankly, we don't really care.

5. There are several if not many other properties owned by Mister Grammer including an 8,230 square foot house on Tall Timber Road in Avon, CO and a 118+ acre parcel somewhere in Delaware. Yes children, Delaware.

Phew!

57 comments:

StPaulSnowman said...

Hey Mama why diss Delaware?.......it was good enough for the Duponts! The house under consideration suffers from rampant beamophilia in a desperate attempt to look English while the wallpapers must have come from Mr. Kelsey's psychodelic period.......happily, I can't tell from the photos if they are accented by metallic foil. A taste biopsy is clearly indicated.

Alessandra said...

I like, love, adore and covet the dual master baths. Otherwise, I find the house to be just like any other boring mega-mansion of its time. As much as I like Holmby Hills, I wouldn't spend $19mm for this.

Anonymous said...

Kelsey & Camille are in danger of turning into Ellen & P if they don't slow down on the real estate toilings in the future.

This house is very lackluster, especially for nearly $20mm. The kitchen does look oddly unfinished to me as well, I never quite understood the idea of not installing upper cabinetry, which the kitchen (atleast from the photos) appears to have absolutely none.

The wall paper is just horrific as well as the "beamophobia" this house suffers from.

I doubt it will sell anytime soon for this price. There are far better LA digs to pick up in this price range. But who knows, some dumb@$$ with a big boobed wifey could shock us all and dare I say it... pay full price????

Anonymous said...

Okay... that Luxury Property Blog SUCKS ASS!!!

THey posted a big expose today talking about how Mama is broke.... Psssh. who even reads their pathetic version of a blog anyways?

http://blog.luxuryproperty.com/your-mama-realestalker-celebrity-real-estate-blogger-is-broke-pornograpky-advertisemen/

Anonymous said...

OMG, the wallpaper in that one bathroom (not the one w/ the garish circles...the one to the left) is the most GOD-AWFUL crap I've ever seen in my life. I think it's an ugly house.

Anonymous said...

I think the kitchen is supposed to look that way. Like it is furniture, not built in cabinetry.

It isn't my taste (nothing about the house is).

Anon 7:17, that's a pretty big compliment to say they could turn into the next Ellen & Portia. E&P are some saavy RE ladies to say the least.

floridazephyr said...

Mama..........you got sum splainin to doo!

StPaulSnowman said...

I was surprised to see the porn surfing add here too.

Anonymous said...

It seems a bit remiss (& more than a bit stupid) not to mention the extent & cost of recent improvements when calculating "profits". Oops! Didn't know about them? Doesn't say much for your "research". Aesthetic critique aside, when taking into account the cost of improvements, broker's commissions, & the possibility that the house may not sell for full asking price, black can turn into red very quickly.
I hope you like your job, but yuck! I feel like taking a shower after commenting on your blog!

so_chic_darling said...

Anon 9.47 please don't comment or start your own fucking blog. What cost of recent improvements? The kind of wallpaper that strippers pick out can't cost all that much can it?

so_chic_darling said...

Oh and I've said it before I'm from the English countryside and there is nothing in any county of England that looks anything like this and there never was.

so_chic_darling said...

Dear luxury property blog you are one uptight bitch! What's wrong with porn?

Anonymous said...

the Grammer powder rooms COULD BE A PORN set. Death to luxury property blog, god save the queen; YOUR MAMA!
20 million? only if your mail order Russian bride LOVES it!

lil' gay boy said...

A appallingly grisly remodel that turned out to be one big pile of sorta…

Like the sorta gen-yoo-ine off-scale beams in too many rooms;

And the oddly placed kitchen range that sorta resembles a Druid altar;

Not to mention the sorta beehive fireplace in the gym with a medieval-looking block & tackle thingie over it that is about as English as my Aunt Lolita (kinky…);

Topped off with too much beige & white with no artwork to speak of to relieve it, accented with sorta nauseating psycho wallpaper in les bains.

At $19.9M, it's sorta too much money, even for Holmby Hills, which is a shame, because it did look promising from the air.

Anonymous said...

Not my style, nor my taste, and $20 million sure dosen't buy what it used to.. sheesh. A gutsy asking price to be sure. I wonder if Anon. 9:47 is Kelsey's listing agent perhaps? I mean, who else would care enough to go off on a negative tirade like that (besides average joe). Great article Mama, thank you so much! *hugs*

lmao LGB @ "the oddly placed kitchen range that sorta resembles a Druid altar". Good one, and thanks for the link :)

Anonymous said...

http://www.barodadrive.com/

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the tour link, 11:12. It is great fun to see the inside cloes and personal. That IS staged isn't it? Looks too perfect to be lived in.

StPaulSnowman said...

Yes thanks for the link.........otherwise I would not have seen the only worthwhile element in this monstrosity..........the very beautiful La Cornue.

Flora said...

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Its a disaster.

Fabric crimes. Wallpaper crimes. Furniture and Fittings crimes.
Paving crimes. Crimes of layout, crimes of colour, crimes of carpet, of fireplaces, of tiling, of mirrors, of chimney stacks, of fenestration, and just about everything else on offer.

I hate it all. No, I take that back. I might salvage the dining room table before bringing in the ball and chain.

Anonymous said...

I'll take the TV before Flora gets started.........

Anonymous said...

Staged within an inch of it's life. No one lives there. If it was done by a gay decorator, it was an old queen. I'm guessing more like a friend of the Grammer's who is a trophy wife/divorcee who thinks she's "good at it"

Thanks for the slide show. It isn't my taste but I can see past the decorating and wallpaper enough to see it could be a nice house. Our Mama has certainly posted worse.

so_chic_darling said...

OMFG it's NOT wallpaper it's some kind of mosaic tile. Even the round blue and green things seem to be glass tile, oh well this is what happens when you give a stripper a big budget I guess.

Anonymous said...

Go Grammer/ buy something in the 20-30$MM range......

Stpaulsnowman said...

Now children.....just for fun...........compare and contrast

//www.Knightfrank.co.uk/propertyImages/S1050439%5CCHO080158-det.pdf

Enjoy! Sorry, I don't know how to embed.

lil' gay boy said...

Flora,

You're so right; they should string yellow tape around the property…

Anonymous said...

Wow! Ed McMahon should get these two to sell his house! I know high end property is still selling, but not at a 1/3 mark-up! What a greed scam.

For the price this house has a tiny pool and no tennis court. Only the inside has been redone. Not a big investment on their part.

I thought Grammer was living on Maui the last I heard? A web search revealed he has flipped two or three houses over in Hawaii and he now owns a place in Kona on the Big Island.


All together now.
They call him flipper, flipper...

Look at that dreadful chair said...

Did some sort of ye olde times banquet hall go out of business or something? There are alot of medieval style meets Queen Anne dining chairs flooding the market these days.

Sarah said...

I love the look of the outside, but I don't like anything in the inside... too much brown too!

Polly said...

Where am I?

Anonymous said...

I am so happy our mama was beyond snarky with this one--down right mean! I am also glad that my neices and nephews were so mean too--"porn set" "that's what you get when strippers decorate"

Now, I don't have to do anything!!
What a piece of shit job, boy they stayed "true to the house" on this one. But, as Mama said, some rich peice of shit will buy it and his plastic wife will think it's lovely. I think even Larry King and his trophy have more taste than this.

Still not having to play mean in WEHO--because you all did it--Mama's Black Sheep.

Anonymous said...

My goodness, such a bunch of mean-spirited comments! Just to provide some context, this house was built in the early 1980s by Henry Mancini. Although the design attempt was for something like Country English (or French) style, I agree it comes off as not very authentic. Also, it is a very large house (over 10,000 sf) on a modest sized lot for the neighborhood (approx. 35,000 sf). The Grammer's appear to have mostly spent their flipping budget on re-decorating and replacing the tennis court with a lawn. I'd be surprised if they get $20 mil., but who can tell in today's crazy real estate market!

My Goodness, such a bunch of.... said...

Stick to flower arranging honey.

Anonymous said...

I dont think it looks bad. I mean, I rather like it. I deffinately can't afford it though. If I could I would probably try to bagain the price down some. I mean 20 million is a bit steep.

Crime Scene Investigator said...

Nobody touch anything! I have to dust down for prints.

Anonymous said...

That's not a gym; it's a white-washed dungeon.

Anonymous said...

I just deleted my bookmark to that "luxusry property" blog and I encourage all my children to do the same. Not on is he a pale imitation of the original (Our Mama), he is obviously a nasty queen. Why would he not have just contacted Mama via private email? Instead he had to make a public post saying she is "broke"?

I looked at the "about this site" page on his site and I quote -

"Mark Knowles..the world’s foremost authority on international luxury property."

Modest, isn't he?

He also writes -

“If I have made fun of your crappy youtube real estate video, feel free to contact me and ask me to remove it. Depending on how much money you have and how good your lawyer is, I will happily take it down."

I don't need to read a blog like that. Bookmark deleted. I am sorry Mama but there were two bad choices of advertising links this month. I hope you made a lot of money off him before removing his ad.

StPaulSnowman said...

Mama is a shrewd duck. She knew that the kids would be loyal to her when she accepted the ads. Everyone has a right to advertise but it doesn't take long for the "consumer" to size up the product. I just appreciate the job Mama does and enjoy most of the comments. Personally I would love to see Mama score a big advertising account with the Nice Gay Decorators of America group........lord knows she gives them, dare i say it........lip service.

Anonymous said...

Who cares how much profit he will see if he finds a buyer anywhere near asking price. There is no real value to real estate besides what someone is willing to pay.

Anon this once said...

This once I need to be an anon because the subject is way too touchy.

Sibs, this is how I responded on our dear recently former advertiser's blog.

The text:

I followed Our Mama’s realestalker.com link provided by a commenter to your URL, blog.luxuryproperty.com because I wanted to read about the unfortunate advertising mix up. How it happened remains unclear. In fairness, I feel the benefit of doubt should have prevailed in the short term.

You are an extremely informative and well versed expert in your fields of interest. However, your recent missive strikes me as inappropriate, not to mention highly unprofessional. It is my impression that going public on this issue was a sad error in judgement. You provided no benefit of a reasonable waiting period for Our Mama to receive and resolve your concern. In addition, you abused a the polite position of Mama accolades to mask a series of caddy slams. I remind you, Our Mama is fair, funny, more clever than you on your best day – and hugely successful. I remain astounded that Mama even agreed to accept your ad; so closely tied to her core demographic and substantial page visits. You were very fortunate to get a foot in her profitable door, and now you repay it with a public flogging. That’s just not right.

I am impressed by your blog’s branding tag aka advertising hook: THE MOST-VIEWED LUXURY REAL ESTATE BLOG IN THE WORLD. Your blog, which you claim ownership of, provides a direct link to a dedicated advertising rate card, complete with sales copy reinforcing this blog’s value-added audience attributes within the luxury marketing professionals sector. Congrats on this huge and impressive ranking accomplishment.

As a card carrying member of the American Marketing Association and advertising associations, with a career ethically representing major brands, my interest is piqued by your industry standing from an integrity perspective.

1. How do you measure your hits?

2. Please provide page visit rankings (matrix) including competitive sites you are ranking within and methodology EXCLUSIVELY for BLOG.LUXURYPROPERTY. Please do not incorporate ANY date from non-blog-related associated sites, specifically LUXURYPROPERTY.COM, or others not cited but implied.

2. Please provide definitive category descriptions for the blog categoties you are ranking within for BLOG.LUXURYPROPERTY.COM’s leadership rank. Please do not cloud with extraneous site visits.

3. Please provide all of the above for pre- and post-realestalker.com advertising activity.

In closing, the FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION (FTC) is very specific about an advertiser’s expressed claim, for example, THE MOST-VIEWED LUXURY REAL ESTATE BLOG IN THE WORLD. The FTC also mandates objective evidence analyzed by a reliable interpreting third party.

I look forward to your reply.

StPaulSnowman said...

Why poke a skunk? You are correct.....Mama's charm, wit and intellect will win out. The anti-Mama diatribe was a cheap shot and should have been handled privately.

so_chic_darling said...

SNAP

Littl'un said...

Maaaaaarrrrrmeeeeeee!

If you make the horrid people go away I will tell where I hid your nerve pills. Plus I'll walk Linda and Beverly up down and around the park for you. Promise.

Anonymous said...

It is a total rip off of Mama and she should get her lawyers on it.

I looked up the domain registration and found the name of the "parent company". Then looked at the "about us" page. One is a "Ms. Soiree..whose true identity must remain anonymous". "her" blog was just started in June 2008 and has a single post -

"Ms. Soiree is too busy to post on her blog. Patience is golden..."

http://www.mssoiree.com/2008/06/index.html

Copies are never as sharp or as valuable as the original. NEXT.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I did think the children would get a chuckle at this part of Miss Knowles' bio -

"Mark’s personal interests include motorcycle racing, which he discovered he was just too big and scared to succeed at"

Why do I have a mental image of a 400lb circus clown on a mini bike?

Hello dear said...

Mark Knowles also write for the "designer purse blog"
OOoooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anonymous said...

Let me guess. She shares her closet with Monica Lewinsky "designer" handbags?

Chris said...

When was the house built? During the time when Hollywood thought any and everything English was superior to plain American, even down to actor's accents? I can't imagine anything more out of place in So. California than a faux-English mansion and a bad one at that. Sutton Place it is not.

Chris said...

Big Time Listings says it was built in 1980 for Henry Mancini, the so-called composer. That would explain why it is so vulgar and tasteless.

Anonymous said...

"vulgar and tasteless" = Chris

Anonymous said...

Chris you know nothing about music or taste. Henry Mancini composed some of the most beautiful and memorable sound tracks for movies ever. Do some research doofus.

Anonymous said...

"Chris" is the same person who bitched that Ellen doesn't give to charity then got very quiet when confronted with the long list of charities Ellen supports and was asked how much he/she gives to charity. I imagine the same would happen if Chris was asked how well known he/she is as a composer....

Anonymous said...

Wow. Every room pictured gives me vertigo. I need a dramamine before I look any closer at those photos. Amazing to look at such an extravagant property I would never trade my modest home for in a million years.

Kenny said...

theres nothing special about the house which makes the asking price a bit too much. Man, Kelsey is buying and selling houses like its nothing.

feel free to visit my blog at: http://www.homesoftherich.blogspot.com

i have a contest going on

alice cooper said...

8,230 square feet! that accounts for aching feet walking around that house

Anonymous said...

Kenny, is your contest to see how many times you can post your link to your own blog without buying an ad from Our Mama?

Just ask Jackyblu and Mark Knowles what happens when you mess with Our Mama.

average joe said...

KENNY DONT DO IT. I AM CURRENTLY RECOVERING IN IBIZA, NORTH DAKOTA FROM HAVING AN OPEN HOUSE SIGN SURGICALLY REMOVED FROM MY BUTT. MAMAS CHILDREN DONT MESS AROUND.

Candy said...

Joe; Please return the sign.....I'm going to need it.