Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Morning Mish Mash

Listen my little chickadees, today is a travel day. Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are once again winging our way to the other coast for a little rest and relaxation beside Sister Cooter's cement pond so we won't be available to discuss celebrity real estate until Friday...at the earliest.

But because we don't want to leave y'all shivering and shaking like a damn junkie, we're gonna drop this mish mash on you before we jump into the back of a long black town car and head to the el aeropuerto.

Now behave. We don't want to arrive and have to hand out a smack down because y'all couldn't control your mouths.

1.
Your Mama has been plain negligent about posting an update on the Malibu estate that Californication's David Duchovny and his wifey Téa Leoni put on the market a few weeks ago...

Turns out they changed their minds. Yes puppies, that's right, they de-listed their $12,000,000 house. According to their real estate agent, the fickle minded pair changed their damn minds just a couple of short weeks after listing their Carbon Mesa Road casa.

The luverly Ann Brenoff who pens the LA Times' Hot Properties column went looking for the poop and when she asked the listing agent if the property was withdrawn due to an offer being presented, the secretive agent declined any additional comment.

So what was all that fussing and whining by the Missus 'bout the children looking sunburned and sleepy and the Missus wanting the children to go to get educated in a fancy Manhattan school? Shoot, if Your Mama were the betting type, and we're not, we'd say there surely sounds like there could more to this story than meets the ol' evil eye.

2.
Several weeks back Mister Big Time asked, "Where in the world is...Robert Downey Jr." Well children, Your Mama does not know where he is now, but we do know where he was.

Mister Big Time referenced several articles in major publications which described the location of Mister Downey Jr.'s leased home base as "at the end of a leafy cul-de-sac" and "at the end of a cul-de-sac in Brentwood." That leafy cul de sac in Brentwood is Greenock Place where Mister Downey Jr. resided in a 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom house which listing information describes as dramatic, completely private with lush landscaping and fantastic backyard with a sparkling pool.

No children, Mr. Downey Jr.'s former home is not for sale. As it turns out the 5,380 square foot contemporary has become available to lease at $12,500 per month, which indicates that Mister Downey Jr. has done decamped to new digs. In fact, Your Mama hears through the real estate gossip grapevine that the Oscar nominated actor with the troubled past recently purchased a home, but at this point it's just rumor and gossip children so don't anybody go repeating that shit like it's gospel. Seriously, for all we really know, he's sleeping up on Jack Nicholson's couch.

3.
According to the Wall Street Journal, some musician named Usher has reduced the asking price of his suburban Atlanta mansion. After raising the asking price last September from $1,950,000 to $2,300,000, the singer is now asking an even steven $2,000,000. Your Mama discussed this crib back in September of 2007

Located in the same gated golf where tabloid train wrecks Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown owned a home before they went all (allegedly) druggie and splitsville, the 8,022 square foot house includes 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, a private hair salon (natch), professional recording studio installed by previous owner, music mogul L.A. Reid.

Your Mama would feel sorry for Mister Usher, but we don't even know who he is.

4.
Your Mama is feeling in a generous mood today so we're going give Mister Big Time another helping hand today, this time regarding the Los Feliz residence that was recently sold by septuagenarian actress Ronnie Claire Edwards for $3,850,000. Mister Big Time was unsure of who purchased the property but because of the title and deed records assumed, correctly, that the new owner is a celebrity. According to wickedly well informed Lucy Spillerguts–a luvlee ladee with unparalleled and potent powers of discovery–the 6,516 square foot house was purchased by Michael Balzary, the Red Hot Chili Pepper bass player who the world better knows as Flea.

Mister Balzary has been on a bit of real estate whirligig lately. Property records (and reports) show that in late 2006 the moneyed musician forked over $9,980,000 for a 2.01 acre ocean front spread in Malibu with a 2,731 square foot house.

Unfortunately for Mister Balzary, he seems to have gotten caught in a real estate squeeze with his previous residence in Malibu which he's been trying to sell for a very long time...since at least late 2006. Your Mama discussed the Sycamore Meadows Drive property back when it was listed at $4,800,000. According to current listing information, the asking price has been seriously karate chopped to $2,800,000, which is just $350,000 more than he paid for the 4,882 square foot house in 2002. Oh dear.

5.
Your Mama received a correspondence from Mister Smiley who linked us over to an article in the NY Post about yet another celebrity who is losing his house, this time it's rapper/actor DMX, a man whose real name, Earl Simmons, is a lot less scary sounding. Anyhoo, according to the NY Post, Mister DMX purchased an East Harlem townhouse in 2001 with the hope of converting it from an SRO into luxury rentals...Oh, you know what, children, it's the middle of the damn night and we have got to go. So if you're interested in this DMX person, go read the NY Post.

41 comments:

Alessandra said...

I'd bet escrow(!) for the Duchovny clan.

If I weren't so damned tired and caffeine-deprived, I'd riff on the Fall of the House of Usher or Flea Bag Hotels, but let some other gifted children pick up my line of thought or not. Plus, I'd have to care about these people, which I don't.

lil' gay boy said...

Hmmm . . .

1). Perhaps just a change of heart?

2). Call me when he flips a house.

3). Who?

4). Red Hot Chili Pepper, ice cold listing.

5). Um, not so much.

Safe flight, Mama.

Anonymous said...

Mama, it's not the mouths, it's the little hands on the keyboards.

1. Agree quiet sale

2. RDJ is getting good at laying low. Saw him on some TV clip. Thought he looks better than has for years.

3. Don't know nothing about his music but the man has a body to die for.

4. Poor neighbors

5. Who?

In the pink said...

Lil' gay boy you don't know who Usher is? Well he's been around for years been in movies as well as sold many millions of CDs. He's hot and he's an undercover homosexual,google him HOT!

lil' gay boy said...

In The Pink,

Yes, heard of him - not my cup o' tea and not on my radar.

tracyh said...

I thought Flea's Sycamore Meadows Drive house burned to the ground last year when there were wildfires? So is that 2.8 million for the land?

average joe said...

I told you fools that prices would go back to 1990 levels. This is my proof.

Jean-Luc said...

here is a link to usher's new house. http://stylerazzi.blogspot.com/2008/02/ushers-new-roswell-home.html

the fox said...

Casey Serin = avg joe:
Which is better,Uzbekistan without medication or U S of A with them on your welfare you are draing us of. I am tired of may tax dollars supporting you.

Anonymous said...

How to Loose your Shirt in Real Estate

Starring the living down by the river in a box boy Average Joe also known as Casey Serin the trash talking mouth who needs medication. Average Casey Joe step up and take a bow.

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&vid=376f5633-63a8-4008-a9b1-4d3a8a142685&fg=rss

Anonymous said...

anon 2:55, the best sound byte from that video is that successful *real* house flippers don't have to talk [brag] about it.

caveman said...

this board needs more pch, lgb & others, & less you know who.
if we ignore...., he will go away, maybe, or not, whatever, nevermind, carry on.

Anonymous said...

Fleas house did burn down, so the number it is listed for is now just for the land and the swimming pool is still intact. That is why the price is so much lower.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Red Hot Chili Peppers, does anyone know if Anthony Kiedis' house on Davis Drive in Beverly Hills sold? It was on the market last year and is absolutely stunning.

so_chic_darling said...

Have the children seen the chaos that has broken out on the previous Jamie Foxx thread. It's some sort of average joe meltdown,I'm loving it.

Anonymous said...

I think I might have just seen him in person. I was at the intersection of San Vicente & Sunset and some loon was running around in the middle of the street wearing a ratty discolored Member's Only jacket, ripped pink polo with the collar up and white Vuarnets. He was holding a cardboard sign that read "Buy 2260 Sunset Plaza For MEEEE"

Anonymous said...

lmao so_chic. I hadn't noticed the chaos, too funny. I think Mama has a 6th sense and knows when it's time to fold 'em for a spell and let the children battle it out.. hehe.

Have a great vacation Mama!

lil' gay boy said...

2260 Sunset Plaza - aaarrrrrrgggggh!

average joe said...

anon/fox

okay here we go again on here to

I am to tired to go on, I have been laughing all day on how a imbecile moron will spend his or her entire day
trying to get back at me

making up so many names different posts and yet they are all from the same IP address

fucking looooooserrrrr :)

average joe said...

This about sums up todays housing market, high end and low end

http://tinyurl.com/5dpvlt

average joe said...

I think it is from the

New Yorker Magazine

http://tinyurl.com/5dpvlt

Anonymous said...

this blog has gotten reaaaaal boring as of lately.

real dis-a-ma-pointing

average joe said...

This about sums up my mental state, since I don't care that this is a celebrity real estate blog so I will keep posting off topic links

http://tiny.cc/8XvaG

average joe said...

I think it is from the

National Lampoon

http://tiny.cc/8XvaG

luke220 said...

I was surprised to see the former Dorothy Chandler house on Flipping Out this week. What can you tell us about the new owners? She seems like a real b****.

average joe said...

hey anon/fake average joe

pphffft !!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

I did not goto your link

I am sure it is a gross pict

you are a sick puppy

Anonymous said...

WOW

sandpiper said...

Is there a shrink in the house?

average joe said...

I am average joe

phffff...poop !!!!!!!!!!!!

:(

I pooped my pants

I am sure it is a gross poop

I am a sick puppy

so_chic_darling said...

I think it may be time for Mama to review comments before they're posted.

lil' gay boy said...

Reminds me - I must rent Sybil again.

Los Angeles Country Department of Mental Health Services said...

Dear Mama's Children,

We at the Los Angeles Country Department of Mental Health Services sincerely apologize for the behavior of our patient, Mr. Joseph E. Medino (aka "Average Joe", "Ed From Westwood"). Mr. Medino escaped from custody by hiding his jello cups under his mattress until he had accumulated enough to spread and make the floor slippery, causing his social worker Miss Juwanna Mann to slip and fall upon entering his padded cell. Failure to receive his medications on schedule allowed his alternative personalities to escape the crevices of his mind. He is currently undergoing shock therapy and sedation in an attempt to corral his multiple personality disorder down to 2-3 voices.

He was captured this afternoon as he ran screaming and naked in front of the Sunset Blvd offices of Sotheby's International Realty, singing the words to the 1979 Knack hit “My Sharona”. Sharona Alperin, the real estate agent immortalized in the Knack hit contacted the Los Angeles Country Sheriffs Office. Ms. Alperin denies knowing Mr. Medino but does believe he have been behind a rash of crank calls her office received over the past year asking the highly successful agent to write offers for pennies on the dollar on some of her most desirable listings.

Ms. Juwanna Mann would also like to publically acknowledge that she is not nor has she ever been intimate with the patient. She pledges her undying love for her fiancé, Jerome “Killer” Waters.

We regret the intrusion into your childhood,

Respectfully,

I. P. Dailey
Associate Patient Coordinator
Los Angeles County
Department of Mental Health Services

sandpiper said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'd be happy to sign on with a required e-mail address. For the relatively few that actually comment, in proportion to the healthy traffic Our Mama probably receives, I don't think it's too much to ask of us.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you sandpiper, if Mama wants to require registration, I will do it. Until then I'm not making it any easier for the idiot since he has come after me before.

Anon 6/26 5:49pm, I don't think Mama has a sense about when the idiot will surface. I think he floods the comments as soon as Mama says she will be away.

lil' gay boy said...

Has anyone checked his appearances against the phases of the moon?

wreckingball said...

I just noticed in the June 19th edition of the Malibu Times there was an ad for Ellen Francisco offering the Duchovny place for rent?lease? for 25,000/month.

Anonymous said...

Mama, Brownstoner is reporting that Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are under contract for their home, and they may be getting their full 8.5 million asking price. True? Brownstoner was sketchy on deets.
http://www.brownstoner.com/brownstoner/archives/2008/06/connelly_schlos.php#comments

average joe said...

I am really flattered that anyone would take time out of their busy day to write looooooooonnnng comments about me

yes really

:>

btw credit card limits have just been cut waayyyy back

the storm is right nearing the coast now.

jl13 said...

average joe

There is a Possibility that there will be a crash but this is not the site to say it.

I will give two hints the average joe has NEVER HEARD

1 The Kondratieff Cycle

2 Credit Default Swaps

We are right now in the perfect storm and if it hit it will be Hell.

28 million people on food stamps already. The Similarity with the 1920s is scary.

Now case closed and let us have some new celebrity real estate news.

quiet on the home front said...

Ignore people. IGNORE! The only reason some people are successful is because they get the attention they seek. If they didn't it wouldn't be any fun for them and most likely give up.
Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

he will just talk to himself. does it all the time.

mama needs to accept her fame, require registration, then ban him when he starts up.

he will just make up another name but if he has to create another email account everytime too he will eventually go find some other blog where registration is optional.