Friday, May 9, 2008

Goldie and Kurt Rent It Out. Again.

For those of you children too booze addled to quickly recall off the top of your gin soaked minds, to-day is the ninth of May. Last year, on this very day, the ninth of May, Your Mama revealed that middle aged Hollywood hottie Goldie Hawn and her manly man-friend Kurt Russell were looking to lease their ocean front hideaway on Malee-boo's Broad Beach Road for a bikini busting $95,000 per (summer) month.

Your Mama hasn't a clue whether some deep pocketed person coughed up cash for keys to the place last summer, but we do know that the famously and fantastically unconventional duo are once again offering their 4,126 square foot contemporary house for lease at $95,000 per month (June-September), with a two month minimum, thank you very much.

According to listing information, the house has three bedroom suites including a ocean view master with floor to ceiling windows, a "spa-inspired bath area" and a private beachfront balcony. Other amenities include a detached guest/meditation room as well as a gym. Ordinarily Your Mama doesn't care for a home gym. However, on a property where loads of time is spent nearly nekkid and on the beach surrounded by other nearly nood and sharp tongued body fascists, a home gym could be helpful in warding off wicked whispers about one's thighs and ass.

The Hawn/Russell back yard includes a large and lovely flagstone terrace with some kind of Balinese hut-thing off to one side. Your Mama isn't so down with a Balinese hut-thing in the back yard unless it's in Bali. But we do imagine this structure provides a shady spot for retiring in the late afternoons to peruse the tabs and gossip glossies or, even better, a quiet area where Sven can give rub downs in his revealingly vulgar bathing suit. Between the house and the beach is an unnaturally green and lush lawn where Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly would piddle and poo, and perhaps most important is the private section of the sand where the really rich renters can oil up and bake in the sun like boneless and organic chicken breasts in the La Cornue. Meanwhile, all the looky-loos who wander by at the water's edge will wonder with envy and awe about how it is that you have enough money for a meticulously maintained house right on the soft sands of Malee-boo.

Interestingly–and frankly, quite confusingly, listing information for the Hawn/Russell rental indicates that the property is a "Rental Home (for sale)" What? Really? Hmm. Has this property been quietly placed on the market? Would Miss Goldie and Mister Kurt be willing to part with their prime piece of Malee-boo real estate for the right price? Your Mama doesn't know shit and it's way too early to contact any of our sources in Malee-boo to sort that bit of perplexing bizness out. In the meantime, iffin any of you early rising Malee-booans wanna get in touch with Your Mama and let us know what you know about the sitch-ee-a-shun, we're all ears. Big ears.

13 comments:

Alessandra said...

Well, Mama, I'd imagine that if you own a property that you're willing to rent out for four months out of the year, you aren't so devoted to it that if some land hungry Malibu billionaire came along and offered you a lot of money for the place, you would sneer and say, "But no! It is not for sale! Take your filthy lucre and flee, you insolent cur!"

I like the amenities of this one, and I'd keep Sven on permanent duty in the Balinese hut. Watching the ocean all day is so stressful.

lil' gay boy said...

I'm with Alessandra - except I'd insist Sven dispose of the vulgar swim suit whilst taking up residence in the Balinese hut . . .

;-)

Not bad for a house of this type, a non-descript contemporary on a tight lot made to look lower slung than it is by a judicious use of asymmetrical shed roofs . . .

. . . oh, yeah, and the Pacific Ocean, too.

Anonymous said...

Since when is 60ish considered middle aged?

Alessandra said...

When you look as good as Goldie Hawn...

Anonymous said...

Cash For Keys - Is Mama doing some BPO action of sorts....on the side?

pch said...

Broad Beach is good for summer...north of the hubbub, but you can still get to Santa Monica for dinner. Anyone know if Hows is still as grungy as it used to be?

Viva! said...

I love the location. If I was Goldie I'd hold onto that house till my knuckles atrophied. Love that they actually have a lawn before the beach. Gorgeous...Yes, I'm a slut for anything in Malibu.

Anonymous said...

Goldie is larger that life. Yet, having witnessed her socially, has also presented herself in less than beconing, self damaging and extremely loud ways. Care to hit a nerve with the otherwise mogul? Ask her to recant the evening she slandered Jane Seymour's possible beau within any earshot of a packed restaurant, then-Sand Castle, Paradise Cove.

Anonymous said...

They both look real good for a pair of heavy smokers. They are prolly leaving malibu to escape the anti-smoking Nazis.

bentley said...

This place does it for me. Totally smitten with the approach.

Parker said...

I'm in love...

Anonymous said...

I'd hang on to the property. It will only go up in value.

However, It is a little overgrown with plants killing some of the view.


House is the one with the brown offset roof, dark tinted windows, Banana Tree, and the many beach chairs parked in front of it -


http://www.californiacoastline.org/cgi-bin/image.cgi?image=200601651&mode=big&lastmode=sequential&flags=0&year=2006

Anonymous said...

Anybody has the name of the agency or contact details???
please help me!
Best
Valerie