Monday, April 7, 2008

A Little Morning Mish Mash

Your Mama has been swamped and ka-razy short on time so we're going to take advantage of this quiet morning to catch up on some of the items we've not previously had a chance to discuss. If y'all already know some or all of this real estate bizness, well then don't read it. And don't complain. We do not want to hear it. We're doing the best we can at a time when we've got more to do than there are hours in the day. Besides, we got some good stuff to serve up for you later.

1.
Looks like television writer and producer Mark Brazill (That 70s Show, 3rd Rock from the Sun) is already selling the lovely Los Feliz residence he purchased in April of 2007 for $4,795,000 from the always meticulously groomed pop super star Gwen Stefani and her meretricious musician huzband Gavin Rossdale. Mister Brazill, a man arguably best known by the general public for his frightening email exchanges with film and television writer Judd Apatow, recently dropped the 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom stunner on Aberdeen Drive back on the market for $4,885,000, an asking price which pretty much guarantees that once all the taxes and big fat real estate fees are paid, the bombastic Brazill will be losing major money on this real estate folly.

Mister Brazill also had a Toluca Lake property on the market late last year for $3,900,000. Property records reveal that house was sold in February of 2008 for $2,850,000, a somewhat shocking million clams less than he was hoping to get, a situation that Your Mama hopes did not lead a barrage of potty mouth and deeply disturbing emails to real estate agents and attorneys.

2.
Thank Jeezis or Krishna or whatever darned diety you bow down to that funny actress and new mommy Jaime Pressly, who so lovingly and soo-blimely plays an angry, addled and gum snapping piece of trailer trash on My Name is Earl, may have finally got her Buddha filled digs in Tarzana sold.

After nearly a year of fussing, fretting and a major karate chop to the asking price (from $1,499,000 to $1,299,000), listing information for the 2,955 square foot Rosita Street house is currently marked "Looking for a Back Up" which usually indicates the house has gone into escrow. Yippee! Your Mama asks all the children cross their fingers and toes in an effort to send positive vibes towards keeping this deal stuck together so that babalicious behawtcha can get all them Buddha statues loaded up and moved on.

Blondie and her baby daddy, DJ Eric Cubiche, have already forked over $2,250,000 for a large, generic and newly built Mediterranean-ish style mansion on Woodcliff Road in Sherman Oaks which must make the desire to sell the Rosita Street house even more intense.

3.
Who doesn't love Shannen Doherty with her Picasso worthy face and colorful off-set antics? The dark haired and sometimes temperamental Miss Doherty shot to the pinnacle of boob toob fame as bitchy Brenda Walsh on Beverly Hills 90210, then went on to three years as a good witch on Charmed, and more recently hosted some unscripted nonsense called Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty.

Now babies, everyone knows Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are reality television junkies. However, even we have to draw the line somewhere and that line sits this side of watching Miss Doherty bust up couples on national T.V. Holy moly children, what fool would agree to sign a waiver to be seen on a show like that? Honestly! Are people so hungry for their 15 minutes they'd happily humiliate themselves and air their dirty laundry on national damn T.V.? It would appear so. Lawhd children, what is this world coming to?

Anyhoo, we're here to discuss celebrity real estate and not upsetting cultural phenomena, so let's get back on topic. Your Mama always thought Miss Doherty shacked up with a few horses and dogs on a 20 acre ranch in Somis, a little known and dusty town north of Los Angeles in Ventura County. However, property records show she has sold that rural retreat some time ago and, as it turns out, Miss Doherty actually owns two house in Malee-boo. Two!

One of them, located on Winding Way, was recently listed with an asking price of $4,400,000. Property records reveal that Miss Doherty paid $2,560,000 for the 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom property in April of 2004 and listing information indicates the 3,410 square foot contemporary house is accessed down a long flower lined driveway which terminates in a large motor court perfect for turning giant SUVs. The backyard swimming pool looks out and over some of the most expensive real estate in Malee-boo to the Pacific Ocean, a view that Your Mama would give our eye teeth for.

Your Mama hasn't a clue where Miss Doherty will park it once this property sells, but she does still own that another house in Malee-boo, so none of the bleeding heart children should lose any sleep about the possibility of her being homeless.

4.
As was first reported in Life & Style magazine some time ago and built on by the on fire with 411 Mister Big Time yesterday, the always hatted country music star Kenny Chesney has recently plunked down a hefty $7,400,000 for a comely casa on celebrity studded Carbon Mesa Road in Malee-boo.

Mister Chesney's Mediterranean style mini-manse, located up a long private celebrity style driveway, features just 2 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, an infinity edged swimming pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and a long stretch of lawn perfect for gin soaked croquet tournaments played at twilight.

Other big name residents on Carbon Mesa Road include (but are not limited to) Tanya Tucker, Ed Harris and Amy Madigan, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni, as well as the now vacant lot where a house owned by Sean Penn was burned to the ground in the 1993 Malibu fires.

Property records show that Mister Chesney, who was once married to Oscar winning actress Renee Zellweger for about 12 minutes, also owns a 48 acre farm outside Nashville in Franklin, TN. But what Your Mama really wants to know is what is (or is not) under Mister Chesney's 10 gallon hat?

5.
Celebrity real estate superstar Max Abelson at the NY Observer reported yesterday that U2 front man and budding political bigwig Bono pulled in $4,900,000 for an 2,322 square foot co-op apartment he recently sold an apartment at the legendary El Dorado on New York City's Central Park West, the same dee-luxe building where Moby the musician is getting antsy to unload his glute grueling quadraplex.

But don't get too excited children, because this is not the apartment where He of the Tinted Lenses actually lives. Five years ago the Irish rock star moved a few blocks south to the swanky San Remo where he paid Apple Founder and CEO Steve Jobs $14,500,000 for a sprawling duplex penthouse. The San Remo digs are where Mister Bono reportedly coughed up an additional $15,000,000 on renovations by starchitects I.M. Pei and Robert A.M. Stern and also where he has famously battled with Billy Squier (and other nabes) over fireplace smoke drifting into his penthouse.

30 comments:

Bigdaddyj said...

I'm actually not surprised to hear that Brazill is already selling Stefani's old Los Feliz place, as I seem to remember reading or hearing back when he bought it that he supposedly only did so to steal it away from some enemy of his (Apatow maybe?) who he had heard was interested in buying it...I guess when you're that rich, what's a loss of a few hundred thousand or a million bucks to get some revenge, LOL...;-)

Bigdaddyj said...

Also not surprised Moby is having trouble unloading the penthouse in the Eldorado...I've seen the floorplans, and while conceptually it might seem like a cool place to live, it is in actuality very small and it probably is, as mama alluded to, a pain in the ass to have practically every room in the place on a different floor...god help you if you get up to the top and remember you left your smokes or whatever down on the first floor of the apartment...sometimes cool and unique doesn't translate into truly liveable...

Anonymous said...

Good grief.. Bono paid $14.5Million for a place and then spent another $15Million to refurbish/remodel it??? I guess when you have more money than God so to speak it's no biggie, but throwing that kind of money around so casually never ceases to amaze and somewhat disturb me. It's even hard for me to imagine feeling differently if I had that kind of money to throw around.

fairfield girl said...

Kenny spends his time in Nashvegas and on an island somewhere, I just can't remember at the moment..... later I'll ask hubby later today... get back with y'all later.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how much Bonos San Remo penthouse will be worth today? Considering 15 CPW prices & the fact that the San Remo is so exclusive, a stunning building & has major history it must be in the high $30M/$40M+ ??

Though, thats not taking into account his renovation. Any NY realtors out there that can fill us in?

Anonymous said...

"...he supposedly only did so to steal it away from some enemy of his (Apatow maybe?)"

Apatow swings his beat waaaaaay across town in Pacific Palisades...Brazil bought this house to spite someone else. Search and pull this sale from Mamma's archive and you'll find a name. But it ain't Apatow.

"...throwing that kind of money around so casually never ceases to amaze and somewhat disturb me."

Yeah...because Bono is completely unplugged from any sort of charity work.

*doink*

Anonymous said...

I looked at the Stefani house last year. It's kind of a mess..would need at least a couple of million to re do the interiors and the outside landscaping (the backyard is multi levels that are not in good shape and dying because of poor watering)

View from NY said...

I'm just as obsessed with new listings as you all are, and so little at the San Remo comes up for sale. Since the units on the upper floors are mostly unique, who knows what this place would sell for today. Very little surprises me, but HOW do you spend $15M renovating? Even if this place is 6,000 square feet, that's $2,500 per foot to renovate.

That's quite a lot.

Anonymous said...

wow. never saw those emails between apatow and brazill before. those hebrews are vicious!

Anonymous said...

"those hebrews"

thats a new one.

bentley said...

wow, anon 10:30, it baffles me there are still people like you out there. I read the emails to see of there was any semitic mud-slinging. Nothing.

Next time try, "Man those dudes were pissed."

I hope you have a very small c**k that never gets any love.

Tom Thumb said...

What the fuck does being Hebrew have to do with anything?

What kind of ass says something like that?

I'm sure there are plenty of sites around that appreciate your anti-Semitic slights, but this isn't one of them.

Anonymous said...

"What the fuck does being Hebrew have to do with anything?"

Technically you can't be 'hebrew' - it's a language!

So,

What the fuck does being Jewish have to do with anything?

TheFlyingDutchman said...

Wow you guys have long toes. Just can it and let the man say what he wants. It's not meant seriously and if anyone should be able to take it it's Apatow and Brazill. They make enough jew jokes themselves.

On-topic: I love mish-mashes

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure Kenny Chesney also owns a house on St. John in the British Virgin Islands.

sandpiper said...

flyingingdutchman,

You're an ignorance is only rivaled by the antisemetic anon you are defending.

Fly away.

bentley said...

I am all for freedom of speech, but we're in the fucking toilet already and comments like that flush us that much further down the pipe. It weighs too heavily on me not to say something.

I'm a pacifist-activist-
philanthropist. I work too hard at these things to stand idly by while haters say ignorant things. It belittles us all.

I was guilty of it here, though. I'm too easily baited but it was a knee-jerk reaction. I'm not an anti-small penisist. I hope you are generously endowed and enjoy a healthy, horny and happy sex life anon 10:30. Just lay off the slurs, it's really in very bad taste.

BTW, I've been in Moby's pad. The views and terraces are superb, but the interior is very awkward. The floor accessed by the spiral staircase is actually the most redeeming feature of the apartment, though.

theflyingdutchman said...

Sandpiper, you have to know what you're talking about before you say it. And even then only in proper grammar please. So think about it and wisen up and until then I kindly suggest you pipe it.

Anonymous said...

off topic, kind of...

on Moby's apartment, how do you move any furniture to those floors accessed only by a spiral staircase?

Or for that matter, anything larger than a bread box.

sandpiper said...

flyingdutchman,

I knew exactly what I was saying. What's there to think about. ANTI-SEMETIC is never to be tolerated.

I originally began with:
"You're an IGNORANT ASS."

Thinking better of it, I edited my reply to avoid calling you AN IGNORANT ASS. In my haste, I neglected to re-read the sentence.

Mister, you do not want to go there, believe me. Shut the f**k up.

As for Our Mama's post, no comment on the pot rack? Mama must be busy!

wreckingball said...

Hmm you think Kenny Chesney will have a house warming party that I'll be invited to?

That house is kinda cool though, they filmed the Danny Devito movie Get Shorty there.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:04, I'm not sure what Bono's charity work has to do with anything and I wasn't singling him out per se in my comment. Regardless, since you bring the matter up, I take Bono with a grain of salt after his chummy meeting and enthusiastic picture posing with our highly dubious, war mongering president.

theflyingdutchman said...

sandpiper,

You must not be jewish. You must not be anything that ever deals with racism or even talk to people who deal with racism. You try to be morally correct but you're not. You need to learn the difference between humor and racism and this one wasn't even on the border. So I'm done with you.

And your last post was amazing. Not one mistake. Or was there..hmm anti semItic perhaps.. you fool. I do not want to go where? Here?

And don't let yourself go to much next time. Suppress your rage

Bigdaddyj said...

Hypocrites like Bono really piss me off...if he really, truly was so concerned for the plight of the impoverished, you'd think he'd think of something better to do with $30+ million than spend it on an apartment...I don't care what anyone says, don't tell me you're not a hypocrite when you preach about ending poverty on one hand but then spend lavishly on yourself and your family while preaching to the poor and middle class that THEY should be doing more to help the impoverished...what, a $5-million apartment wouldn't be good enough, and then he could devote another $25-million to charitable causes? All these rich celebs make me sick...like Russel Simmons, "Savior of the hip hop culture", and the $500,000 toilet in his $23-million Saddle River mansion...you're telling me there aren't some poor African American charities that couldn't have used that $500,000 he spent on a toilet for his house to maybe send 10 kids to college? These people make me sick when they preach to us how we should live our lives while they pay lip service to charity while sitting in their multi-million apartments and mansions eating caviar...sorry for the rant, but these hypocrites (Bono, Russel Simmons, Oprah just to name 3) disgust me, sorry...;-)

Anonymous said...

We want more mish mash dammit....

Parker said...

bigdaddy, I totally agree...

Anonymous said...

Live and center we introduce that crazy fuck jew basher flyingdutchman. Families of Holocaust, let's give a big round of applause to the guy that thinks we can’t take a joke…

The Hollywood Mayor said...

Regarding Brazill's new "flip"... the word I heard was that it was too far of a drive from where he worked. I guess that doesn't make sense now that I know he owns in Toluca Lake (Heaven forbid)...


Bigdaddyj, I agree with you about those hypocrites...

Anonymous said...

HAHA I read that Kenny Chesney has already put the house on the market. Buyer's remorse. I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure a house doesn't increase in value 500k in that time. He'll be lucky if he eventually gets his money back out of it.

Anonymous said...

little troll, vanish like in the fairytale books.