Tuesday, January 15, 2008

UPDATE: Slade Smiley

Last night Your Mama received a lovely communication from a nice young man we'll call Mister Happypants who was generous and kind enough to send over some paperwork that clearly shows that former Housewives of Orange County stud muffin Slade Smiley's Coto de Caza house is indeed sliding into foreclosure, if it hasn't already.

According to a Notice of Trustees Sale (dated August 28th, 2007) that was provided to Your Mama by Mister Happypants, Mister Smiley owes $1,408,662 and seven damn cents on his uglee ass house with a criminal amount of white carpeting. The N.T.S. also indicates that the house was to be sold at auction on September 27, 2007. Property records do not reveal a sale at that time, so Your Mama does not know if Mister Smiley managed to hold off the sale or if a sale is simply not yet reflected in public records.

However, you'll recall that the house was last listed at $1,290,000, less that what Mister Smiley owed on the property, which might explain why Mister Smiley's shit was all piled up in Vicki Gunvalson's real estate mistake in last week's titillating and exciting episode.

Now puppies, Your Mama does not want to pour any fuel onto Mister Smiley's financial fire, but it does seem a wee bit strange and sad that a man rich (and foolish) enough to buy his not very intelligent appearing gurlfriend a e-class Mercedes finds himself in such a monetary pickle. Or did he lease it? Uh oh. That would leave poor Jo in need of another male benefactor to buy (or lease) her a luxury automobile.

Anyhoo, Celebrity real estate maven Miz Ruth Ryon at the the LA Times recently reported that Mister Smiley purchased a condo at the Eastern Columbia loft building in downtown Los Angeles. Your Mama poured over the available E.C. deed documents with a fine tooth comb, and we failed to come up with a paper trail for a purchase by Mister Smiley.

And, of course, we wonder how a man headed into foreclosure, a man who can not even afford to store his belongings, could possibly afford a six or seven hundred thousand dollar condominium. Anyone? Your Mama speculates (we speculate kids, we know NOTHING) that IF the rumored to be impoverished Mister Smiley is indeed living at the Eastern Columbia, it might just be thanks to the good graces of a ladee friend with large plastic boobies and a fat wallet.

Now why isn't this imbroglio being captured on The Housewives of Orange County, because puppies, this is reality.

55 comments:

lil' gay boy said...

Aw, too bad for poor old Slade - it couldn't have happened to a nicer pedophile - um, I mean, guy.

Anonymous said...

CAN YOU PLEASE WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE THAT READERS ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT?! YOU KEEP WRITING ABOUT ALL THESE NOBODIES THAT NO ONE WANTS TO FUCKING READ ABOUT!

lil' gay boy said...

Temper, temper, anon; you don't want to wind up in an anger-management class for punching your computer screen, now do you?

CheekyChops said...

I LOVE reading this stuff. Mama is right.. this is the reality of the OC Housewives!! You go grrrrl!

luke220 said...

If Mr. Smiley is living at the Eastern Columbia, I'd bet that it is a PR move by the building.

He is neither young enough nor attractive enough to be put up by a rich woman with plastic boobies- she would choose someone much better looking, who perhaps shaves and showers more often than Mr. Smiley.

PS I'd say that the cars, Hummer included, were leased- the Orange County way.

Pickles said...

We gave half of our money to the Chinese for all our stuff and the other half to the oil producing countries so technically we are all bankrupt.
Right now is the calm before the storm.Look out everybody.

Anonymous said...

Is this guy stupid or what. If he thinks losing money on his OC McCrapshack is bad he's not gonna like what the values of L.A. condos in substandard locations are gonna do after all of the fake option arm equity of the last few years disappears!

Hollywood money is certainly not the smart money.

lil' gay boy said...

Luke, there may be an attribute you might be overlooking as far as Mr. Smiley is concerned . . .

;-)

But seriously, any dope who would have leveraged whatever equity he had in the Casa de Crappo to finance his "lifestyle" with that bird-brain is winding up just where he deserves.

I mean, really, what mis-located LA condo board would seriously consider him a PR asset?

Anonymous said...

YAWN! Some of us didn't give half to the chinese and half to the oil producing countries. We didn't buy condos in substandard locations with fake option arm equity loans.

We are here to read about fun times in the real estate dealings of the rich & famous, most of whom do very well in their real estate dealings so anon 1:23 - "Hollywood money is not smart money" is a false statement. Go tell that to Ellen's banker and watch him laugh you out the door.

There are hundreds of blogs out there for the whiners of the world who got caught speculating on the real estate market. Dangerous thing about speculation - YOU CAN LOSE MONEY!?!? Waa Waa Waa... go cry on those boards and leave us to our real estate porn.

luke220 said...

Maybe Jo got a record deal?

I can't wait to find out what happens with Vicki's house.

so_chic_darling said...

Pickles had a panic attack,Aunt Mary peed in her pants,Caveman opened another beer,lil' gay boy did something naughty,Linda Hoof farted and the world didn't end.

Linda Hoof said...

That was not a fart!

lil' gay boy said...

So_Chic, does that mean there is a God after all?

I mean besides Mama . . .


;-)

so_chic_darling said...

Yes and she's not very happy with her children right now.

LAPD Tipster said...

So Chic...THAT is the kind of update we come here to read.

Hoof, glad to hear that 4.0 on the richter scale wasn't you farting. I was starting to worry about your diet.

Caveman, toss me a beer.

LGB, you know what I want you to do.

lil' gay boy said...

But So_Chic, we're trying to be good little chilruns; how can we make her smile again?

. . . and lapd, promises, promises . . .

Hippie Canyon said...

And then there's Maud!

Sanadpiper said...

How do I sign in without the ability to comment? Hearts to all.

Little Buddy-please just breathe. What's meant to be will be. Tho I fear you're treading deep waters.

Where the heck is Aunt Mary?

sunny in san jose said...

Lil g b - I would be honored to do a duet with you!

Mama, that bird brain Jo is getting her own show on Bravo so I am sure we will find out what the he double l Slime Smiley is up to. I saw her in the coming attractions at the end of the 1st show but I haven't seen her since. Did I miss her?

so_chic_darling said...

You mean you guys didn't hear about Aunt Mary and Caveman,oh the scandal!

sandpiper said...

Sing like a bird -- and spill! We need details!

lil' gay boy said...

Not to worry, Sandpiper, not "looking for love in all the wrong places . . . "

Sunny, how nice! Where will we practice? Jo got her own show? You have GOT to be kidding!

So_Chic - spill it! The chilruns want details - the messier the better.

pch said...

LGB, quoting that old Johnny Lee song (which I haven't heard in years and just downloaded from iTunes) brought back a very happy memory of driving down PCH to the Jonathan Club. End of summer, in the back seat of a 450 SEL, sunroof open, windows down, everyone singing along in fake Southern accents...totally lame, but the reason it was one of those perfect days...thanks for sparking the memory.

Linda Hoof said...

Well actually I was just opening an old can of peaches in syrup.

lil' gay boy said...

Glad to oblige, PCH; nothing like a trip down memory lane . . . too bad we can live there permanently, sometimes.

Linda Hoof, I think those peaches might have gone bad - be careful!

So_Chic, we're still waiting on ALL the juicy details . . .

sandpiper said...

Ms. Hoof...prolific as always. But, are those peaches low-sugar or full strength?
PCH...did you ever catch Willie Bobo at the jazz club up PCH?
So_chic_darling...spill already. Aunt Mary and caveman? I suspected as much, but really? Never pictured her as a canned beer kind'a chick.

bentley said...

Oh pickles, how dreary.

I believe Aunt Mary is hiding in the armour in the corner, waiting patiently to knock someone on the head for actually leasing an e-class Mercedes-Benz.

Anon 12:34, if it's not to your taste, move along, sweet thing. In case you haven't noticed, it's the pieces of shit, the snoozers and the hum-drum that really get the comments humming.

As usual, So_Chic swooped in to save the day. You owe me a keyboard, doll, mine is now covered in Cloudy Bay. Very saucy, indeed.

Who the fuck are you talking about, anyway? Slade Smiley...Vicki Gunvalson? Is it Superman meets Fargo? Throw me a bone, kids, I want to play.

Lovely said...

What happened to his son having Cancer? Was that a true story?

aunt mary said...

Oh, dear, I'm so far behind. I've been kidnapped by aliens for the last several days and have not been able to keep up. Have I missed out on a good caper? What is this about Caveman and me? I deny it!

Mama, I've missed the sound of your voice. It's so good to be home.

sunny in san jose said...

Bentley,
Slade, Vicky and Jo are all real people on Real Housewives of Orange County, Tuesdays at 10P on Bravo. Bentley, they put the "fun" in disfunction!

Lovely - I didn't know his son was sick...I must have started watching after that was revealed and then they never brought it up again. At least when I was watching.

Aunt Mary,

Welcome home! I hope those aliens didn't to vile things to you!

Anonymous said...

Well, according to the earlier post, Slade bought the house for $822K in 2002. If he's in default for a mortgage amount of $1.4 million, he must have withdrawn $600K over the last 5 years...probably to pay for all those "lavish" gifts he gave to Joe (diamonds, Mercedes, singing lessons, recording studio time, etc)

lil' gay boy said...

Aunt Mary, those aliens weren't driving a Prius towards Texas by any chance, were they?

Sandpiper said...

Aunt Mary, face it, you are an undeniable trollop.
We may be stupid, but we're not fools(?). Carry on and enjoy...but caveman? Took you for higher standards. Oh well.

lil' gay boy said...

Sandpiper, ssshhhhh!

Slade might hear you and get it into his mind to make Aunt Mary his new Sugar Mama . . .

sandpiper said...

So right! She keeps her billions Q-T. Such a tart, but a crafty one.

Girl at the bar said...

Welcome back Aunt Mary can you buy a girl a double on the rocks?

lil' gay boy said...

But what have Aunt Mary and Slade done with Caveman?

Won't he need rescuing?

lil' gay boy said...

Aunt Mary, the aliens didn't perform any anal probes, now did they?

Huh? Did they?

We're all glad you're back and that Caveman wasn't involved but - how are you and where is he?

sandpiper said...

Get out your hankies, kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkEHmROVA_U&eurl=http://www.lauriwaring.com/

pch said...

I'm wondering if someone at Elysium Productions has been watching the wedding/reception scenes from Guns n Roses' epic November Rain video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siBoLc9vxac

caveman said...

F, Marry, or Kill.
I would F the blonde who just turned 40, marry jenna & kill the insurance agent.
lauri is a freakin plastic statue with some godamndumbasskids, ( her youngest girl is ok tho)

lil" gay boy said...

My guess is if you set Lauri's hair on fire, she'd burn like an Advent candle, slowly melting through the entire Christmas season.

Lovely said...

Many reports have been published that Slade's son has cancer and Slade has put down around 2 million dollars for treatment. Leave the man alone. So what if he defaulted on a loan, he wanted a good life for himself and his family. ANd to all of you whom say he's a horrible man bc he goes out clubbing at night-shut up! This man has taken care of his son for over a year now, if anyone needs a break every once in a while it's him, and please get over the mama business!

Anonymous said...

Not to state the obvious but wouldn't having a real job so that you can provide insurance coverage for your children make more sense than [supposedly] spending 2m on healthcare bills?

I did a google search to find those "many reports" you are talking about...Pretty much found mentions on blogs like this one about how the kid had cancer all the way back in the first season of the show, way before this guy "moved to LA to be near his sick child". Not one mention in the tradional media.

lil' gay boy said...

God knows she make be chock full of preservatives, but having that bird-brain Jo around the house wouldn't make cancer go away . . .

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Slade has found some sugar-momma and to foot the bill for his place in LA. Hey, I hear Jeanna is single and wealthy, and I'm sure desperate for some lovin!

Anonymous said...

All of these real estate woes are occuring because, with maybe a couple of exceptions, these people are not truly wealthy. Anyone who has actually been to Orange county knows that Coto is a 2nd rate location, a half hour from the beach. Everyone knows that waterfront property in OC is where the wealth is. These people are just a group of over-leveraged middle class wannabes who use their tract homes as ATMs, and have loads of credit card debt. And why you ask? So they can look happy and rich on TV. Their "wealth" is as fake as their breasts.

Anonymous said...

The previous poster has it right, these people on OC housewive are decendent from trailer trash. They are poorly educated and make their money selling things in good markets and tapping home equity. That party is over. Did anyone see Tamra's 40th birthday? Her mother came directly from her doublewide trailer. Its sad people confuse borrowed money with wealth, but obviously people who read this site do not. Thank you Moma for proving this forum. I'll admit I watch the houswives to see the inane antics and laugh at them and mock them. I also ocassionally think about squeezing one off in the ample clevage of Quinn or Tamra, heck I'd do Vicki in a pinch. Chatting about real estate and tartish middle aged woman who think they are wealthy and successful is really fun. Brovo censors all the good stuff and just posts love letters from fans. Can't wait for houswives of NYC, hopefully even more dirty and sorted than OC, and with some real money people for a change!

Anonymous said...

They should do a reality show in the city of Yorba Linda in the OC. It is the richest city in ALL of the USA according to the census bureau and money magazine.

Anonymous said...

Oh, thank you for taking me slightly out of my macro and micro depression today. In reading about Slade Smiley's financial realities, my world got a little better. I have personal knowledge of Mr. S. and Ms. NOT de la Rosa. It is always good to know when karma has been returned, good and bad. His first dishonest on show RHOC was his age -- he's late 40's.

Anonymous said...

Update, the house Slade supposedly "owns" in Date My Ex is not his. After his foreclosure in Coto no bank would give him a mortgage to buy a nicer home...are you kidding me! He also owes $80,000 to the IRS, and Ms. Jeanna Keough, the lying sack of shit just filed for bankruptcy. A notice of default went against her house in July 2008. What goes around comes around!

Anonymous said...

I heard that as well about Jeanna. Also, heard through the rumor mill that she was trying to scam the IRS through a friend. Not sure of all those details though. Maybe the 2 of them can cozy up in prison.

Anonymous said...

How you guys know that Slade lost his house and owes money? Are you guys personal friends or acquaintences of his? Same goes for Jeanna. You know people that are friends of hers, and therefore know this info? Just want to know of this gossip is legit.

Anon said...

Home foreclosures, bankruptcies and IRS taxes due are public record. Anyone willing to do the tedious work can look that stuff up.

Anonymous said...

Slade is a tool !!!