Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Ellen and Portia Move On Up to The Beverly Hills

Oh Ellen. Your Mama is always so impressed with your inspired choices of homes. First it was the somewhat modest and secluded place on Lime Orchard Road in Beverly Hills where the fast fading singer/reality star Jessica Simpson now lives the tabloid life of a sad single woman on the hunt for a marriageable man.

Then it was that trio of lovelies up on Woodrow Wilson Drive and Woodstock Road that you sold off to a trio of celebrities (Heath Ledger, Will Ferrell and some big chested soap stud).

Then there were the casually sophisticated ranches in the Santa Ynez Valley that had just about every design queen wanting to strap on a pair of chaps and herd the sheep. And let's not forget the well groomed George Washington Smith designed stunner around the corner from Oprah's fiefdom in Montecito that you have reportedly sold recently at a multi-million dollar profit.

Most recently there was the mini-compound up on Zorada drive that included a long, low and louche Marmol and Radziner designed house and that other cutie down the slope a bit.

And now, here you are, with your lady lover Portia, back in Beverly Hills, in the house you bought from Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick after he spent millions renovating the place. Tucked into a little ravine with sweeping views over the city that once chewed you up and spit you out because you dared reveal publicly that you live the love that dare not speak it's name.

And now look at you, sitting in your big beautifully renovated house laughing all the way to the bank and refusing to take the calls of all those producer assholios who once maligned you as they sifted through their salads at The Ivy and hatefully whispered things like, "We can't do anything with her now that she's a God. Damn. Lezbeeun." The sister owns those pieces of shit now.

Your Mama does not have much information on your new house because it was never on the open market. However, we do hear through the real estate grapevine that you paid an absolute fortune for the place, and it's rumored that you would like to or have already quietly purchased the house next door that is owned by the dignified and successful celebrity real estate agent Jade Mills. We got no proof of that gossip, but it certainly makes sense to Your Mama given your predilection for compounds.

Go on and decorate the hell out of this place with your signature brand of mid century modern meets a campsite meets a sophisticated 1940 penthouse apartment. Then invite Your Mama over for a look see because you know we have developed a case of the hives just wondering what nice things you're doing with the place.

It's not that Your Mama wears rose tinted decorating spectacles and think every decorating choice is spot on. But truth be told, you, Portia and your small army of nice gay decorators do up your residences better than most of the rich and famous folks we discuss here who have heaps of money to buy, sell, renovate and decorate to their pocketbooks delight.

Now, get on down to Robertson and Beverly Boulevards and buy a showroom full of furniture so some well shod and impeccably groomed design maven can keep his or her doors open another year.

Source: Pacific Coast News (photo)

38 comments:

Jordy said...

it looks amazing! i wonder how much she paid for it!

caveman said...

i understand the money these hwood types make on flippin props but its kind of strange that they never get attached to any of their homes.

Anonymous said...

Looks promising from the outside ... She has the most amazing taste - her properties are always amazing ... Did anyone see the Ellen show a few months ago when she gave a guided tour [over 2 shows] of her Montecito property? It looked good in pics but on T.V it looked absolutely fantastic ... Anyway, this place will no doubt be on the market this time next year & her Zorada home will be on the market by January.

Anonymous said...

Now the addition under the pool makes more sense.

Anonymous said...

I have always thought Ellen is the best. Loved her humour before this talkshow. I've paid good money to fly to see a few of her shows on her tours. I love her taste in homes. Every single one that you've showed. I'm not so much an Ellen fan anymore because her comedy has changed and imo is less funny. I don't know how I survived in the days when I thought Ellen was simply the best and I never had access to such wonderful information as Mama supplies us. I was thinking back in the old days when a person was celeb infatuated and all you could do was write to their studios and hope to get them to read from their mailbag. Or read about them from a few glossy magazines. Now with the internet, we can see where they live, see what their life is like. Too bad I no longer have a celebrity crush - Ellen was the one infatuation I had. If I had a celebrity crush and lived in Southern California, you can bet I would be driving by their homes just to try and see them in their natural habitats. As for Ellen and Portia - I'm surprised they have lasted this long and it seems to me and other Ellen fans that Ellen's selling of homes often ties in to her satisfaction within her relationships. I find it amazing that she barely lives in a house and then moves to her next one. How can her house be a home? Then again I'm not a celebrity so I don't understand the mindset. Maybe if I was creative and fabulous I would need the frequent changes.

Anonymous said...

Makes me sick with jealousy

Jon said...

Looks nice from the outside, I wish I could see what's inside!

I also wish I was her real estate agent. With her constantly buying and selling, somebody is making a ton!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure this was a renovated house? It looks like the one that was built from the ground up over the last couple of years.

pch said...

The most intriguing aspect of this house -- for me -- is what looks like the entrance to a subterranean garage at the right corner of the retaining wall...wonder how big it is...and what's inside...

Joan Collins said...

Darling I owned this house from 1986-1994 and let me tell you, it's fabulous! In fact, it is more fabulous now than when I owned it and that is certainly saying something. Ellen has wonderful taste and I hope she has many happy years in my former home on the right side of Beverly Hills!

Anonymous said...

It looks amazing. I hope they are willing to have it featured in AD or some other way of letting the children see the interior.

Anonymous said...

Ellen has been living on Collingwood dr. in the hollywood hills were she owns two homes. If she is moving it is from the Brett Barrett designed house on this street. Also, I was wondering if anyone knows who lives at 601 and 615 N Faring rd. in Beverly hills. The house at 615 is a Wallace Neff that was buit for Claudet Colbert. Someone bought up three properties there and I would love to know who it is. Keep up the good work mama your the best.

Anonymous said...

The pool and everything beneth it is brand new. Several million dollars were spent on concrete alone for what was known during construction as the "bunker". In addition to holding the pool on top, the bunker holds many of the houses electrical systems and the pool equipment. It also is the garage and storage area for the house. The windows in the picture are a large area that houses the gym, wet and dry saunas and office space. There is a small balcony/walkway in front of the windows that leads to stairs (in the left in the pic) that lead to the upper yard and pool. The master bedroom is on the left side of the house with views of Century City below. The living are is between the 2 chimneys with the formal dining room, informal dining room and kitchen to the right of the right chimney. There's a study and 2 additional bedrooms to the left of the left chimney with maid quarters in front of the kitchen on the right side of the house. Leather floors in the foyer with black plaster powder room to the right of the front door. Guest house in top of pic has 2 bedrooms and baths with cooper counter tops in the kitchen. I was in the house last Dec. just before construction was complete. It's very well done and at that time very nicely furnished. Every room in the house save for the 2 bedrooms and maids quarters has terrific views of Century City.

Anonymous said...

I wonder where Mr. Max M is moving to now...he's obviously got great taste...and a 'way' with real estate.

Anonymous said...

anon 11:56,

615 Faring is a 1935 Lloyd Wright with 1937 renovations by Wallace Neff.

Colbert is quoted in Alan Weintraub's "Lloyd Wright: The Architecture of Frank Lloyd Wright Jr." as having recalled at a later time "I thought if you asked for a Georgian house, you got one. But he was devoted to the modern, like his daddy".

Wright wrote at the time (in a letter to his father) "The Colbert job has gone like all such jobs, sour with two interior decorators, three or four yes men and what have you, but I've given it a whip and now know from experience what I already knew vicariously"

Sounds like things haven't changed as much in the past 70 odd years as one would think, lol.

Anonymous said...

PS. The Faring Road houses are technically BelAir.

Anonymous said...

where is ellen getting all of this money? i'm disgusted.

caveman said...

i dunno but portia won the lottery.

thats a cool house, i'd like a tour.

Anonymous said...

but portia has to eat that nasty ugly tuna casserole every night. i wouldn't trade places with her for all the money in the world.

and that's that.

pch said...

I'm pretty sure North Faring is technically Holmby Hills. The eastern border of Bel-Air is at Beverly Glen, isn't it?

Wouldn't personally go for a house in the 600 block, whatever the neighborhood's called -- Harvard-Westlake across the street (busy) and that eternally half-finished eyesore with the wacky Aladdin-style wall at the corner of Greendale.

so_chic_darling said...

"black plaster powder room" WOW oh WOW I'm still dizzy over that one.
By the way Ellen is a very classy broad,and I do mean broad as a compliment,with great taste in architecture and design,women and real estate.I don't see why she shouldn't have a dream house and a hot chick at the same time,we should be happy for people who work hard and make it in America.It's hot for her.

Anonymous said...

I don't care for celebrities and just tune into Mama's site for the fabulous real estate. Couldn't care less who owns the house - UNLESS it's Ellen and Portia or someone else who does FABULOUS houses! THEN I'm interested in the celebrity/owner. I agree with some of the previous posts that suggest it'd be lovely if the nice couple settled down and enjoyed a home for a good long stint - but then they might stop doing over houses and what would we do with our voyeuristic ways then! :-)
Hope they open their does to a good design mag so we can see TONS of interior photos when they're done. Hhhhmmmm, maybe they should start their own? Definitely enough material for a quarterly rag, doncha' think? :-)

Anonymous said...

PCH, that area northeast of Beverly Glen & Sunset always confuses me. Part of it is Beverly Hills, and part is LA 90077, which I consider Bel-Air. I looked at a fixer last year that was advertised as Bel-Air and have friends two blocks from the fixer that are Beverly Hills.

Anonymous said...

Mama I love ya but dont like the
G D comment.

Anonymous said...

she buys & sells all the time because she's an architecture nut ... it's her hobbie i guess - no doubt this place will feature on her show at somepoint - she's pretty open when it comes to taping segments in her house

pch said...

Looking at a map, the North-of-Sunset roads I'd put in the Holmby Hills development (City of Los Angeles) are:

Ladera, Monovale, Carolwood, Baroda, Delfern, Faring, Mapleton, Greendale and Brooklawn.

South-of-Sunset, North-of-Wilshire: Carolwood (now closed off), Mapleton, Charing Cross, Wyton and Club View.

West of Beverly Glen Boulevard is Bel-Air, east of Whittier Drive is City of Beverly Hills.

I know there's some 90024 (Westwood), 90077 (Bel-Air) and 90210 (BHPO) schizophrenia -- but those zip codes were applied well after the neighborhoods were laid out, and Holmby Hills is sort of a no-man's-land in between the three more substantial communities.

By now people are probably thinking stfu, so I will :)

bentley said...

Hey pch - the garage is full of Porsches, and a couple of Prius' to ride the green wave.

Beautiful home - incredible. She has impeccable taste. I, too, am dying to see interior pics. Keep digging, Mama!

Real estate is like a drug. Once you start you can't stop, because there is always a more beautiful home just waiting to be scooped up.

Aren't the neighbouring compounds she buys for HER Mama? Little Betty. Cute as a button, that one.

Anonymous said...

she already taped something for her show in this house. go to youtube and type in "Ellen Getting Ready For Emmy" and you can see some of the house in that. :)

-kristen

Anonymous said...

she already taped something for her show in this house. go to youtube and type in "Ellen Getting Ready For Emmy" and you can see some of the house in that. :)

-kristen

Anonymous said...

oops, double post. sorry! :P

Hippie Canyon said...

I was always under the impression that Northfaring (one word, not two) is part of Holmby Hills...

Ms Frivolity said...

Portia walked out onto the lawn with a Salviati champagne flute in one hand,her Cavalli chiffon dress fluttering in the wind.She was happy,on top of the world.Men did she need them?Not really Ellen was more of a man than any of those studio pussies down there would ever be.

aunt mary said...

Oh, Ms F, there you are! I thought you'd gone missing. Love the burqa.

But is Portia wistful for a strong embrace and scruffy beard stubble against her cheek? There's really nothing quite like a real man. The dears.

Girl at the bar said...

Aunt Mary they're only dears when they're picking up the check.The rest of the time they need to be watched.

aunt mary said...

Bulletin: There's a seminar going on over in Ricky Martin's basement. I just peaked in and there was a blur of numbers and percent signs. Spread sheets all over the floor. Shiver.

Bar girl, enjoy them while you can dear, even the lousy ones.

Girl at the bar said...

Oh Aunt Mary pour me a stiff one,the real estate panic people scare me plus I'm always weary of a man in a cheap suit!

Girl at the bar said...

Oops I must have passed out!

Thomas Maloney said...

I love your blog mama and your descriptions are hilarious! Ellen has done really well for herself that’s for sure and I would love to see the inside of this house! It looks absolutely massive and I would be very interested in knowing what kind of prices we are talking about for a property that size. Any ideas?