Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Kimora Lee Simmons Goes Country in Beverly Hills


BUYER: Kimora Lee Simmons
LOCATION: Lime Orchard Road, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $5,900,000 (list price)
SIZE: 5,923 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Captivating country home remodeled with great attention to detail. This wonderful family home is located in guard gated celebrity enclave. Gated and very private this tennis court estate offers a large living room w/ f/p, formal dining room, gourmet kitchen w/top of the line appliances, opens to breakfast area, family/media room, 7 bedrms, 8.5 baths, distressed hardwd floors, beautiful bathrooms, large swimming pool, guest apt., sumptuous master suite. True country living at its best!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We figgered queen of conspicuous consumption Kimora Lee Simmons was searching for a bachelorette pad. Back in mid-May Your Mama discussed the Bird Street villa she had on the market for $5,800,000, which disappeared from the multiple listing service almost immediately after being put up. Your Mama hears through the grapevine that she sold the place, but we don't have any confirmation of that quite yet.

Whatever the case, what is clear from property records is that the six foot tall Afro-Asian mo-dell who recently added reality television star to her resume has already purchased a new Beverly Hills home for her and the kids. The listing states that this property represents "country living at it's best!" But the last we knew, Beverly Hills was not the country, and Kimora Lee Simmons is anything but a country hunny. Your Mama imagines this glamorous single mommy has already had a team of nice gay decorators up in there stripping the place of all the down home details and turning the place into a jewel encrusted home worthy of a very rich dee-vorcée and business entrepreneur who has a penchant for all things shiny, extravagant, and expensive.

While the house is far more modest than her glitzy house of horrors in New Jersey, the 5,923 square foot Tudor style house does have an impressive 7 bedrooms and 8 or 9 terlits, depending on who you ask. In addition to all the customary living, dining, family and media rooms, there is also a white on white guest apartment that will be perfect for housing the nannies and assistants. Which is a very good thing, because y'all know this bitch lives large and it surely takes a small army of live in staff to to keep her life running like a smoothly oiled machine.

Fortunately, the master suite is large and includes a vast bedroom with a fireplace, a lovely bathroom, and a decent sized dressing room/closet where Kimora can stash at least some of her famous and extensive shoe collection. If we were the wagering type, we'd bet a wad of cold hard cash that Miz Simmons incorporates at least one of the 7 bedrooms into the master suite so that she can have proper closet space for her clothing, handbags, shoes and jewelry.

Located in an exclusive enclave of guard gated homes high in the Hills of Beverly, Miz Simmons will not have to deal with the paparazzi standing in her driveway shouting her name and popping their flash bulbs. Nor will she have to deal with stoopid looky-loos who get in their cars and drive by the homes of the rich and famous hoping to catch them taking out the trash or stepping out of one of their tricked out whips. She will, however, have some glittery and eye-popping neighbors to invite over for backyard bbqs including Jessica Simpson, Guy Oseary, and Hollywood honchos Tom Freston and Andrew Vajna.

Despite the choice location, a swanky and well connected real estate professional that Your Mama is friendly with told us that Miz Simmons' new house is "crappy." We can't verify that because we've never been to the house, but that might explain why it sat on the market for almost a year and needed to be reduced from $6,950,000 to $5,900,000 before it was snatched up by Miz Simmons. Our information indicates a full price purchase at $5,900,000, but that can not be verified with public records at this time and we'll leave that to Mister Big Time to suss out and post about at a later date.

As far as Your Mama knows the ex-couple still have their horrific New Jersey mansion on the market at more than $20,000,000. But honestly kids, we are too busy to look this morning. But if you ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, that big House of Tacky will be on the market for a long, long time.

Listen Kimora hunny, when you get settled, you be sure to let Your Mama know when would be a good time to come on over and quietly stare at your new lover Djimon Hounsou. He may not have the mounds money of your ex huzband Russell has, but you traded up in the body department, didn't you?

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

This poor house. It has no idea what's in store. Her house in New Jersey was the tackiest thing I've ever laid eyes on. I'm sure she'll put some kind of animal theme fireplace in the living room in no time.

Anonymous said...

This house is kinda horrific but I'm positive once she's done decorating it will be even more horrific - Fashion designer my ass - this girl has zero taste ... Her fashion line is as tacky as her homes ...

nancypants said...

The house is...nice. Nothing special although the bathroom is retro-cute and the window seat in the closet is interesting. I definitely can't see Kimora movin' up in there.

Anonymous said...

what does the front of the house look like? it's just not the same without that

Phoenix said...

Hmmm, I'm not appreciating this house much. Clearly it's been refurbished to flip and not in a very appealing way either. It has a 'this could be a home in any American subdivision' look; definately not what I'd want or settle for if I was buying in Bev Hills, or anywhere else for that matter. I like the one for sale at 9583 Lime Orchard better.

Phoenix said...

An afterthought.. this house is a decades old remodeled English Tudor, and I bet all the criss cross molding on the walls you see in the stairwell area and living room is actually inches thick expensive wood paneling that's been painted over white. That is a crime, and the rehab a cheapo to make a quick buck. I can't believe Kimora bought this place, seriously.

nancypants said...

The more I think about it the more I'm lovin' that window seat in the walk-in. My walk-in is about the same size/shape and also has an exterior wall. I can see myself sitting in there reading/napping since it's the quietest place in the house when my noisy family is home. I'd definitely want uvb/uva windows though to prevent my clothes from fading. Hmmmm...

Phoenix said...

The window seat is a cute idea Nancy.. a character feature rarely found in newer builds. This is probably a nice house; I'm just having trouble seeing it through all the whitewashing that's been done. I just noticed more paneling that's been painted over in the billiard room.. sob. The chair placed under the stairwell is a suitably inappropriate cherry on top of this misguided cake.

nancypants said...

Phoenix, I hear ya.

Also, I just saw "Anon" posted a msg (VH1 post) that says he/she saw Mama already and he/she should dispense with the "chitlins and Lawd chilren? And the Royal We? "

I think we WILL be surprised BUT I don't give a damn! I LOVE Mama regardless.

Keep on Mama and never mind the Haters!

Phoenix said...

Hmmm Nancy.. Mama wrote: "Your Mama makes our debut on National TV. We'll be seen as a talking head."

The person you quote says it's a VH1 Classic to be repeated, so I'm thinking it's a wrong guess?

After rereading today's announcement, I caught the 'we' & 'our', so now I'm thinking Mama could be more than one person?

Following the wild speculation too closely could get schizophrenic, lol

Mark Wood said...

Looks like someone went to the lumber yard and they were having a sale on the same batch of wood.

I love wood, but not when the floors, table, cabinets, etc. are the SAME stain/grain.

Anonymous said...

Almost as annoying as Kimora herself.

House is much nicer than she is.

Anonymous said...

Is this in The Summit, Mulholland Estates, or Beverly Park? Which gated community is this property located in?????

luke220 said...

The New Jersey mansion reminds me of a K-Mart version of Fleur De Lys, for $100 million less!

nancypants said...

Crap! I can't wait to see what's in store! Could be anything!

Phoenix said...

Anon @ 1:02 PM, it's in the Hidden Valley Road enclave I believe.

Anonymous said...

This house is nothing fancy, but it seems fine. Djimon is one hot man, and those kids are so cute. I almost forgive her her excesses because of those kids. Her old house was new money ostentatious. This is the stay-at-home mom from NJ house.

West Coastian said...

She seems so over the top about everything, you wonder how she'll adapt to smaller, less flashy digs.

Interesting to see if she loves it long time. lol

Jane said...

If this house is "crappy" then my house must be a cave or a hole-in-the-wall." :(

Phoenix said...

Not at all Anne. I think the criticism being leveled at this house has to do with the so called rehab that's been done to it. Claiming to have been "remodeled with great attention to detail", all they really did was punch a hole in the roof over the stairwell, and whitewash every square inch of the home's costly interiors into oblivion. It's pretty clear the low end renovation strategy was sales targeted at someone with more money than good taste.

Phoenix said...

Oops, not at all JANE I meant to say. Where did I get Anne from? Sometimes I swear I have a dyslexic streak, lol

FUNKENSTEIN said...

Blingstress she may be...but I'm betting the Jersey Mcmansion/MTV Cribs experience has leveled and re-focused her sense of style.(let's pray)

She's in a good place in that "still attractive wealthy divorcee'"kinda' way...as is evidenced by her SOULPOLE sex toy.

Anonymous said...

Kimora is an overbearing skank.

Everything from her clothing line, to her previous home were/are tasteless.

Anonymous said...

Hey, frankly, I think her house in New Jersey is definately over the top but not tacky,...more like.....UNIQUE and EXTRAORDINARY. I mean really, why should everyone have the same themes and colors just for the sake of conforming and sticking with the traditional and the norm. Even if it may be tacky to some, I say bravo for being her own over-the-top self. If she weren't so over-the-top and just traditional like everyone else, where's the appeal?

Anonymous said...

this houuse dose not compare to the one she said she was going to buy on kimora life on the fab lane.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful home! too nice for Kimora she's sooo cheap looking.
And rude as well.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately Kimora did buy this home and she will transform this unique, custom built, and beautiful house into an atrocious golden palace. I have actually been inside this house and the pictures do not do it any justice. Whether you like old country shaker look or not, the feeling that one has when they walk into this house is one out of this world. The atmosphere, lay out, and color choice in this house gives it a serene, vineyard feel. I only wish for all of you posting negative comments on this house to even have the privelege to simply step foot into a house like this.

Anonymous said...

I watched the show and saw her demands to her real estate agent. To put it bluntly, "Find me a new home with 7 bedrooms in three days, or I'll take my money to a new real estate broker." It was very rude. And not only have I watched the MTV Cribs episode featuring her tacki beyond belief home in Saddle River, NJ, I have also been there. Its located at 101 Fox Hedge Road. I even took a few pictures. The house is shielded by a wrought-iron gate topped with gold, 2 main entry way gates, both with giant GOLD capitol S and a wall of hedges. You can only see the roof and part of the house in the dead of winter because all of the leaves have fallen off. There are also cameras on both gates. It gave me the heeby geebys, i honestly thought one of her 2 body guards would come out and ask me to leave

Kim said...

why does her closet connect onto the room with the pool table?

ranezia said...

kimora you the bomb

Anonymous said...

Emm why does everyone hate kimora ya'll are just jealous f*ckers! Leave her alone all she did was make a good career for herself! Stop being so jealous!