Thursday, March 29, 2007

Everybody Loves Phil Rosenthal

SELLER: Phil and Monica Rosenthal
LOCATION: Hudson Place, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $5,950,000
SIZE: 8,533 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: 1936 Mediterranean Villa in Hancock Park. Dramatic center hall w/wood inlay floors. State of the art screening system in step down living room with fireplace. Formal dining room. Office with multiple built-ins and marble fireplace. Family room contains a wet bar and several large-scale built-ins. Basement wine cellar. Kitchen features a 6 range Viking stove, Subzero fridge, breakfast area and counter top bar. Master suite includes full sized dressing room and 2 marble baths. Multiple bonus rooms.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other day Your Mama got a call from our old drinking buddy Veronica Lake. Lawhd children, the stories we could tell about the time Your Mama got way-layed in an Okahoma City drinking establishment with that gurl. Suffice to say law enforcement and a pair of slingbacks were involved. Anyhoo, Veronica tells me some bigwig television producer is selling his house in Hancock Park. Veronica claims she's been up in this house, but, you know, Veronica sometimes lies when she's drunk. So we went and checked it out ourselves. Sure enough, a man name Phil Rosenthal is selling his Hancock Park mansion.

If y'all will stop yer hollering and settle down, Your Mama will tell you who Phil Rosenthal is. This man has made a mountain of money as the one of the creators, writers and producers of the wildly successful sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond. Previous to that show, he had a long run producing that deeply disturbing sitcom Coach. Remember that one with the old drunk guy? Sorry Mister Rosenthal, but your Coach show gave us the heebie-jeebies.

However, many moons ago the reruns of this Raymond show was one of Your Mama's television guilty pleasures. The show was funny. It was children. And the cast was superb. Then we started reading about this Patricia Heaton and her crazy conservative notions and we admit we started turning the channel. The lady is entitled to her opinions. And Your Mama is free to change the channel so we can be spared the disjointed confusion and internal upset of being made to laugh out loud by a very funny right winger.

So we were relieved to discover, through our completely legal snooping, that Mister Rosenthal donated $2,000 to the John Kerry campaign in 2004 and the Raymond show was not the hive of conservatism we feared.

Moving on to the real estate...Located in an exclusive section of Hancock Park, the house is adjacent the Wilshire Country Club. Fortunately it does not border the golf course. Your Mama is not sure why anyone would want to live in a house backed up to a golf course where a bunch of rich white men in tacky clothes can watch you sun yourself nekkid in the backyard. Please, no. Your Mama prefers more privacy when Juanita comes over to give us a poolside mani-pedi and Rocco comes by to give us one of his shiatsu miracle rubs in the cabana.

Now children, go ahead and click on the photos above so that you can see them larger and then check out the media room. What's shown up on the screen? Yes babies, that's the rude, crude, and hi-larious Borat wearing some sort of over the shoulder slingshot bikini bathing suit. Your Mama is not sure if it's the homeowner or the Sotheby's listing agent that engineered that, but whomever did it, we would like to thank you and congratulate you for that bit of humorous subversiveness.

One thing that does concern Your Mama is the lack of electronic gates on this property. No doubt the house is equipped with a state of the art security system sophisticated enough to shove a shiv up in an intruder all by itself, but we always feel safer behind electronic gates and/or an army of doormen. And for this amount of money, we wouldn't go without that feature.

Clearly this couple has had a team of nice gay decorators into the house to create an ambiance of warm and glowing sophistication that retains the relaxed comfort of a home meant to be lived in. Ack. The place looks great. The decor is not our taste. It's all a little tra-dish-a-nawl for us, but we really can't argue with what we're seeing. Except for that table in the corner of the bedroom. Your Mama loathes occasional tables in general and specifically we loathe occasional tables draped in floor length table cloths that look like sheets. It just looks to us like someone ran out of money or patience and decided that corner was not important enough for an actual piece of furniture.

We do however appreciate the French doors opening to the elegant Juliet balcony and we think the exterior articulation is really quite lovely. Grand, yet understated. The exterior of this house has nothing to prove and we appreciate that quality.

Now, Your Mama has a very bizzy day ahead. We have lots more properties for you, but we may not be back until tomorrow. So sit tight babies and be sure to come back and see Your Mama soon.

1 comment:

Natalee said...

Mama, I'm very excited by this post for 2 reasons:

1) I live in OKC, and would LOVE to know which drinking establishment you were way-layed at.

and

2) I noticed the scene from "Borat" as well (before I read the description), and thought that was awesome.

Great job as always, Mama, you know I love ya!