Monday, December 18, 2006

Real Estate Pornography II

SELLER: Joel Horowitz
LOCATION: Lake Tahoe, NV
PRICE: $100,000,000
SIZE: 210 acres, 38,000 sq. ft, 9+ bedrooms, 9+ bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: "Tranquility" is Lake Tahoe's most prestigious property. 210 acres of magical seclusion overlooking Lake Tahoe and situated on it's own private lake. The 8 buildings consist of a main residence, conservatory, guest residence, separate residence for staff and guests, art studio, gymnasium with indoor basketball court, stables, and boat house pavilion.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Okay children, settle down. Your Mama knows you do not know who this Joel Horowitz is and why he has a house like this. But I'm going to tell you. See, Mr. Horowitz co-founded a clothing company with none other than hippity hop Hilfiger (see next post). Yes, that's right babies, this man is also filthy rich from selling white people's clothes to black people.

And just look what he did with all his money...built himself a hunting lodge fit for a Rockefeller. It is our understanding Mr. Horowitz bought this land from Las Vegas crooner extraordinnaire Wayne Newton in the late 1990's when Mr. Newton had some bankruptcy issues.

SIDE NOTE: While just a youngster growing up in California, Your Mama's aunty Jennie had a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Wayne Newton that held court in her garage next to the dryer for many years. So you know I have a soft spot for this man even though I'd like to tell him he's not 45 anymore and to stop dipping his head in that black hair dye.

Anyway, back to the spoils of the rag trader...let me give you a few more highlights of this property that'll make your hair stand on end children: 19 seat movie theater, a wine cellar that can hold 3,200 bottles and includes a lounge based on one at the ultra posh St. Regis Hotel in New York, a sweeping staircase modeled after the Titanic's, 11 fireplaces, a few golf holes, a putting green and a private, stocked lake.

This property, at it's current list price, is thought to be one of the country's most expensive listings along with other for-sale properties like Mr. Donald Trump's flip in Palm Beach, a Saudi Prince's estate in Aspen, a vast track of oceanfront land in Santa Barbara and of course, Candy Spelling's pile in the Holmby Hills of Los Angeles (see previous post: the $150,000,000 pile).

Your Mama must confess, we don't know whether to seethe with envy over the amount of money this man has or to be outraged that someone would spend this amount of money on a vacation home. What do the children think?

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